Tammy@Chan.com

CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOGS!

2009-07-02T00:49:00.004+08:00

Check out my new blogs people...
I'll no longer be blogging here ;P
I divided my blog into 4: Music, Movies, TV and well, my life
If you are interested, well, Thank you haha...

For movies: www.tc-mymovies.blogspot.com
For music: www.tc-mymusic.blogspot.com
For TV: www.tc-mytube.blogspot.com
For a Piece of me: www.tc-myspace.blogspot.com

Thanks a lot
Take care and see you guys around

With Lotsa Lurve,
TammyC

Tribute to Gilles & Cheryl

2009-05-21T01:18:00.005+08:00

(I made the pic above as a tribute to my fave couple on DWTS 8)

Sometimes, we have to admit that reality shows that requires voting just ain't fair.
Usually, it's not about who's the best, but rather, who's the most popular.
And today, sadly, once again i face this fact. Gilles Marini, consistently on the TOP of the Dancing with the Stars chart has lost to Shawn Johnson.

Well, surprisingly, 4 months ago when the casts of the new season was revealed, I knew immediately it was going to be Shawn. I mean, the history of DWTS says it - all Olympian or sportsmen/women usually wins it. And therefore, I knew Shawn is going to win before it even started. Then when I saw Gilles, I thought, wow...maybe this time, things would be different, because Gilles is really really BRILLIANT.

Gilles, however, is French and has a really small fan base. (I'd say maybe none?) I mean, have you even heard of Gilles Marini before this (or even now?) Sadly, no. But he is hot. He has a cameo in "Sex and the City: The Movie" and apparently in "Ugly Betty". See, I don't even notice him before. But now, I'm definitely gonna. He's really hot...especially in Paso Doble! OMG!

So with his small fan base, it is difficult for him to get votes. But...he has managed to get to the FINALS and that means HE IS REALLY REALLY GOOD!!! And the best part is, he is paired with one of my MOST favourite pro dancer, Cheryl Burke. What a combination....!

The thing about Gilles is, he is the ONLY male celebrity on the show, throughout 8 seasons that I actually love watching. Usually I focus on the girls dancing, I mean, duh...their legs and movements....so stunning. But Gilles, he is the only male celebrity who can shake it and dance like a PRO. He's fluid and his body movements are beautiful. Seriously...if you actually watch DWTS...you'll know what I mean.

Cheryl has always been great in chereography, even though I do think that Derek and Mark and Julianne are also good. But Cheryl is the more serious or conventional kinda chereographer, whereas Derek, Mark & Julianne are younger, so they are more fun and usually they add hip-hop styles in their moves. Cheryl is great in creating a dance with storylines and also always brings out the character or personality of her celeb partner. So she always score with the judges on that.

For example, Cheryl & Gilles 'Quickstep' is most amazing! It made me love them and most importantly, made me love Quickstep which I usually think is boring. In their QuickStep, Gilles play Clark Kent and Cheryl plays Louis...it's brilliant. You should watch it on YouTube. There are so many other dances that wowed me...I can't describe it all.

(Gilles & Cheryl's Quickstep)

When they dance, you really feel the emotions. I've watched many many "Dancing with the Stars" clips on Youtube...but no one ever captured me with their emotions during the dances. Gilles taught me what is translating emotions into dances. Every step he takes in his dance, he delivers in emotions....you see he feels it. He is an ARTISTE! That makes him different. It is boring to see some dancers because there is not personality or emotions in the dances, but there is with Gilles. I don't know how to credit his techniques (but I'm sure they are good) but I know that he is a true performer.

I think with his ability to carry his emotions into his dancer, he is definitely a FANTASTIC actor. I think it's a waste that he doesn't get to star in more bigger roles. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of him because i think he is really talented. i hope the show opened up more opportunities for him.

But today was sad because Gilles lost to Shawn. Sigh....VERY DISAPPOINTED. I admit though that during the finals, Shawn's freestyle was exceptional, but Gilles' paso was also BRILLIANT!...but then again, sadly, the freestyle is like the determinant factor, just like how the American Idols are judged based on their final song. DARN IT! But Shawn is also one great dancer, she is also very fun to watch. And so CONGRATULATIONS SHAWN!

Gilles has been on the TOP for the most weeks and gained the most 30 in the season...so in my heart, HE IS STILL THE WINNER & THE BEST MALE DANCER THROUGHOUT ALL 8 SEASONS!!!

I'm just so sad that I won't be able to look forward to another of his dance. Sigh...
Love Gilles & Cheryl all the way....

-tammy the awesome-

MISS MALAYSIA???

2009-04-21T16:25:00.003+08:00

2 days ago, the new Miss USA was crowned. The beauty queen with the crown this year? - Miss North Carolina, Kristen Dalton.

I think most Miss USAs (not the teens though) are all really smart ladies with brains, unlike our local beauties. I'm not saying that all Miss Malaysia contestants are lousy, but seriously, among the 14 contesting in the Miss Malaysia pageant, I think there is only 1 or 2 that are really deserving of the title. And sometimes, you really think, this year's pageant is really a waste of time. There is no one whom I'd choose to represent my country in the Miss Universe competition.

Don't get me wrong. Malaysia has many beauty with brains. It's just that these girls just won't join the pageant. I mean, seriously, if you are beautiful & intelligent, why would you join the Malaysian pageant right?? The Malaysian pageant is known for its 'high' quality. To be associated with that??

When you see a Miss USA contestant, you see a charismatic, confident, active, intelligent, beautiful, hot woman, who has the poise and that elegance - a lady that represents America. When you see a Miss Malaysia contestant, most of the time, the words Ah Lian, wanna-marry-rich man, celebrity-wannabe, Manglish...all comes to mind. I'm really sorry, but it is true.

The only time I'd watch Miss Malaysia is when I heard that they do well in the Miss Universe pageant. Only few managed to do that. Lina Teoh, Arianna Teoh and I forgot her name, Priya Henry or something. My favourite Miss Malaysia of all times - Lina Teoh. I still think by far, she's the best. When I see her, I don't see her wanting to be glamourous or famous, but I see someone who is humble, confident and just a woman with beauty and intelligence. She's not in the local scene so often anymore, I think she is married with a family now, but she still is someone whom I'll remember. She was 2nd runner-up in the 1998 Miss World pageant and I was really really proud that time.

Anyway back to Miss USA this year. The hot topic was that Miss California (the 1st runner-up) lost the title to Miss North Carolina because of her controversial answer. Miss California was asked whether or not other states in America should follow in Vermont's footsteps to legalize same sex marriage.

She answered that she is happy to be in a country whereby one can choose who to marry - same sex or not, but in her family, she believes that a marriage should be in between a man and a woman. And she added, no offense to anyone.

Even though I do not see eye-to-eye with her views, I think she answered very well and very honestly. I mean, if she doesn't believe in gay or lesbianism, at least she is honest about it. If she lied just to win the crown, I think that would make her a person with no integrity.

But if you ask me, I believe that a marriage should be between the two person getting married - regardless of sex. As long as they are happy....

The judge Perez Hilton said she lost the crown because of her answer. Some of the people in the crowd also booed her and it is the first time they say, that a Miss USA got booed. I think the judges are in a difficult position too. If they let her win, it might show that they are anti-same sex marriage.

I think her being in second place is the best. At least it's a win-win situation for both. I mean, second is not a bad position to be in.

Anyway since the tabloids and news were sensationalizing this issue, I thought I'd share my two-cents also. But seriously though, did you guys check out this year's Miss Malaysia finalists??
3 words in one - OMG!!! Only one worth looking at and I pray to God that she can speak well!!!

Sorry la..i know I'm in no position to judge. Maybe I should also check my own face in the mirror. But then again, if you join the pageant, you should be ready for judgments...and criticisms. At least I keep my face within my house ok...

tammy
p/s: i am so lazy to do my assignments so i end up doing this 'mo liu' (lame & time wasting) post

What is e-learning if it's so 'slow'

2009-04-03T20:15:00.002+08:00

NO! I have not been abducted by any aliens and NO I'm definitely not dead!

Well I know i've abandoned my blog for quite some time so i'm just trying to reassure you that I have not evaporated into thin air.

I've been very tied up with the stupid e-learning thing, which caused me being emotionally unstable last week. In fact, I'm still waiting for this week's attendance in order for me to be completely calm.

So what happened? Background detail: We have to do e-learning 3 hours per week.

Last week, i was working and therefore, my strategy for e-learning was to concentrate on reading more articles online first and contribute to the forum this week. I though just reading articles is sufficient since my 'lovely' lecturer said tat reading articles also means participating in e-learning. Apparently NOT because when the attendance list came out, i scored only 15 points, (and i have no idea how it is converted to hours) meaning to say i didn't do my 3 hours last week.

Personally, I can assure you that I've spent more than 3 hours reading the articles, but since reading the articles SUDDENLY DOES NOT CONTRIBUTE TO ATTENDANCE, I did not score enough points. I managed 15 points be of the only one hour or less i spent on the forum, waiting for it to load.

Logging on to the e-learning forum took too long so instead my strategy was to read more articles online first, then later, write my forum contributions in WORD DOCUMENT, and later just post them. But now apparently I can't do that.

My biggest mistake was actually READING THE ARTICLES instead of READING THE POSTS ON THE FORUM. I am stupid....should have let the forum load though it takes hours. Should have been patient...just let it load...

My 'kind' and so 'understanding' lecturer just ASSUMED that i'm giving excuses. I understand he has many students who are doing well and many also are giving excuses. But this doesn't mean that he should just disregard students who are genuinely in need of help. If he is so busy and cannot cope because he has so many students under him, well, let someone who can handle it take that super-high position. No matter how many PHD on your forehead, if you are up there, it is your responsibility to really understand the problem of your students.

Plus, he conveyed the wrong info to us....IF READING ARTICLES DO NOT CONTRIBUTE TO OUR ATTENDANCE, SAY SO! DONT SAY CAN READ ARTICLES. Honestly, it will kill us okay. We get low marks because of that, and then you blame us for not participating. ANd when we say we did - we read articles but because of the connection is bad we didn't enter the forum yet ...you say we should 'ask ourselves this or that'....Please...I've asked myself and i confirmed that I did participate by reading articles and just not the FORUM OKAY! So i wanted to confirmed with him whether or not READING ARTICLE is part of participating in e-learning....HE AGAIN DISREGARD THE QUESTION...and give me with those i-already-know stuff.

i gave suggestions on how i can participate, like maybe email him or sumthin so that at least if the connection is bad and i cannot post, he can still read my work. But he again DISREGARD my suggestion and just throw back a few i-already-know facts.

I told him the connection is bad....and he said it is excuses. So i have no where to run to. I then emailed my TARC lecturers. I saw a *light*.....You see, I totally admire my local lecturers. THey don't need a BIG title, or to be known as a UK lecturer, but they are great because they are problem solvers. THey do not judge their students. They don't assume that their students are giving excuses. They try to find out more first and would advise us.

We were advised to Print Screen the problem so that they can file it and later present to LJMU as evidence. I don't know whether it is Mr. Chuan, Miss Lim or Josephine (one of the class leaders) who suggested this, but whoever did is TOTALLY BRILLIANT and SMART. Anywayz, better than Print Screen, I've recorded down how *beep* long it took just to log on. If this few weeks i don't earn back my points...i'm so gonna complain...

Anyway i got to go back to e-learning...i think i has finish loading haha

take care

-tammy the awesomist-
they say have fun in UK...pre-Uk is already stressful

2009-03-25T23:51:00.002+08:00

I pray
That good things come your way,
Though you can't see the sun ray
During summer or at the end of May,
But always remember,
That there is always the next day

I'll wish upon the shining star,
That no matter where you are,
You'll go far,
That you'll see a light shining you,
And that this light will guide you through

I hope that you'll see the positive,
Instead of pondering on the negative,
I hope that you'll reach for the moon,
And if you shall fall,
You'll fall upon them stars

I hope you know that confidence will bring you far,
So be confident but humble no matter where you are,
And though I know I might not be the one by your side,
For they are many out there that you so like,
But I hope you know I'm silently there,
To help with all I can and care....

tammy c
-sometime ago-

2009-03-20T00:42:00.003+08:00

Going to LJMU and being in UK is already stressful enough considering the fact that I have to deal with so many assignments in just 3 months.

Dad is making it worst for me. Sometimes, i guess it is so stressful that i feel the need to please and live up to my dad's standards, even when i feel that i've given my best. And what he says always makes me doubt whether I'm good enough.

I was talking to dad about how some of my friends are reconsidering the decision to further their studies and like how one of my friend has found an alternative course which he plans to do. I was just saying these stuff because i thought of sharing some conversational topics with him and not to tell him that i'm also having the same thoughts. He then continued with his lecture and then added a few lines that hurt me so bad.

He told me that from the way he is seeing things, he feel that my new bunch of advanced diploma friends are influencing me. He feels that i'm making a decision because i want to stick with the big group. Even when i made my decision to stay in TARC to continue my advanced diploma, he feels so, I guess.

The thing is, I'm so tired of people not believing in me. I hate to be a follower but no one understands. All of my decisions are 90% based on what I really want for myself. If i have to take a different step from the rest, i will. I did after Form 5 when i left all my best friends for TARC...all of them went to Form 6 except me.

Honestly, I've never budged from my decision to continue my studies in the UK even though i find it really stressful for me. And honestly, i was just telling my dad how stressful i am because i need to confide in someone at that moment and i guess, it shouldn't have been him. Never ever should be i guess. SO many times have i opened up and ended up feeling worst. WHat's the point anymore? They say talk to your parents. I guess...sometimes, it's not that simple and then all you have got is your friends. And they don't like your friends.

My advanced diploma results have deteriorated yes. I'm not finding an excuse but i honestly feel that it's the new grading system. If the results were to be graded according to the old system, i've gotten straight As because all the B+ i got used to be As. I guess now i know that my previous As were not high As. I feel that maybe that's my standard but dad seems to think it's my new bunch of friends. Again I don't know what to say. Am I really at fault here?

Now i feel like i have to really to push and strain myself in order to prove that it's not my friends' fault. Of course I aim high for my degree but I also don't want to have my expectations too high. But now, I guess, nothing but a first class is good enough for him.

I love my friends. I think my classmates are the coolest people on Earth. They are playful but not bad people. It is true that many times they lack time management lar, but hanging out with them is the best time of my life. And my parents don't know that i guess. I just feel that they need to cut me some slack. I just wanna be YOUNG and have some fun. But in some ways, I feel so tied up.

My dad don't tell me directly that he doesn't like me hanging so much with these friends, not until today, but that means taking away the happy moments in my life. Plus, it's not like i joined them for all activities, just selected ones and he is already having issues. During exams, I don't even hang out.

Today I came back from a gathering with my friends. Considering the fact that i'm already 22 and that i do have a bunch of quite playful friends, I came home a bit late, around 11.30pm. I know that my parents are worried, and i always try my best to go home early, but sometimes, we just 'love' each other so much that we wanna hang out longer. So eventually I still am a bit late.

Mum says that dad is conservative, and therefore there are a lot of things that he doesn't accept. I always thought that dad is somewhat reasonable, maybe he is in certain things, but he never fully understands me. That's why i feel no matter how i try to open up, he won't understand what i mean and maybe I don't get his ways. Maybe he has gone through what it's like being my age, but we are different individuals with different wants in life. So, i guess, maybe my sis could be right, just don't tell dad everything. Cuz why wanna hurt yourself, right?

I guess on the outside, most people see me as confident and happy-go-lucky. I am usually cheerful and seems like problem-free. It's like they think that I won't feel hurt in any way. My family all thinks i'm naive and stupid but whatever I do, I do for a reason and a personal judgment which they won't understand. My judgment could be stupid to them, but if i feel that it is something that i can live with and take consequences for, i think i've made the right choice. Call me naive or whatever but this is me. Idealistic but rational at times. The good thing is, like i said, i get over things quite easily so i'll probably be better tomoro.

Whatever said, I know that I hold no grudges towards them because i know that at the end, they are always there. But i guess,

Whatever it is....today ended badly with people doubting me. Hopefully tomoro, I'll be happier....

Tammy c

TO JT - NOT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

2009-03-17T16:36:00.004+08:00

In reply to all JT's comments:

Thanks JT for your comments....I know that very itsy-bitsy biblical knowledge from some readings and documentaries i watched on YouTube. I am really really into the myths and stories behind Gods... Greek Gods and also Jesus. It's not whether I believe or not but i just love to search stuff abt these historical stories...very very interesting!

Anyway I think I get what you mean and in fact, if you explain that way right, abt how there were people helping Jesus during his way to crucifixion, i think i feel now that maybe that's another similarity of Superman and Jesus. Jesus needs a minor help from passersby in order to continue his larger cause, just like Superman.

Now thinking about it, maybe getting some minor help is not exactly a weakness. But I guess towards to end, the only thing that differentiates a HERO and GOD is that heroes might have still one or two weaknesses despite being great but GOD (in some context) have none. But you might be interested to know that Greek Gods all have weaknesses, in fact quite a lot. Like Apollo, Aphrodite and even Zeus. I guess because they are all once humans....born with powers.

And also i agree with your point about Aslan. Besides the point you mention, also the concept that when you need Aslan and call for him, He'll be there. But it's like he's always there, but not physically visible. only those who choose to believe that he is there and is always there will get his message. Like Lucy...she believes in Aslan's presence.

Anywayz take care and hope to chat more in class la haha...but need to pay attention...

SUPERMAN RETURNS

2009-03-15T00:34:00.008+08:00

THE MAN RETURNS

I remember watching this movie "Superman Returns" ages ago. But watching it again today on TV2 just helps me understand the movie in a whole new level.

Well, when i watched the movie the first time, i was mainly drooling over how hot Brandon Routh is. And yes indeed, after all these years, he is still as stunningly attractive. I wonder where he is now? I guess sometimes looks alone brings you nowhere...Opps!

Anywayz, i was shocked to see James Marsden playing Richard, Lois Lane's fiance. I mean, last time, i had noooo idea it was him. I only hated that character because i wanted Superman and Lois Lane together and that fiance is just a nuisance in their relationship. I know, how childish right? Well i was like that last time haha. I always watch a show or movie if only the hero and heroine of my choice ends up together. LAME ya...but i wouldn't say i'm out of that phase but at least some improvement haha.

I have a completely different feeling about Richard this time when watching "Superman Returns" this time however. Maybe it's because i like James Marsden haha...
But no, seriously, Richard is actually my favourite character, besides Superman of course.

I think Richard is like the human symbol of Superman. It's like, when Superman left Lois, she found Richard i think because of Richard's similarity with Superman. Well, Richard flies airplanes, so he indirectly, it's like he flies, just like Superman. And there was a scene where Lois Lane asked him, how did you come here and he answered, "I flew". I guess this shows the symbolic representation of Superman in Richard.

The climax of the movie sees Superman in trouble. Richard flew his plane together with Lois and son, Jason, to Superman's aid. I guess it really shows that Superman is really 'human' in his own way, even though he hails from another planet. He needs help as much as we do too. And at the beginning we see SUperman helpin others, and later we see Richard helping Superman.

Richard is also really cool because even though he knows his beloved Lois is in love with Superman, he is there for her. So supportive and that's what made him a real man. He is somewhat like Superman here again, isn't he? Superman is there for Lois.

I feel now that "Superman Returns" have a deeper meaning to it. It's not just a lame remake of comic book heroes. If you ask me, what the whole movie is trying to say is, anyone can be Superman in their own ways. You don't need a cape and a red underwear worn outside to be Superman. And even if you are Superman, it doesn't mean that you don't need help.

Lois in the movie won an award for her article "Why we don't need Superman in our life"
But Superman told her that he hears cries for help everyday and i guess he feels it's his responsibility to help them....I guess we can relate to that. We are no SUperman of course but i'm sure as human you see pleas for help everywhere and sometimes i guess, we should help, like Superman, but within our powers of course.

This lead me to my favourite part of the movie, which is when Superman flew together with Lois and brought her 'hanging' in mid-air in the middle of nowhere. And there he asked "What do you hear?". Lois answered, "Nothing" and he replies, "I hear everything."

I remember this part til now. The exact phrase. Personally, I'm really touched by Superman's reply, I don't know why. Maybe because i feel that he is burdened with that responsibility. For Superman, he has to help like practically everyone...maybe he feels tired too. Have you ever felt that you want to help but you can't? Well, for us, we can just be like "Hey, i Can't help you, I'm not Superman!" But for him, well he is Superman. Plus, who can he confide in?

I am recently exposed to a text on religion etc etc, and how the program "Lost" contains certain depictions of religion that spurred a lot of online discussions about the matter. Of course the main point of the text is a lot more and not important in this context. But because of the article, i thought of how "Superman Returns" might be also used to communicate certain idea of religion.

"Superman" is seen as the saviour in the movie. There was a part in the movie where we hear a voice-over of Superman's father saying that he sent his only son to Earth to help humans. I'm not Christian but isn't that similar to why God sent his only son, Jesus to Earth?

If it is an indirect representation of Christianity, i guess the author of the movie is very subtlely saying that, maybe even the son of God has weaknesses, like Superman - kyptonite. Sorry, i'm not trying to offend Christians but it's just what i feel the movie is presenting because of the scriptwriting.

Superman is seen as the "saviour" in the movie. And the "Saviour" at the end needs to be saved. Or put it differently, even the "saviour" has a weakness too.

Superman was declared dead towards the end of the movie, but then he woke up again. Just like how Jesus rise again after being crucified.

Lois is like Mary Magdalene. Jesus loves her the most among his disciples, right? I hope i get the facts right haha. Jesus loves all his disciples but her the most. Superman takes care of all of us, but Lois the most.

The scene in which we see Superman flying above Earth, closing his eyes (similar to the picture below)....gives me the impression that he is like God...overlooking on all of us...listening to our cries...

I just see some similarities here and there. Again i really do not wish to anger any Christians. Feel free to reason with me because my facts could be inaccurate.

I am not a Superman fan. I'm never. I find Superman fake. I mean, how can one not see that Clark Kent is Superman! Plus i really hate superhero movies where the heroine always seem to need help from the hero. Plzzzz....cal me whatever but in reality, it's not necessarily like that.

But I thank God that "Superman Returns" is quite realistic in some ways. Like at least Lois has character - she's dependent and even though she needs Superman's help, she's not like that useless herself. She doesn't sit and wait for help but uses her brains also.

And i love the fact that the story includes a part in which Richard and Lois helped Superman. It just shows that sometimes, we can do a part even without super powers.

When Superman was in the hospital, in comma, Lois kissed him and then looked at that monitor thingy in the hospital and then she shook her head and laughed. I find this part very realistic haha...because she was hoping that she's in a fairy tale, a true love's kiss would wake a person up. I don't know about you but even tough girls sometimes secretly wish for a fairy tale ending in devasting times. And when it doesn't happen, they'll laugh at themselves for that silly thought because we all know that storybook endings seldom happen. And even if it does, I don't think I'm the lucky one. Trust me, I do think like that sometimes. I guess Lois was feeling exactly the same.

Superman - fictional or realistic...you decide. I mean, Superman to me is just a symbolic representation of someone great, that we feel can 'save' us. Saving us doesn't have to be physically but in so many other aspects and ways. I'm sure deep in all our hearts, we have our own Superman or Supermans. And maybe you are a "superman" to someone else too. You will never know ;P

tammy c

AN ENCOUNTER

2009-03-07T22:10:00.003+08:00

Two days working for "Wynkids". Believe it or not...it is quite fun even though i have to stand for one whole day trying to convince parents to buy the children educational program. I love interacting with the parents and playing with their kids. So, except for the extreme pain in the leg, i think the job is very fun.

I was stationed in Kepong Carrefour. And there is this really super cute guy working at an optical shop nearby, just the shop next to the one behind our booth. He's really tall, and large and he's super adorable. He has really small eyes and a strikingly sharp nose. Usually i don't like guys with small eyes but this one is so smart in his working outfit, with a tie and when he smiles, he has this boyish charm about him that is so attractice haha. He's not the hottest and most handsome guy i've met, but he's the most appealing definitely.

I saw him talking to other people, i wish i had the courage to talk to him haha even though today, when something happened in the shopping mall, he asked me "who is she scolding?"

Well, today, there was this lady in the shopping centre who suddenly screamed very loudly at someone at the escalator. All of the shop owners just came out to have a look and suddenly, there he is, next to me. And he's so tall...i feel so small. Plus, i feel so kiddy while he's so matured. He is the first guy i met that really strikes me. I think that moment is like James Blunt's song..."You're Beautiful" haha...."But it's hard to face the truth...I'll never be with you" haha.

Whatever it is, it is just an encounter. He's just someone i met for a while in my life and after this will forget. He's just someone whom i bumped into and will just pass by. Sigh...just 2 days...haha

Anyway, back to reality. I'm going back to college soon yay!

Back to being a student. Back to those crazy days when we all just craze around and do silly things in class. It's always fun being a student. Assignments can be stressful but still, we can be young and carefree....

Okay....time to go. tired after a long day of work haha. I'm still gonna miss working there in Kepong, mainly because of the guy haha...

tammy c

UGLY BETTY IS NOT JUST ABT BEING UGLY

2009-03-03T22:36:00.010+08:00

Sometimes we are so focused in getting what we want that we forgot that it involves others....and what they feel'

Today's episode of "Ugly Betty" is centered around the above quote.

Another meaningful episode. That's why i love "Ugly Betty". It's funny always, and entertaining but nonetheless always there to subconsciously make u ponder on stuffs. I think it's a remarkable way to teach people a lesson - don't tell them, but let them think and tell themselves.

In this episode, we see how sometimes we refuse to see, or maybe can't see that what we want for ourselves is affecting other people's lives.

Betty meets up again with Gio again after his trip to Rome. Gio, who was rejected by Betty previously now hates Betty. Betty did everything she could to once again be friends with Gio, because she doesn't want to be regarded as 'bad', like Gio said she was.

She wants so badly to be friends again with Gio that she doesn't know that her presence is hurting Gio. He is still not over her breaking his heart.

Gio told her that she didn't do all the things to make Gio feel better, but rather to make herself feel less guilty, which is true. I've definitely been through Betty's situation before and i guess sometimes, we overdo things. We think of ourselves as noble and helpful but in fact, actually, we do it because we want ourselves to be accepted, we want to be "GOOD".

In Betty's case, she wanted so badly to be accepted again by her friend that she can't see how she's hurting him.

Daniel, Betty's boss found out that his son, DJ is not his real son, but his brother's. He then found out that therefore he would lose custody of DJ to DJ's grandparents. Daniel then plans to evade with DJ because he refuse to give up his son to the grandparents in France.

Daniel only thought of himself and his son, and how bad he wanted his 'son' but he couldn't see that DJ was also all that his grandparents had after DJ's mother died. Besides, DJ's grandparents are good people, deserving of the chance to spend time with their grandson too.

So, in Daniel's case, he wanted to keep his son so badly that he can't see how he's being unfair to DJ's grandparents and how sad those two old folks would be for not being able to have their grandson with them.

Hilda, Betty's sister is in love with Tony Diaz, her son's coach. Tony, however, is married with a wife who he doesn't have feelings anymore. Tony finally decides to come clean to his wife, telling her that he has met someone whom he really loves. Tony's wife, who thought that Betty was the one Tony is having an affair with, accidentally confronted Hilda, and told her that she still loves Tony and wanted a second chance with Tony.

Hilda wanted to be with Tony so badly that she didn't think of how his wife is feeling. Tony wanted to be with Hilda so badly that he also didn't think of how his wife is feeling. He only knows that he loves Hilda and he neglected the fact that his wife might still have feelings for him.

I love Hilda's words. She said she and her ex-husband never had a second chance because her husband was killed in a robbery. Therefore, she wants to give Tony's wife a second chance with her husband. She doesn't want to be the reason their marriage fail. She doesn't want to be responsible.

In the end, everyone realizes that sometimes we pursue somethings all the way for our own contentment without realizing what we are doing to others. I guess this is something i'd try to think about the next time i want something haha.

Anywayz cheers to "Ugly Betty" for being the TV show worth watching...

Tammy C

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

2009-03-02T15:17:00.013+08:00

And the award goes to...

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An impressive 8 Oscars, making the movie the biggest winner of the 81st Academy Awards. If you ask me, I think it's so deserving of the 8 awards.

Best Motion Picture of the Year: Slumdog Millionaire

Achievement in Directing: Slumdog Millionaire

Music written for motion pictures (Score) : Slumdog Millionaire

Music (Song): Slumdog Millionaire

Achievement in film editing: Slumdog Millionaire

Achievement in sound mixing: Slumdog Millionaire

Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire

Writing (Adapted screenplay): Slumdog Millionaire

Great directing style, great cinematography, great editing and great writing. I agree! The music is also good because it captures the Hindi Bollywood culture and combines it with some Hollywood flavours. There were a few songs in the movie which caught my attention. They were in English but with Indian-styled melody. Cool and interesting! Haha...Overall the movie is something very new and different.

Previously, there were many British films that combines Indian or Punjabi cultures with the Western cultures such as Bend It Like Beckham, Bride and Prejudice and even the BBC comedy Kumars at No. 42. All these shows tries to depict Indians living abroad and their cultures.

Slumdog Millionaire I feel, is a movie that integrates the two cultures in a new, creative way. When you watch the movie, you see features of a Hollywood or Western movie to be exact, but also elements of an Indian movie. That means, the movie is true to its roots of the Indian culture but also includes some Western cultures in it. Contrary to the previous integration of both cultures, this movie is set in India, instead of in British or America. But then, you see how even in India, we see the Western influences. Even the program "Who Wants to be A Millionaire" itself is a product from America.

The British director, Danny Boyle is amazing because he manages to capture the essence of an Indian movie and incorporate it into one that is "Oscar worthy". I dunno the real definition of Oscar worthy but in my opinion, a movie that is accepted, recognised and admired by the Americans. I mean, the Academy Awards, is grand because of the Americans. It's like a huge thing to win an Oscar, and to even be nominated is already huge. And sometimes, your movie can be crap but if it has anything to do with the Oscars, people would perceive it as good. You may not like a movie and find it boring, but if it has win an Oscar, you'd doubt that you yourself has no taste in movies because you don't get an award winning movie.

Anywayz back to Slumdog Millionaire. I think the director is really successful. I envy that a British director actually knows how to maintain the Indian feel in his movie, without even using cliche Bollywood techniques like dancing ard the bushes and stuff.

The storyline is arranged in an extremely creative way. Each question from "Who Ones to Be A Millionaire" will lead to a flashback of the main actor, Jamal's life and his childhood. I love it. The technique of narration is brilliant! I'm really impressed. I mean, I really find that movie makers are trying different techniques and styles when it comes to the incorporation of flashback scenes. Some are highly confusing, while some are simple, yet very cleverly done.

Slumdog Millionaire is actually a very normal story about the struggles in a young Indian boy's life. But again, with it's editing and the way of its unique time and space arrangements make the movie a great one.

Cinematography - amazing. Beautiful colours that highlights the vibrant Indian cultures but also suitable tones were used to describe the adversities and poverty of the citizens of India. The transitions between scenes were also very nicely done and it connects it scene in a very smooth way.

The actor and actress are pretty...not necessarily superstars in Hollywood, but able to capture and deliver the script. I wouldn't say their performances are outstanding, the lead actress wasn't that impressive to be honest, but she's pretty in her own natural way. The lead actor too. I love the fact that they are just simple, normal day, average-like people.

The ending was one of the most beautiful and touching moments i've ever seen. Sometimes, a love scene or romantic scene do not require much. In fact, it doesn't need to involve steamy scenes. It just makes the movie cheap I think.

A focus on the way the actors look at each other and with the right music that creates the atmosphere, the scene would be one that melts hearts. The ending was beautiful. You feel the happiness for that couple, you feel the joy of being loved yourself. I seldom cry when the couples end up living happy ever after, but "Slumdog Millionaire" managed to make me shed a tear or two. It's the realness of the affection between the two lead characters and alleviated by the company of some really heart-felt music.

I'll end by saying this: "SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE" is a must watch!!

-Tammy C-

CHRISTIANITY DAY

2009-03-01T14:25:00.004+08:00

28-Feb-09

I met up with an old friend today - Kerry. I barely him in primary school even though we've been classmates since standard 4. I just remembered him as my competitor in class, the one to defeat in studies. I remembered him as the blur genius, the guy who was always skipping class but brilliant. He is the couldn't-care-less about what's going on around him but still excel in class. He's slowness and blurness were what me and all my friends laughed about last time.

I guess sometimes the memory you have of a person makes you expect that person to be the same again. It's like you wish that that person was the same person you knew 10 years ago so that you can really relive that time.

But the thing is, some people change and Kerry of all old friend that i met, has changed the most. Even me, i guess, has changed a lot from what he expected me to be. I think he still thought i am that soft-spoken, quiet, shy little innocent girl that i used to be. I guess he was shocked that i am that noisy and expressive.

For me, suddenly Kerry is that super-duper religious guy, who is so zealous about Christianity. He is also now super-duper responsible and polite. It makes me look bad haha.

I admire his enthusiasm but i just feel that he oversold his beliefs in Jesus and he scares me a bit haha. Today's meeting with him brought me to his church and meeting his friends in church. Of course a lot of the conversation were on Christianity and Jesus. He and his other friend Kah Lok were discussing with me stuff about Jesus and Christianity.

I have nothing against Christianity or in fact, any religion. It's even something that i'm very interested in finding out just for the sake of knowing extra stuff. However, for the time being, I am not planning to accept Christ and believe so whole heartedly. I'm not there yet. I'm in the process and I want to take it slow and discover myself because if it's you yourself who experience it and find out, you'll treasure it more.

I know my friends and family who share with me their God cares about me, and i appreciate that, but i just wish that they don't over do it that it pressures me. I am really useless because i really don't know how to respond.

I have my own set of beliefs about God and religion. I have nothing against all good religion as long as i know that that religion preaches kindness and goodness. I would say, i believe in a combination of all religions.

I guess that is where we differ. They have found Jesus and felt that it is the right path, the truth. I believe in some of Buddha's teachings. See, i say some. Because I don't agree with all of Buddha's teachings. And I'm not afraid to say that and I know that they won't be consequences, I won't go to hell.

Because Buddhism, I believe, is a teaching, a subject. For example, Science or History. If you don't believe in some theory of Science, you don't go to hell right?

And what i agree with Buddhism is Buddha doesn't want us to attach ourselves to him. We don't have to label ourselves as 'Buddhist', even though in Malaysia we have to lar. This is because, we can call ourselves Buddhist but not practice buddhism. Like you can call yourself Muslims, but if you don't fast during Ramadhan or pray, then what are you? Still a Muslim?? It's just a label.

Buddhism say belief and accept anything that is good, righteous. My friends say, "So what is good then? Buddha doesn't tell you. Buddha talks about achieving 'Nirvana', and then tells you it is impossible cuz there are too many rules to follow."

For me, that's when Wisdom comes in. "Wisdom" is another teaching of Buddhism. "Wisdom" surpasses intelligence. For me, I feel there's no such things as right and wrong don't you think? There's such a fine line. How to define? Although sometimes, black and white, right or wrong is easy to define by consensus, but there are things whereby it's so hard to say due to the circumstances.

For example, I stole from this really rich guy. Am i wrong? But then I stole because I don't have the money to buy food for my starving 9 siblings. And that rich guy, he doesn't help the poor and the amount i stole might not even have an impact in his life but have a huge impact on mine. Maybe my actions are not wrong. Not right, but not wrong either I'd say.

So, we use our wisdom to judge the situation. That's what i believe. If i have to make an equation:

WISDOM = COMPASSION (LOVE) + SITUATION (REASON) + INTELLIGENCE + JUSTIFICATION

So if your wisdom tells you tat believing Jesus is right, then, go for it...believe in Jesus and God and Christianity. My thinking is....if you have wisdom, you'll know that Christianity is the right choice because of the teachings so you believe and have faith and be a good role model. How do you know Christianity is good? - WISDOM. It links. Like i say, i feel that Buddhism is more like a subject. You can learn Buddhist values but still be a Christian. There might be things that contradicts in the two religions or teachings, but once again, it all boils down to WISDOM.

I agree with my dad when he says, you really don't have to over-preach some things. Just be good, practice what you believe in and the world shall judge. If you present yourself well and people will know, they'll be impressed and would then try to learn from you. Indirectly you influence people.

To be honest, i might not have delved enough in Buddhism and the teachings but from what i've heard and understand from it, I agree.

Buddha is not a God but I do believe in Gods and heaven. I believe that there's someone out there looking out for me in every way. I just don't know who haha. But i also believe in Karma. And Jesus, I don't believe in yet. Like I say, i'd take my time to find out for myself who to believe or what to believe.

I mean, i can say for sure after today's meeting, i found out that we are completely two very very very very different people with very few things in common. The things that i enjoy and like, he doesn't get. But overall, he is still a very nice chap. And i did like how we reminisce the past, our school friends and all.

But I did enjoyed the outing with him. I met a lot of his friends, who are UM grads whom i really love hanging out with. We had dinner at his friend's hostel, in which his friend, Hew Ling, cooked for us. She is definitely a good cook and i can see that she and her friends spent a lot of time on the presentation of the food itself. It was beautiful. I met some other girls which i absolutely enjoyed talking to. The one that i like the most that night was Wai Sam. She's so so sweet and there's just this elegance about her that captures me. But I'm straight okay! It's just that i feel that chemistry when i talked to her. Usually, I know the kinda people I could really hang out with. It's like the moment you see them or greet them, there's this connection. I've felt like this with YY, Huey Ning and Yean Fun, even Ah Chin and all of them are my bestest buddies.

Wai Sam is like those really nice, motherly friend that you know would make a good wife. I told Kerry that she's the kinda girl I really like but wouldn't become. And I truly think that that kinda girl would be the perfect match for him haha....

Well after all that's said today, I just want to share my point of view and do not wish to offend anyone. I just feel that i don't get a chance to say what i really think about the whole day and this is a way that i feel that i can let go haha....Throughout today, i just feel that i have to really 'jaga' my words and my attitude. I am myself but not completely myself. Icannot swear or say bad words (or blurt out lame and dirty jokes) in front of them cuz they are like so holy haha....and i'm just so ...the opposite haha...

Being with Kerry and his church buddies and all the students from UM makes me think of my own college buddies and how i missed college so much. I saw his girl friends together in hostel, cooking together, chatting and I thought about YY, Lydia and me in the hostel. Doing what we do best, crapping and hanging out in mamak. I went out today trying to reminisce my childhood years and i end up reminiscing also my 4 years of college life and my affectionate college friends that i've grown to love.

I guess my coursemates have all made me the crazy person i am today and secretly, i couldn't think of any other people whom i'd love to have spend my college years with. They are the best and most enjoyable bunch of people i've ever known. Of course there are times of disagreement with all of them but overall, i think i can always be myself when i'm with them.

So, no matter how disgusting this might sound haha....I love you guys, ABC 2 ;P

Wat i'm doing now? Well calling YY on the phone...we have loads to catch up on

tammy c the awesomist...

2009-02-26T20:22:00.003+08:00

After weeks of hibernation...today finally an outing!

The Hong Kong Film Festival!

Honestly, now i feel stupid that i did not want to go at first.

I've never really been a fan of Chinese movies. Once again, i do not like to raise the issue of ethnicity here, but being a Chinese, i am actually considered quite a traitor to the Chinese film industry. I think it has actually been more than 10 years since i last watch a Hong Kong film in the cinema. And honestly, i don't even bother watching any of them. Why?

Mainly for 2 reasons. First, i'm usually not attracted to the casts and even if i am, i don't have that urge to watch the movie because secondly, i just don't like the storyline of chinese films. I just find Hong Kong films fake and boring, maybe because i am influenced by my perception of TVB dramas.

Besides, i love movies that i can relate to and even though i'm an Asian, I find it hard to relate to the characters in Hong Kong movies. I guess I am in some ways "westernized".

I used to be a fan of Hong Kong TVB dramas, but as the years passed, TVB dramas aren't that attractive anymore. The plots are repetitive and predictive. Every drama is almost the same and i got tired of them. I got more interested in shows like "Desperate Housewives", "Ugly Betty", "Supernatural", "Heroes" to name a few.

Some of my favourite stars like Gallen Law, Chan Miew Ying has disappeared together with creative storylines.

Therefore, i always equate Hong Kong films with TVB dramas, which i guess shouldn't be the case.

So back to today's film preview. I guess today opened my eyes to another side of the Hong Kong film's industry. I just never gave them a chance i guess.

I told my best friend that I don't think I want to go since i was so lazy to even register. Sometimes, that's the beauty of having a good bestie around. They can convince you haha. She is right when she say, why not go check it out. We can definitely learn something. Lazy people like me really need motivators like this. And i didn't regret the decision to go even though today was a long tiring day for me.

"A Decade of Love"

10 short films in 1 package.

Honestly, the title alone is meaningful. I believe more so for Hongkies. It's like a tribute and a show of love for their country, after more than a decade of freedom from the British colonization. All the movies revolved around a theme - LOVE. DIFFERENT TYPES OF LOVE.

Of the 10 movies, only a few caught my attention.

The first on was "Red Eggs on the Road". I'd say it is actually my favourite to watch.

The title of the movie alone is intriguing. The story is simple. It's about reliving old memories, making new ones, reminiscing old ones.

It started with a taxi driver asking for the contact of his ex-teacher. He wanted to give his teacher 2 'red eggs'. Distributing 'red eggs' is a Chinese tradition to welcome a new born baby, in case you don't know. And if you know better than I do about the red eggs tradition, you can also update me haha.

Anywayz, he helped a man from America locate his old friend who once lived in "Cross Street". I guess the "Cross" in the street name also symbolizes that place as the place where the lives of two people entwined. The taxi driver then also manage to find his old teacher and he sat there with his teacher reminiscing the school days.

I guess that would be how I would feel 20 or 30 or 40 years down the road. I'd want to search for those happy moments again - fond moments i had with the people i loved and enjoyed spending time with. You meet different people everyday but there are only a handful of them that can leave a strong impression on you. There are only a few that can make your life seem worth living. Facing a world of challenges would wear you down and i guess that's why people are always trying to relive the happiest moments in their life.

It is amazing how this short short film can actually provoke these thoughts in me. The story is not complicated, in fact, it's like just a short clip, with a few lines, and yet, the message is in-depth and strong. It combines the themes of friendship, love and basically, life - the search in life to feel that love, that affection, that friendship and that moment that you once had again.

The title of the next film i forgot, but i only remember this quote "There is not enough space in this world for dreams".

Take a moment to ponder on the quote...

True, isn't it? Sometimes, all we need is just a dream to go through another day, because dreams are limitless.

The setting of this story is a hospital. But it is filmed in a complex....with a wide space and some particians. The doors are fake, and most of the setting is like make believe. Sound effects are added to enhance the setting.

Funny as it may be to have such a weird setting but i think it correlates to the theme of "dream".

The story revolves around a mother who has a son who is in comma for 10 years. She is on the verge of giving her son up. She pleads to the doctor, telling him that she has no hopes left. No signs of her son ever gaining consciousness and she is disheartened.

The doctor then told her a lie, telling her that there are still brain activities recorded by her son even under comma. This means that her son still has dreams. His outlook, why give up someone that still has dreams?

What the doctor is doing is, he is giving the mother something to dream on - a hope would be a better term to describe it. Sometimes we need dreams to move on or maybe a lie to live on. I believe that. In some ways, it might not be a healthy way to live...depending on how you see it, but maybe that is something we need sometimes.

If we don't 'lie' to ourselves that tomorrow will be a better day, how do we go through a rough day? If we don't tell ourselves that by working hard we'll make it on day, how do we find the strength and motivation to carry on? We'll never know the future, but all we can have the dream of the future, and we can picture it anywhere we want. So why not make ourselves happy and beautify the dream?

A dream could be interpreted as HOPE or a LIE. The doctor said he told her a lie. I choose to see it as a hope. A hope for something better, a faith that things would turn up the positively for everyone. I always dream. I'm an idealist. I always believe things would turn out optimisticly. Boy, many times i've been let down...but i kept believing. I don't know why.

The movie say "There is not enough space in this world for dreams."

I have 2 interpretations of this quote.

You can always continue believing...there's no horizon, no boundaries. Maybe one day you'll stop believing in something, but then you'll start believing in some other things.

A dream is as big as you imagine or picture it. There is no limit. So dream....reach for the stars. BELIEVE IN THE WILDEST DREAMS!

And like David Cook sings in his song "Dream Big":

"Now if you don't dream big, what's the point of dreaming, and if you don't have faith, there's nothing worth believing, it takes one hope to make the stars worth living for, so reach out for something more."

I guess this would be the perfect theme song for that short movie.

Towards the end of this short film, it seems that the doctor's wife is also in a comma and he himself is hoping that his wife would one day be awake again. Well, in other words, i guess the film is trying to convey that everyone is living on a dream. And sometimes, we remind one other the dreams or the lies to push each other forward in life. Giving hope or lying to ur loved ones? The movie lets you decide.

This one I'd say is the MOST MEANINGFUL among the other entries.

"THE BID"

Probably the one i laughed at at the beginning of the movie because i find it ridiculous. But you know what, i ended tagging it as one of my favourite. haha...

It started of with a hot, supermodel looking actress, Ada, bidding for something online. Then we see her realizing her bid and successfully own her 2 sculptures entitled "The Desire Series" for like $50,000. My best friend's remarks whenshe saw that scene made that part hillarious....she said if she had bought that home, her mum would kill her with it. I couldn't agree more. I mean, $50,000 for 2 pieces of junk? It's like a few wood planks entangled in one haha....but then again, what do we know about art right? We only know how to eat.

Then in the next scene we see her sms-ing another girl, Mary (also supermodel looking), talking about a guy, Alex. Alex dated both of them and even though at first both of them seems to want nothing to do with him, later, both of them were seen fighting over this guy.

We see that Alex then asked Ada out and Ada bragged to Mary. Therefore, during another auction, both of them battle for the 3rd sculpture in the Desire series collection.

So the battle for Alex continues. Alex then told Ada he needs 3 million. I was half paying attention then but i know that the money will help him escape jail. So we see the girls then bid for Alex. There's no ending. We don't know if Ada made a higher offer than Mary.

What I see is a useless guy and two confused girls. That jerk is a real....*beep*. And those 2 girls, COME ON!! I MEAN...they are hot, gorgeous, beauty beyond recognition and rich some more. Why do they even have to go for that guy, who is not even that hot to start with? Okay, if we look beyond the physical attraction (ahem...as i always do hehe) he is not exactly the guy who is that charming. It is so obvious that he is using the girls for his own benefit. If i were them, i'd forget the minor grudge we have and combine forces to get back at that idiot. Then compete on other things if they want to.

The ending however got me going...."I got it!" The 3 sculptures each represent a desire human has in life. Sadly, too fast and i didn't catch all of the three desires. I only saw wealth...i guess the guy was love. but i'm sure EGO is one of the desires too.

Basically i guess that whole movie just want to convey the fact that people go through means to chase certain desires in life. To some it might be crazy, (like me) but for others, it is something they do in life. I guess sometimes if there is no desires, there won't be goals in life.

My three desires - happiness, happiness and happiness...if there's no happiness, how do you get on with life? What motivates you rite?

"Open Rice" - a direct translation of the chinese word "hoi fan" meaning...let's begin the feast, let's start eating or it could also mean making a living.

I like this one too. It sums up life as a whole. I agree with one of the audience in the cinema who pointed out that "Open Rice" is the summary of the whole 10 movies. She was asking that as a question but in my opinion, i think so. This film is the last in line. And it is about a family. How siblings deal with issues and how they complain about their parents.

In the end, their parents solved all their problems for them and taught them the important value of sticking together as a family. They have a point when they say: "When parents nag you, you find them annoying. When they do not care and ask less, you say they don't care about you. So what do you want actually?" Even i don't know. I guess, just ask the right questions haha...

In the end i guess this movie show that we have to be filial to our parents...that's important...a family that stick together can go through almost anything.

Overall, there were all good ones but these are a few memorable ones that i remember.

Update u guys soon k??

With love,

tammy the awesomist

p.s. VOTE FOR C. RICHARDSON TO PERFORM IN KL PLZZ

2009-02-23T14:28:00.003+08:00

BLIND

When you're blind,
You draw no line of segregation,
And have a different type of illumination,
And beauty has another definition.

You see through the heart,
The kindness of the soul,
That's the important part,
When you feel you'll know.

When you're blind,
People just don't come and go,
The kind and good ones you'll know,
You'll cherish them, bonds will grow,
Outer beauty then becomes superficial,
What's inside prevails.

Some people thinks blindness is an imperfection,
Others choose to see it as a realization,
And remember you're still God's creation,
And God always provides hope and affection

Seeing is just not with the eyes,
But sometimes also with the sense of touch,
What you feel inside,
Maybe we shouldn't just see,
But look beyond

Maybe blindness isn't black,
It could be brightness from the start,
Maybe one doesn't grope in the dark when blind,
But sees the truth in the 'light'

Sometimes I might be blind,
Like how i misunderstood the kind,
I just might not realize it,
Because blindness is just a word,
And we choose how to define it
I guess
All we need is just faith.

By Tammy C

100 stupid things...

2009-02-23T02:16:00.002+08:00

Just for fun and becuz i'm darn bored!

001. Real name → Mun Yi the awesomist..hehe

002. Nickname(s)→ none ...except the occasional monkey...
(where's number 3?)

004. Zodiac sign → leo..the self-centered n berlagak one hehe

005. Male or female → female

006. Elementary → Mariaville is a joyful place..where we ...bla bla forgot the school song

007. Middle School → Ho Seng Ong (M)! Yay!! Bersatu Teguh, bercerai roboh, kita hidup lah bersama-sama, ingat selalu bekerjasama itulah cara berjaya...sekolah bergantung padamu, negara bergantung padamu, jadi rakyat setia, cara hidup yang bahagia! WAO I REMEMBER!!!!!!!!

008. High School → MGS...i completely forgot..opps! Shout all hail for the methodist girls' school, shout it loud and strong...something like tat...sorry...

009. College School --> TUNKU ABDUL RAHMAN COLLEGE!!! YAY!!!

010. Hair color → black

011. Long or short → long

012. Loud or Quiet → depends haha

013. Sweats or Jeans → both

014. Phone or Camera → phone

015. Health freak → Never

016. Drink or Smoke? → Never

017. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope haha except maybe Chris Richardson

018. Eat or Drink → Both lar duh-uh haha

019. Piercings → dun even talk abt it! had it once...but...long story short...infection

020. Tattoos → nvr

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → ears

024. First best friend → wah! i'll go with Lee Sook Chin

025. First award → wah! can't remember...some maths competition...

026. First crush → lol...someone in camp...i guess it was a crush..i dunno

027. First pet → fishes .. i wont consider them pets even haha...we werent tat attached haha

028. First big vacation → hmmm...to singapore i guess...

030. First big birthday → no idea...all my bdays are big haha...at least in my heart

CURRENTLY :

049. Eating → air

050. Drinking → water

052. I'm about to → sleep?

053. Listening to → Mistletoe - Colbie Caillat

054. Plans for today → PORT DICKSON!

055. Waiting for → PORT DICKSON!!

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? → 2 Capri and Caspian Richardson haha

059. Want to get married? → if i'm destined to

060. Careers in mind → successful in wateva i get myself into haha

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE?
068. Lips or eyes → i'd say the smile so i guess related to the lips ?

070. Shorter or taller? → Tall!

072. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous more than romantic

073. Nice stomach or nice arms → chris has nice arms haha

074. Sensitive or loud→ a bit of both

075. Hook-up or relationship → RELATIONSHIP

076. Trouble maker or hesitant → trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts → dun wear them...

081. Ran away from home → haha...no

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → no

083. Killed somebody → killed multiple mosquitoes n cockroaches ...

084. Broken someone's heart → nope...;P i'm nice!!!

085. Been arrested → nope

087. Cried when someone died → yea my grandpa

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → At times

090. Miracles → Yeah...i'd like to

091. Love at first sight → nvr happened in my life be4 so i dun think so

092. Heaven → i guess

093. Santa Claus → NO!

094 Tooth Fairy→ NO!

095. Kiss on the first date → depends how it went

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → sigh..not really lar...i'm so worried abt my future now that i just dun wanna think of who i wanna be with rite now..maybe i just wanna be with myself and my music and movies...

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Yeah

099. Do you believe in God → Yeah..

HSO Memories...

2009-02-22T21:59:00.003+08:00

Ups and downs...that's life i guess

Just had a short, silent argument with dad...
I know it'll happen soon enough...
It has to happen. I've been lazing around for too long and i know dad can't take it anymore. he's been complaining to my mum abt me in particular...

I hate arguments with dad because, either i can never say wat i want to say because i'm scared or i just can't think of how to counter him...not because i'm scared but rather i can't structure my points fast enough to reason with him...

So wat happened was i didn't read newspapers...my dad just asked me abt some water concessionaire issue in Selangor and i didn't know about it. I have no excuse except that i am not interested.

Dad said i have no excuse now that i have the internet access and meaning access to online newspapers. Well i'm sorry if i'm not interested in hard news. I prefer to visit sites like Galaxie Blogs and read about upcoming movies and celebrity gossips. He always wants me to benefit from the Internet...yea i do, but in my own ways...

Dad asked me what am i interested in then? He sounded sarcastic and i hv to admit i was fuming at that time. I just don't want to answer that because everyone knows what i've been doing for the past few weeks in front of my laptop...watching movies, watching movies, watching movies...watching movies....watching Boy Meets World, blogging...

i just stunned and just simple blurted out stuff which i dun even remember...

Then he added that he was asking me a direct question and not a sarcastic question. To me, it is very sarcastic. Plus, cut me some slack! I just like the things i like. I dun wanna force myself reading the star online if i dun want to. With all due respect, he wouldn't like it to if i ask him to read about Hollywood stars rite...

Well if i ask him about the latest movie in hollywood or the latest britney's single, he wouldn't know rite?

i know that knowing abt current issues is important but then again...i'm just more into trivial stuff...i get current news here n there...n if i find the interest, i'd read it....but if i dun, i cant do it...

i really try to read the star online, especially when pressured by him. Just so that i can have some decent talk with him but nothing enters when foorce

I dunno. Sometimes, i just feel that the way dad teases people makes ppl nervous and sometimes offended. It's not like he's joking...cuz sometimes i dun get his jokes and doubt if they are jokes. we are really different.

We have different interests....i dun think my dad knows what i really love. or maybe it's my fault i dun share it. but then again...when i talk abt Colbie Caillat's music or taylor swift's lyrics...what do i expect him to say? When i talk about "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" or my fave movies, wat do u think i'll get? He just doesn't see things the way i do. I love analyzing movies and i dun think my dad thinks that that is even important.

I mean, i love my dad. He's a great man but as much as i tried to open up to him, there are still stuff with i can't you know. There is still a distance. I can be very honest in some things but not in all things. With my parents, i still feel that there are things that i can't tell them. Things i can maybe share with my siblings and friends but not them because i dont feel that they can understand what i think and i just want to hear less nagging. They won't agree anyway. If i have to learn a lesson, maybe i'll have to learn the hard way.

Maybe i'll be punished one day and my kids will treat me the same way i treat my parents. But i really hope that i could be like Lorelai Gilmore...i wanna be my kids closest buddies you know...

anywayz...it's not all bad lar..

yesterday...suddenly i got an email from a long lost friend haha... yea i can't believe it myself because he's like the least likely guy who would contact me or any of my other friends...

Mr. Kerry Thong Yu Kit, or like we used to call him....Kerry Thong Sampah suddenly emailed me out of no where...
n today it's like a Ho Seng Ong day for me ..cuz suddenly...i just bumped into all my primary school friends on9...
suddenly i realized that Ho Seng Ong - HSO is like similar to HSM?? High school Musical haha

A lil history and a remisnicence of my primary school life...
i seldom talk abt my primary school (cuz i believe no one really cares) but i had loads of fun during those times...much more than my secondary in fact...
no problems...no worries...it was all free n happy moments for me...
even as a prefect...i was naughty...haha
i was supposed to discipline others but i was part of the undiscipline gang haha

i was ..erm...quite studious i hope haha...but i was a very shy girl in HSO haha...
and kerry was my number one competitor...he's always top in class even though he always skips school
defeating him in tests n marks was my goal...
i just dun like seeing a boy be the smartest haha...typical kids lar...

my best friend then was Evon Tan...also class monitor..hot babe...
she also studied in TARC for 2 years, studying fashion design...
when we were in primary school...our dreams were to be fashion designers...
she pursued it...i went on with something else..yea where i am now...mass comm...lol

but i still rmb those times we had...collecting spice girls pix n posters...forming our own spice girls fan club...performing as spice girls...OMG!

then we have our own spice girls paper dolls, which we draw ourselves...then we would design clothes for them n stuff...it was really really fun. REALLY REALLY FUN..

then we would tease each other...like i'd tease my best friend and her asst. monitor, Krishnan...also not to mention her and Jason Wong were in my list of the most perfect couple last time...y?? let's see

Jason was ahem fat n round (but not anymore haha..wat a waste)....Tan is slim and thin
Jason was short...Tan is tall
Jason was born in December...Tan was born in January...
Jason wears specs...Tan doesn't

They are completely different from on other which made them perfect for each other....lol
but that was then lar...

Time has passed and we've all changed...

Tan is doing fashion design now in Kajang...
Jason in UTAR studying broadcast comm ...course mates with some of my previous TARC mates..
Kerry now in UTAR doing actuarial science...same uni as my bro...
and Sook Chin!! haha another friend of mine, who happens to be hui hsien's close friend in highschool is studying medicine...
THE WORLD IS SO SMALL!
n me...just being me haha...

i guess wat i really found out today is how much we've all grown up and change since primary. I'd like to believe that i've become more confident and more outspoken abt how i feel. I believe all my friends are like that too...

Kerry as i remember wasn't tat chatty...i guess i nvr really talk to him in class lar since he's so shy...except the occasional ejekan...tat's y hearing from this dude was a complete SHOCKER! lol

Catching up with all of them today just reminds me of all those happy kiddy moments that i'll never get relive back but shall always be imprinted in my heart...

Even my college years...i know i'll be forever grateful to have met the people i've met in life....each meeting happens for a reason...so today i guess i'm feeling really grateful for everything that have happened in my life, good or bad...

I was sad earlier but i guess things turned out pretty good at the end, as it always does...

;P

MORE MORE MORE CRAP

2009-02-17T10:59:00.008+08:00

Well let me start this instalment with movies i do not enjoy...

A GOOD YEAR
starring Russell Crowe and Marion Contillard

Do you love the French cultures and accent and French babes? You love love stories?? If yes then maybe this is a movie for you.

Personally, I was fooled by the stars in this movie. I mean, RUSSELL CROWE AND MARION CONTILLARD! I kinda like both of them. Russell's movies are usually very good and Marion is just one gorgeous chick that I happen to like. So a combination of them is like Sushi and wasabi, but maybe not as delicious.

Anywayzzzzzzz, I can't say i like the movie at all. It was a total drag for me. Romantic but boring in some ways and I just don't get the whole point of the movie. There is a meaningful message in the movie but i just feel that it is not accentuated enough. I was left untouched at the end of it.

I believe that the movie is trying to convey that sometimes, winning is not everything. Money is also not everything. Sometimes, love and the simplicity of life is what truly matters. Yes, i get that but the delivery is not substantial enough. I find the whole movie a drag.

Basically the story tells of Russell Crowe who is a guy who is all about WINNING. He is good in his job and he use cunning tactics to make money. He is in the share market industry so erm...it's hard to explain...it's like he will make the prices go up by buying the shares and then suddenly sell everything. So the shares price will drop because other ppl will all panic and start selling all their shares at a lower rate. Then Russell will buy back the shares at a lower price. Something like what George Soros did, which caused the 1997 Economic Crisis. I'm not good at explaining how the share market works but my dad is darn good at it. So, contact him haha...

Okayz,,,anywayz my point is that this Russell in the movie is making big money for his company. Suddenly his uncle, who took care of him since he was young passed away. His uncle left him the vineyard and a beautiful mansion in France, in which Russell grew up in. Russell then has to fly to France to settle the legal procedures in order to officially own the house. He plans to sell the whole house and vineyard, and therefore selling away all his childhood memories he has of that place. Besides, causing his uncle's long-time and loyal worker his job at the vineyard.

The movie consists of flashbacks of his childhood with his uncle, flashbacks of some of the advices his uncle gave him. For example, Russell Crowe's character is all abt winning and making money. His uncle would say, there is more to be learned when you lose than when you win. But of course, don't repeat the same lost.

I must say, i like the advice. Reminds me of my dad's principle. When we get our marks for our test, my dad doesn't look at the marks, but whether or not we've learnt from the mistakes we make. He hates careless mistakes, but other justifiable mistakes, he loves. He always say, he loves the red colours on our test papers because it shows learning opportunities. That's why, everytime i get my test papers, i'm not worried about confronting the marks i get, but rather, did i make GOOD mistakes. But then again who am i lying, of course i also want high marks. WHO DOESNT? haha

So of course as the story develops, Russell, after spending one week in the mansion finally realizes what is truly important. Plus, he met a girl he love and that's where Marion Contillard comes in, no surprises there.

I guess Russell in the end realizes that making money is not as important as having a HOT girlfriend hehehe...

Watch this movie only if you are in for some romance. Even that, i don't think you'll be head over heels over the movie. Well, just my opinion. My bro thought "A GOOD YEAR was "A GOOD" Movie...well, i always thought he was 'gay' haha...

DISASTER MOVIE
starring Matt Latner and Vanessa Milano

DISASTER MOVIE is really a DISASTEROUS MOVIE!

Except the fact that Matt Latner is super duper extra bonanza galanza whatever HOTTTTTTTTT...the whole movie is RUBBISH! I repeat RUBBISH!!!!!

How stupid can one movie be?? Well watch DISASTER MOVIE...you'll know. I think the producers of the show already know it's a disaster and therefore named it DISASTER MOVIE.

Thank God I was drooling over Matt Latner.It sort of helped divert my anger and frusfration and also motivated me to actually finish watching the whole movie.

After watching 'DISASTEROUS' MOVIE, I became terrified of some of my most favourite characters, like Juno and the cute chipmunks...can you believe it? I dunno why but the way the movie portrayed these characters make me afraid of them. Now Alvin, Simon and THeodore are like scary chipmunks with rabbies that would bite you to death. Juno or Juney in DISASTEROUS Movie is like Juno, but with a whole lot of crap and no sense of humor. And Juney died tragically by the way...attacked by the chipmunks. See! They ruined my favourite characters in just one scene. RIDICULOUS....now everytime i see Ellen Page as Juno, i just can't get that chipmunk chomping of her backbone scene....ARGH!

If you are like me, you like Juno and the chipmunks...be prepared! The other characters like Jessica simpsons, Hancock, Amy Winehouse are also incorporated but not aptly. Sometimes, you don't even know what sense it made to actually have them there. Well, maybe lame spoofs like this is just not my kinda movie.

Okay now that i've got all the dreadful movies out of my lungs...let's positivize (a new word which i invented..one sec ago) ourselves with some movies which i like....or GREAT MOVIES hehehe...

THE LUCKY ONES
starring Rachel McAdams as Colee, Tim Robbins as Fred, Michael Pena as T.K.

So if Tim Robbins ring a bell, that's because he is the star of "The Shawshank Redemption" and yes, "The Shawshank Redemption" is one of my fave movies....and i've talked about it before in previous post.

Okay so...when i saw the name Tim Robbins and Rachel McAdams (another one of my fave) i feel i have to watch this one even though after reading the synopsis, i wasn't that into the story.

So a brief synopsis...
3 soldiers
2 given a month's break due to injuries (Colee and T.K.)
1 finally finished his time with the army (Fred)

Each has a destination.
Fred - back home for good to his family and home made up of his beloved wife and son

T.K. - 1st to Vegas to get sex workers to try to heal the injury in his privates. Apparently his ahem...five letter word starting with a P, wouldn't work after he got shot at the area. That's y he got a break hehe...2nd...go visit his girlfriend, whom he can't let know about the 'private' injury
Colee - go to her dead boyfriend's family to return the guitar which her boyfriend claimed to be given to him by his father. she has no family to go back to since she has argued with her mum when she was younger. so she hopes that her boyfriend's family would accept her and let her stay with them

Their lives crossed each other's path on a plane and then embarked on a journey together when their next flight was delayed. Fred decided to rent a car in order to get home earlier to see his wife and the other two wanted to tag along so that they can take another flight from another airport. Fred agreed because then he would pay less for the car and gas.

Of course on the journey they got to know each other, get on each other's nerves...
Then when Fred got home, as expected, his wife wants a divorce. His wife is used to being independent and feels that she doesn't need Fred in her life anymore. He is already devastated by the news but suddenly his son, who still love him a lot told him that he made it to HArvard. with scholarship. GOOD NEWS! Yeah...but the scholarship only cover 50% of the tuition fees and that his father needs to come out with $20000 to register...if not the offer is gone.

Fred promised his son that he'll come out with the money. His two new buddies were worried that Fred might commit suicide in order to get insurance money so they decided to once again tag along with Fred, who decided to find his brother for help with the money. Of course they are a lot more stuff in the movie which i wished i could tell you but it doesn't make sense if i actually write the whole story out.

The movie has a lot of subtle comedic moments, or dry humor which did entertain me. In fact, it made me laugh quite a lot.

The storyline looks simple but the overall presentation of it is fresh. It is a story about self-discovery, friendship and life. Sometimes, you'll learn about yourself, life and others more in unlucky situations. And if you see it differently, to be there, to actually go through that experience, actually makes you THE LUCKY ONE. Thus, the title of the movie - The Lucky Ones.

I really really like this movie. It's simple yet quite entertaining. The ending is ...well, not like those happy-ever-after kinda ending. It leaves you thinking "well, life goes on no matter what".
Of course sometimes you get no satisfaction from a movie which ending is so normal. But that's life. It's surreal and I love it.

I'm not sure whether you guys agree with me on my take of the movie but i really think you should give this movie a chance. No action though. JUst a simple, laidback story but really sweet.

FRED CLAUS
starring Vince Vaughn as Fred Claus, Paul Giamatti as Nicholas (Santa) Claus and Rachel Weisz as Wanda

I totally can relate to this movie. Vince Vaughn portrays Fred Claus, who is always overshadowed by his little brother, Nick. His mother would always say to Fred, "Why can't you be more like your brother?"

Fred, who is upset because he doesn't get as much attention as his brother turned naughty in order to get his parents' attention and also to get on his bro's nerves. I do feel over-shadowed by my siblings most of the times and therefore I know how it feels to be Fred. It is true that sometimes we would purposely do rebellious things in order to get on the nerves of the people who makes you feel unappreciated. But Thank God i don't have it as bad as Fred.

Well, Nick grew up to be the kindest soul and became Santa Clauss while Fred...while is just Fred who hates Christmas and everything that reminds him of Santa. It is definitely tough for him because EVERYONE loves Santa and nobody cares about him.

As the story goes, Fred needs help from Nick in order to get $20000. So Nick, this time, instead of being soft-hearted had asked Nick to work for him in the North Pole and earn the money.

Later in the movie, i feel Fred taught Nick a very good lesson. Every year, i'm sure you guys know that Santa makes a "Naughty and Nice" list. Naughty kids do not get a present.

But Fred told Nick that there are no naughty kids. They are all good kids. Some kids are just misunderstood or unhappy. THey behave wildly maybe because of certain conditions in their life that we are not aware of. We just need to understand these kids a little more.

Overall, "Fred Claus" is definitely a heart-warming movie and definitely one that would make your Christmas. I did not watch it during the Christmas seasons but after watching it, i definitely feel the warmth of Christmas and also the warmth of having a family.

Well, this is where I leave you ...I have "So You Think You Can Dance 2" on the TV right now. Not really watching it but some parts of it are quite interesting....some dances are good.
Anywayz all the best people...and i have to prepare for the market tomorrow.

With love,
Tam-me the awesomist...;P

AN UNJUST LAW IS NO LAW AT ALL

2009-02-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

Plenty of time these days... i'm not complaining, but seriously, I'm rotting and almost covered in dust. I'm bored but i just can't motivate myself to do something beneficial you know. I feel useless and unmotivated. I guess this is what holidays to do lazy people like me. The only thing i'm motivated to do is...haha...download movies and so, i've been watching a lot of movies to fill up my extra time before preparing again for lessons, which I hate to say, right now, something i'm really looking forward to. (I know in a few months time, i'll be yet again complaining.)

Racism is an issue that i'm sure many of you have a say in. In Malaysia, one of the main issues discussed and politicized is definitely the issue of race. I'd like to think that there are not many racist fights in Malaysia. But maybe that would make me very ignorant because I heard there are, but I chose not to believe most of them. I don't know. Newspapers do not cover news or stories like this, no, but they cover it up. So what should I believe?It is so sad and I do feel that racism is an issue that should concern us all - does the colour of our skin matter?

I'd consider myself a non-racist, yeah, that's just me saying. But what actually defines a non-racist??

As the world advances, it's funny to actually see that people classifying other people's action by the colour of their skin. For example, Chinese are always equated as very calculative and business-minded. Very sorry and what I say here is just an example, Malays are known for their laziness and Indians, for being the community that are poor and therefore, most criminals are of the Indian race. Everytime we hear of a robbery or theft, the first thing some people would ask is...what race? I mean, does it matter? If it's Indian or Malay, then there it goes..."Yealar...Indians and Malays are like that geh lar bla bla bla...." If the thief is Chinese....the conversation either end there or they would come out with excuses like bad times etc etc.

I was thinking, if this theory applies, then it would mean that there's no thief in China? I feel, just like I believe many of you guys out there who think like me, would know that a person who choose to steal or commit any crime for that matter does not does what he/she does because of the colour of their skin, but rather because of who they are, how they are raised and treated as a human being that leads them to their conduct.

To be fair, I have some really really darn hardworking Malay friends who strive their best to achieve success. And for them it's so unfair because no matter how they work, people will have that stereotype that they achieved it because of the help provided by our government. How sad!

I also have some really super cool and nice Indian friends who are the most polite and generous people in the world. And the last thing they'll be are criminals. Also, to make things clear, I really hate to be categorized as calculative and stingy.

We are who we are not because of the colour of our skin.
I'm glad that, if my observations are right, then I believe that Malaysians are getting more homogenized - we are more Malaysians than we are Malays, Chinese or Indians. Well, at least the urban citizens are.

I have a lecturer, whom i feel is a bit racist and i'm not mentioning who. The lecturer taught me way back in Diploma and as much as I agree with some things the lecturer says, I do believe that the lecturer is a racist and I just dislike that fact.

Once the lecturer asked the class..."What do you refer to yourself as (as in nationality) when in other countries?" I guess the lecturer was expecting a Malaysian-Chinese as an answer but the whole class proudly answered MALAYSIAN! If you ask me, this actually shows that we ourselves do not see ourselves by the skin colour but as a nation, which is a positive start.

The modern Malaysians are a mixed-up bunch, and our main medium of interaction is Manglish. We speak the Malaysian-style English, with additions of our own mothertongue. Malaysia should be heading that way, in which all races can be friends, like extremely close brothers and see no difference in skin colour.

I have a good friend, Doy, whom I met during my internship. She has been such a wonderful companion during my production days even though she only visits during weekends to meet her then boyfriend. She was basically the only girl there, my age who can relate to me. Okay, now i have to categorize her because she's a Malay but the times i've hanged out with her, i don't feel it.

We spoke perfectly good Manglish and had some really good moments, well, at least i have haha. Until suddenly we spoke of colleges and Universities. She asked me why didn't I go to local uni? She said that it's much cheaper. Well, of course...because for her, she's privilege.d She would most probably get the course of her choice, but I'm not sure if i'm that lucky. Of course we didn't argue, we just chatted normally about it and i realized that the only thing that sets us apart really, is the NEP, which benefits most the Bumiputeras. If only the NEP can really function as it is supposed to, and that is TO HELP ERADICATE POVERTY REGARDLESS OF RACE, then i believe that all Malaysians can move forward together, REGARDLESS OF RACE. In fact, what word is race again? Oh...you mean a contest of speed??

I was with my family in Pizza Hut a few years back and boy was we pissed when we saw on top of the bill a 'C' for Chinese. I mean, what? Are we now also categorized when we get food?? Maybe they expect us 'Chinese' to be a bit more penny-pinching when it comes to tips. Later we just shove the matter by thinking that it was just a marketing survey thingy they are doing. Still, we just feel that it wasn't the right thing to do.

SO AFTER THE MANY PARAGRAPHS OF USUAL CRAP...I WILL RELATE THE ABOVE TO THE FIRST MOVIE! haha

CRASH
starring a long list of brilliant stars....

Before i start, this movie, I wanted to watch a long time ago. I have really high expections becuz i've heard a lot of positive comments about it. I wasn't disappointed.

"Crash" has no conclusion. The conclusion is ...equate it to life. There will never be a direct conclusion when it comes to issues of racism and any other problems in life.

This movie is really interesting as it focuses on the lives of different characters and each character links to one another in some way. The main theme - RACISM, Blacks and Whites and Percians and Puerto Ricans and Koreans.

A few characters in the movie, like Sandra Bullock's and Matt Dillon's are racist. They do not trust Blacks or Latinos.

Sandra Bullock and her husband, played by Brendan Fraser was robbed by 2 Negros. She was angry and believes that it was right that she had been terrified of Blacks all along. She then also was adamant that his husband change the locks in their house again in the morning because the previous lock was fix by a Latino.

Matt Dillon's character molested a Negro lady in front of her husband because he was angry at another Negro lady who denied his father the required operation for his prostate problem. For one thing, Matt Dillon was very rude to that lady and has often angered her with his racist remarks. However later, Matt Dillon did save the very same Negro lady which he molested in a car crash.

The Negro lady molested by Matt Dillon was of course angry with her husband for not standing up for her. But you ask....what was the husband supposed to do? Matt Dillon is a cop with a gun. Plus whatever they do, the cop can frame them anyway. So the best is to apologize even though they were obviously not at fault. If you ask me, i have no idea which side to take. It's a dilemma. If i were the lady, i'd be mad too if my husband just stood there and watch me being 'handled' by another guy. But then again, if he doesn't apologize, we might not be able to get out of the situation. The lady was right when she said that she was humiliated. I'd be too...

Then there's Michael Pena's character who worked very hard for his family but was always stereotyped because he was a Latino. He was the one who fixed Sandra Bullock's house's lock. I really liked him here, in this movie. I've watched him in another movie "The Lucky Ones", but "Crash" made him one of my favourites. I especially love his relationship between him and his daughter.

But as much as i love him, i thought that the story he told her 5-year-old daughter is ridiculous and in fact dangerous to the little girl's. His daughter was afraid of bullets due to an earlier incident not shown in the movie. So in order to make her daughter less scared, he told her a story about the invincible cloak, not penetrable by any bullet or bombs. He said that this is a fairy's present and is to be passed on to his daughter when she is five. So he gave her the cloak.

So as i predicted, when Michael Pena was at gun-point, his daughter ran out to protect him since she is 'invincible'. The man fired at the daughter instead. If i had to blame anyone, i'd say it's his fault. I believe there are other better ways of convincing your daughter not to be afraid of bullets than telling her a lie that would endanger her.

Another part of the movie worth remembering was when Terence Howard (the negro whose wife was molested) told Ludacris (the Negro who stole Sandra Bullock's car) that he embarrassed all Negro. "You embarrassed me. You embarrassed yourself."

What one Negro does, indirectly makes other people stereotype other Negros. Racism...but sadly, it happens.

Another part was when Ryan Phillippe shot another Negro. He was convinced (because of stereotype again) that that guy was pulling out a gun, when in fact, he was just pulling out a figure of Mother Mary, if i'm not mistaken.

There are other issues involving stereotype in the movie that i can't really write all of them down. The best is to watch it because it involves so many characters.

Overall, don't expect any endings because that's not what life is all about. Storybook endings are only there to give us hope. Besides, stories never end because in life, problems come and go. The end shows the characters going on with life, most problems unresolved.

THE GREAT DEBATERS
starring Denzel Washington, Forest Whitaker

This is a movie based on a true story, more focused on the issues on the injustice faced by the Blacks back in the 1930s.

It is a story about how a professor, Melvin Tolson, of Wiley College, Texas, inspired his students to form a debate team, which later became the first Black debate team to challenge 'White' colleges and later, even went on to defeat the national champions, the Harvard University's Debate Team.

The Wiley College Debate team is made up of a few great members, but most the renown member is James Farmer Jr. This man later became one of the Big 4 leaders of the American Civil Rights movement and also founded the Congress of Racial Equity with a few of his students. Later he also initiated the "Freedom Rides" in which different races (the Blacks and Whites) traveled together in a bus and challenged segregated bus terminals. "Freedom Riders" were constantly attacked on the bus and there was one attacked which killed several of the Freedom Riders. And the Freedom Riders of course inspired the teacher, Erin Gruwell, and used it to teach her students. Hence, the start of the Freedom Writers - a movie i watched not so long ago.

In the movie, Jr. was still a 14-year-old. At first, not a good speaker but as usual, rise to the occasion at the end.

His winning speech is very beautiful...

The opponent:
"My father is a police officer...i rmb the day his best friend was gunned down in the line of duty. most vividly of all, i rmb the expression on my father's face. Nothing that erodes the rule of law can be moral, no matter what name we give it..."
James Farmer Jr. in reply:
"In Texas, they lynch Negros. My teammates and I saw a man strung up on the neck and set on fire...we drove and pressed our face against the floorboards. I looked at my teammates, and saw the look in their eyes. And worst, thei shame. What was it that this Negro crime, that he should be hung without trial? Was he a killer? Or just a negro?....Were his children waiting for him?... No matter what he did, the mob is the criminal. But the law did nothing...but just us wondering - why? My opponent says, nothing that erodes the law can bemoral. But there is no rule of law in the South, when the Negros are denied housing, turned away from schools, hospitals and not when we are lynched. Saint Augustine said, "an unjust law is not a law at all." Which means i have a right, even a duty, to resist, with violence or civil disobedience. You should pray I choose the latter."

Just like "Crash"...why do Negros, and in fact, anyone at all have to feel ashame of something, which is not even their fault. Why should they be ashamed of the color of their skin? Why should they be ashamed of being afraid of being lynched? Why should they apologize when it's not even their fault? Questions to ponder...

I truly agree..."An unjust law is no law at all". And as responsible citizens, we need to speak out and take responsibility for what we said. I admire most of the local opposition party leaders .I mean, sometimes, I might not agree with their sentiments, but it is their courage to speak up and take responsibility for the things they say that made them heroes. I mean, it's always easy to criticize the government, but doing it publicly and taking the consequences - that's truly admirable. I even more respect those who speak for justice and fight for human rights on a large scale. They put their lives out there. I crap a lot, but fighting for a cause at that scale, I'm not sure I could.

This is yet another inspiring story because there is a good ending to this one and the ending is TRUE! So no false hopes. ;P

Five more movies to go...but not now...maybe next time k...
- A good year
- Pride and Glory
- Disaster movie (is a disasterous movie)
- Fred claus
- The Lucky Ones

Take carezzz...
tammy the awesomist...

PERFECTION

2009-02-11T17:24:00.000+08:00

PERFECTION

There is no such thing as perfection,
There is only acceptance,
For what is perfect,
There's no answer,
And that's a fact.

You might think it's perfect,
Perfect it is, to you,
But not to me,
But maybe everyone ought to see beauty;
Beauty despite flaws,
Happiness despite sores,
Love despite hatred,
Light despite darkness.

There's always a different perspective in life,
A cup half empty or half full,
Someone brave or downright a fool,
A devastating failure or lesson learned,
You decide your own turn.

I choose not to seek "perfect"
For idealistic I am in fact

But have some wisdom in what you do,
Imperfection doesn't mean not giving you best,
Because no matter what you're going through,
On your laurels, you don't rest.

I believe there's no such thing as perfection in life,
Especially when it comes to your husband or wife,
For I guess some things should stay the same,
The beauty within should remain,
Focus on the good,
Disregard the bad,
And you'll see that all we ever wanted,
Is already in our hands.

By,
Tammy C
21-Nov-2008

"Perfect only in her imperfection"
- Beautiful Disaster, Jon McLaughlin

3 comedies, 1 brilliant actress, 1 extremely gorgeous actress, 1 hot guy and 1 new found comedian

2009-02-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

3 comedies, 1 brilliant actress, 1 extremely gorgeous actress, 1 hot guy, who’s sadly, younger than me and 1 new found comedian.

Okay, so since I’ve been quite down these few days, I’ve been circulating myself with comedies. In this instalment, it’s all about hillarious and funny movies that shall tickle your funny bones. At least I find them extremely amusing haha.

First up – “Juno”. A brilliant movie which starred a brilliant actress, Ellen Page.

Juno is such a fun movie. There are 2 things I love about this movie – the character, Juno herself, and the lines in the movie. The script is so superbly penned and the lines are funny and so clever. I heard from my cousin Doreen that it was written by a stripper, based on her friend’s characteristic. Well I think I already like her friend. Seriously, the lead in the movie, Juno, has this super cool character about her. I just love the way she does things and also how she talks. She’s so clever with words that most of the things she says might be simple, but she conveys it in a friggin’ hillarious manner.

The story of Juno is a really simple and boring one but what is so great about this movie is how it manages to turn a story that is overused and lacklustre into one that is good, if not fantastic. Everyone has watch movies or TV shows about how teenage girls get pregnant with their boyfriends’ baby and have to deal with their new life – “Wonderful Life” (Korean), multiple TVB and Taiwanese dramas and some other English flicks which I can’t remember exactly. Juno has the same story but what it did with the story was make the lines more interesting.

Juno had sex with her boyfriend, due to teenage curiousity I guess and got pregnant. So she had to break the news to her parents and her boyfriend plus deal with the gossips and talks of her mates in school. She’s only fifteen, right? She still has to go to school, even with a baby in her belly. So she wanted to go for abortion at first but later felt that she couldn’t do it. It was too cruel. So she instead settled for an alternative. Give the baby up for adoption. She then found Jennifer Garner and her husband – the perfect parents for her future baby. And then we watch in the movie the development of her pregnancy as well as her love with her boyfriend and father of the baby, Paulie Bleeker.

I guess Juno, like my cousin say, makes all single mums look super cool haha. Seriously, her couldn’t-care-less-with-what-kinda-s***-happens-in-my-life-but-I’ll-go-on attitude is really cool. And I also like her dad and her stepmom. They are such great parents, especially her stepmom. They are angry with their daughter, but they still are supportive. The whole family is very positive in life and that’s what makes them so cool.

Her mum, when she found out about her pregnancy said, “Somebody else is gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.” This is one of my favourite lines in the movie. Usually things which we don’t want might mean the world to other people.
Overall, the movie is a heart-warming one, with implicit educational and family values, that one would enjoy.

“Get Smart” stars the gorgeous Anne Hathaway and funny man, Steve Carrell. Anne Hathaway is just stunningly pretty and she’s one of my favourite actresses. Well, I liked her from “The Princess Diaries” and have been a fan since then.

Anyway back to “Get Smart”. This movie is super hillarious. I wasn’t really keen with the story though because it is predictable. Well, there were some parts which was pretty dull for me but the funny parts really had me laughing my “ahem” off, man! One of my favourite scene was when Anne Hathaway teaches Steve Carrell how to use his belt, which contains a pill that when swallowed, will cause death within 9 seconds. The pill is meant for agents, so that they can kill themselves to escape being tortured. Then Steve Carrell made a funny statement instead by saying, “Great, so how do I get them to eat it?” I don’t know, it was extremely hillarious for me.

Then there was another part, a chase-and-run session between Steve Carrell and the villain in the movie. Then Steve Carrell was like crashing into everything and then his boss shouts “SWORDFISH” – because ahead of them was a shop with a swordfish head as deco. Steve Carrell crashed into it and then asked his boss, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Steve Carrell’s boss said, “I don’t know. Were you thinking, Holy S***, Holy S***, a swordfish nearly went through my head. If so, yes.” If you watch this part, then you’ll understand what I mean.

And another reason “Get Smart” is worth watching is because Masi Oka or better known for his role as Hiro Nakamura in Heroes, is in it too and as usual, he was so funny and cute haha. I love him…

Next up “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging”. The title of this movie itself is funny and it also somehow is very creative that it manages to lure me into watching it.

Well this is a British movie so expect some really cool British accent in it. I love the accent so it is no problem for me at all. Well, let me be honest. It isn’t my choice of a good movie. If I were to grade it, I’ll probably give it a B, an average score. It wasn’t brilliant, wasn’t bad. It was directed by Gurinder Chanda (I think, I’m not sure) who directed Bend It Like Beckham and Bride and Prejudice. It’s like a normal teenage flick, about how this young teenage girl faces her everyday life – with parents whom she feels doesn’t get her, with the need to compete with blondes with pretty faces and big boobs, and with the need to get a hot boyfriend. So the whole movie is about how she and her friends try to score boys and oh yeah, how to kiss perfectly or the term used most frequent in the movie, how to snog.

The only thing great about this movie is the HOT GUY in it. My new found love – Aaron Johnson who plays Robbie “the Sex God” in the movie is superfine! Plus, his band in the movie, The Stiff Dylans plays really good music. My favourite by the band is “Ever Fall In Love”. Check it out. The ending of the movie is good though, very happy.

That's all for now. Oh but i'd like to point out that American Idol season is back and i'm loving the new judge, Kara. Honestly, i usually agree with her and i feel like she is the judge that is not as blunt as Simon but still manages to give clever and spot on criticism. Plus, she's hot. Paula, who's starting to get on my nerves, really should learn from Kara.

There was one episode in which a bikini girl came for audition. Seriously, even though she sounded okay, i think she's so bitchy and her attitude is so annoying. Simon and Randy sided her while Kara was totally against her. Tat bikini girl even challenged Kara and thought she was better off than Kara. Oh plzz...she got to go to Hollywood but thank God was eliminated this week in Hollywood. I mean, her diva and so self-indulgent attitude is not gonna get her far anyway.

You know, she did not practice singing with her group because she was "too tired because she had wore heels the whole day." For Goodness sake, dun wear heels then. Wearing heels won't help you through the competition anyway. I guess she believe that if she continue with her sluttiness (ahem, excuse my language) and her ways of seduction, she'll going to make it to the finals. She thinks the audience or the Americans are stupid, does she?

It's either she's purposely being that patheticly bitchy for the show or she is really like that. She even posed for the camera when she was on stage being judge. How vain. Even Kara couldn't stand her and called her a biarch, which was censored of course. I mean, it's one thing she got eliminated but her 'good' doings has caused her other group members their ticket to the next level of the competition. Pity them, but they did forget the lyrics due to lack of practice.

Anyway, there are also a few early favourites that i feel is going to go super far in the competition. Here are my list of early favourites. Their voices are beautiful....

1. Stevie Wright - She reminds me of Colbie Caillat. She's young and pretty and extremely talented

2. Scott McIntyre - He's blind but he has beautiful eyes and a voice of an angel. He plays instruments and graduated college at the age of 19. Genius or what?

3. Casey Carlton

4. Ashley Anderson - Her rendition of Leona Lewis's "Footprints in the Sand" blew me away. I think she has definitely got what it takes.

5. Matt Breitzke - He might not look like Tom Cruise or any hottie. He's a married man, a father who loves his son and happens to have a beautiful, natural voice. I think he'll sing country songs very well. I like his voice because he sings effortlessly and it's so natural.

6. Anoop or...Noop Dawg haha - He's and Indian and such an adorable geek. His outer appearance might not work for him but he sure has got a voice. I just hope he doesn't end up like Sanjaya - a laughing stock.

7. Danny (i forgot his surname) - He lost his wife a few weeks ago and he almost did not audition due to the grief. But he made it and is one of the judges early favourite as well. I think he too can make it...maybe the next David Cook. He's not my top favourites, but we'll see how he fair later shall we?

8. Michael Castro - Jason Castro's brother. Who is Jason castro? haha..he's one of my favourite last season. he finished 4th or 5th in the competition and he is a super charming lad. Jason is very simple with his singing...he just plays a guitar and does his things. Something like John Mayer, Colbie Caillat, Jason Mraz-zy style i'd say. Overall I was a fan of Jason. Michael Castro has a more aggressive, punk rock style. i'm not sure if i'm gonna like him, but he sounded good during the auditions and since he's jason's bro, i'm gonna also root for him.

So far, i've got 8 talents in hand. I'm gonna find more soon when we move to the Top 12. This year, hopefully, i'll be able to predict the Idol....

With lotsa love,

tammy c

Tied together with a smile

2009-02-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

4th February 2009

I guess this is where i truly belong. On my bed, with a pen in my hand, and with my beloved bolster wrapped around my arms, keeping me safe and warm.

This is the place where i feel accepted and i don't have to hide my feelings at all. My bolster knows me best, everything about me and i don't have to say a thing to it. It just knows. It knows my secrets, my feelings, my weaknesses and it accepts me for who i am. I've cried on it, wet it with my tears; i've laughed with it, through happy days and it was even there sometimes when i'm in fear. Every night i go to bed, there it is...to keep me company and making me happy. THe sight of it, the companionship, helps me get through many things.

I'm really sad now and i have it with me as i'm writing this.

This year started very negative for me. I know. It's the Chinese New Year and Iguess you'd expect me to be bragging about how great my new year celebration was with my family, since it's the first year all of us moved to KL and is actually celebrating the Chinese New Year in KL.

The truth is, no matter how hard i tried to act happy and keep moving on, i won't be because i've been really really really really really sad. Yes, i looked super-dooper happy during reunion dinners, house visits, etc. Well who would know how i really feel. I just feel that just because i have a smile on my face people take me and my feelings for granted.

I've been very moody inside for almost 2 weeks. I have issues with my mum, which i can never share with my parents or siblings because they wont get it. With my mum, it's like i'm never good enough. She's always comparing me with other people - her friend's daughter, my sister. I am the one who has to compliment myself, to enhance my self-confidence. Seriously, i'm sick of having to pull myself up because seriously, i don't feel i'm worth anything anymore, at least when i'm at home.

if she keeps comparing me with others, i just feel like she doesn't like me for me. it's like she doesnt like me to be jolly, hyper and loud. She wants me to be mature. Honestly, our definition for 'maturity' is poles apart. I don't know. i think i'm matured in some ways. it's just tat i prefer to have fun and act 'younger' than my age. What, i just like to take things more lightly, laugh more, make silly and lame jokes (which she will never get) and sometimes make a fool of myself in front of my friends. So what? And she starts pressuring me because she feels tat my 'immaturity' is the reason that i'm still single while her friends' daughters were now all 'not-available' because, well, of their maturity.

Why do i not like to hang out at home sometimes? I might prefer hanging out with frenz instead. Well sadly, i just feel more accepted sometimes when i'm with them. At home, i feel like a useless nobody. Nobody respects my opinions anyway.

i can always suggest something but no one would trust my judgments. They sometimes would regrad it as stupid - especially my sis. My mum, well, she'll just have to get confirmation with someone else regarding the things i say. it's like she never trust or believe me. If so, why even bother asking me stuff in the first place? Seriously, i'll admit that most of the times, i just never feel like helping or giving my opinions whole-heartedly becuase i know, my sister's opinions is gonna be better anyway. What i say won't be any good anyway...And even when i've given my bestest, it's never good enough, maybe because i'm nvr ever good enough.

I might as well help with things which i'm more confident with and good at so that i dun hv to be crushed by negative comments that would ruin my day. I might as well help people who would appreciate me for who i am, like some of my close friends.

I hate to sound ungrateful, because i know i have a great family and all, but sometimes, maybe i juz need a break. When i'm with them, i feel so so insecure. With my friends, we're all equal. We laugh together, we have fun....do crazy and silly stuff together. With my family, i look like an idiot - nobody. I'm so sick and tired of having to compete to be somebody. I can't be me. it's not good enough.

Like I lost my way - and i'm a screw-up. When i found the way out, I waste petrol etc. My sis lost her way - she's cool, calm and collected, she can solve and find a way out.

I know i'm not perfect and i screw up many times in life. But i'll still be nice to screw up and not have people then classify you as useless. My friends, i mean a few close ones, i can just do stupid things and screw up in front of them. THey'll tell me off but still, it's like, i can still be trusted with things, and accepted for the things that i'm able to do and contribute. At least i feel a sense of belonging. Even though sometimes my friends also disregard the stuff i say, it's like i can still run to a few different other friends.

At home, i can't feel that. My bro is close to my sis, they have their topics. Mum is with dad, vice versa. I'm in the middle. what am i? I'm just someone who stupidly smiles and laugh everyday trying to see things on the bright side. it helps me through some days but there are also days that i will break and fall. It really hurts and it's like, there's not even anyone that i can talk to. THat's when i feel that my friends are the ones that i can go to. At least there, i'm not left out and we have the same topic of interests. We would talk abt movies and music and our college life. At home, NOBODY CARES ABT WHAT I LIKE.

I'm always so stupid and tell them everything, but i'm just beginning to think, why must i even hv to be honest with them? THey might not be even interested in the things i have to say, but just interested in what they want to hear.

It's been 2 weeks, i've this 'useless' feeling. On the surface, i'm fine but inside, i just don't know how to describe my feelings. I'm not blaming my family because for all i know, i could be the one at fault. I constantly think, what did i do wrong in my family? It just makes me feel even more wrong, pathetic and useless when thinking about this.

"You're tied together with a smile, but i'm becoming undone" - Taylor Swift

~That is exactly how i feel~

When I need a place to hide,

I go to a place with God by my side,

The only place where i feel loved,

High, high, high up above.

When i need a place to cry,

I look no further than up high,

I try to believe that He's everywhere,

And that He'll always be there.

But sometimes,

I can't help but feel so wrong,

How can i keep going on?

I guess that i should have known,

That it's hard to be strong,

Especially when you feel that you don't belong.

I wanna run to someone,

But it seems like there's no one,

It's tough to be here now,

I guess I can't give up somehow,

If only one could understand,

Come up to me and hold my hand,

Tell me that it's gonna be fine.

But who am I kidding right,

There won't be anyone like this is this world,

You have to fight for yourself, girl,

And try to be whoever you want to be...

~and just like any other day, i'm moving on and hoping for a better tomoro. Like "Chicken Little" says in "Chicken Little" - "Tomoro is a new day". And hopefully, a brighter one ~

Looking forward to seeing you guys....;P

p/s: i'm not complaining...i thank God for my family and friends. but i juz need to express my sorrow and pain these few days. I guess, after all that i've said and done, i can still say tat i hv a great family.........they are great people.....

FREEDOM FOR LIFE

2009-01-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

20th January 2009

A satisfying cup of yoghurt always make my day...

I started the day with a really bad mood. Well, i had to go out shopping with my mum again. I am complaining because i'm just lazy to get out and do shopping. I'd rather sit at home and watch movies - see i'm a couch potato.

Then we had problems with the roads becuz i took the wrong road to Jusco Taman Maluri. Seriously, i've nvr really been there, i only have a rough idea of how to go there. So I'm bound to getting lost. I was really mad when my mum & sis looked down on me for not knowing the right direction. Maybe they didn't mean it but i was in such a terrible mood that i personally felt so sensitive about the whole issue.

So we ended up in the usual Jusco Cheras Perdana instead, which my sis is very familiar with. It's the 3rd time i've been there for this week alone. And on Friday THANK GOD i dont need to go again with my mum. I mean, i dunno abt them but i personally feel tat there is nothing super duper great abt that jusco. I wanted to get a pair of shoes with the design similar to the one i lost and i know that that particular JUsco doesnt have it. So why waste my time?

So yeah, i was bored as usual, and sulking a little because i know that i won't get my shoes. But thank God i have music to cheer me up a little. then i saw the prices on the clothings and i was again very disappointed because they are so darn expensive. GOSH...a simple blouse can easily cost you 70 bucks. Then i think again, i never get to buy the clothes i wanted. i always have to wear wat my aunt gives me. They are nice but then, it's not really me. What is really me?

But suddenly i realized that well, life is not that bad for me. Why do i complain again? At least i have beautiful ELLE clothes, GIORDANO clothes from my aunt. Even though second hand, but they are beautiful. Think of those people who have no chance at all to even feel what it's like to have one of these clothes. I feel that i was such a jerk today for complaining and feeling so ungrateful.

As i'm writing this, i'm enjoying another packet of Green Tea. Basically, all i'm saying is, i basically have all the goodness in life. I guess that yes, we really should be grateful and happy. ANd guess what, once i was cheered up...Luck came towards me haha...i finally found a pair of lovely shoes in Tesco! YAY!

Time for movies...it's been so long since i blog abt movies because for your info, i've been busy with my FINAL FINAL exams. Now that the paper is finally over, i can continue with my movie-quests. So the two movies which i've watched this past week are "The Freedom Writers" and "Because I Said So".

I highly highly recommend you to watch "The Freedom Writers". This is a very very very very inspiring story. It's abt how great this teacher is in integrating her students of different races in Wilson Highschool. In that highschool, students were divided according to the colour of their skin. They are divided not by others, but themselves. They chose to stick to people with the same colour skin. Gangsterism dominated the streets of Long Beach, California. Students in the school were exposed to violence everyday. They can just go out and if they trespass the racial borders, they might just get shot in the head. They risk death practically everyday just by venturing out on the streets.

Erin Gruwell, the new teacher and the heroine in the movie was only 24 years old when she was given a class full of students deemed ‘unteachable’. At first, she was the optimistic young teacher, ready to educate her students. Of course, the students at first gave her the usual wouldn’t-be-bothered attitude and showed absolutely no respect to her what-so-ever.

Erin Gruwell’s anger was ignited when she saw a piece of caricature of an African-American student being passed around the class. It reminded her of the depiction of the Jews during the Nazi German era. Propagandas using caricatures of Jews with big noses were transmitted around, propaganding the world against the Jews. She then touched on the Holocaust and found out that these students know nothing about it. But when she asked how many students have been pointed at the head with a gun before, all of them raised their hands.

“You think this is funny? Would this be funny if it were a picture of you?... I saw pictures just like this once, in a museum, only it wasn’t a black man. It was a Jewish man. And instead of the big lips, he had a really big nose – like a rat nose. But he wasn’t one particular Jewish man, this was a drawing of all Jews. And these pictures were put in the newspapers…by the biggest gang in history. You think you know all about gangs. You’re amateurs. This gang will put you all to shame…Take over neighbourhoods? That is nothing compared to them. They took over countries. You know want to know how? They just wipe out everybody they didn’t like and everybody they blame for their life being hard. And one of the ways they did it was by doing this. They print pictures like this in newspapers – Jews with big long noses and blacks with big fat lips. They also published scientific evidence that Jews and blacks were the lowest form of human species. Jews and Blacks were just like animals.So it doesn’t matter if they lived or died. In fact life would be a whole lot better…so what you’re saying is if the Latinos weren’t here, the Cambodians, the Whites or the Blacks, your life would be better?”

I think what she means here is that racism happens because we just needed someone to blame for the injustice and hardshipes in our lives. I do believe that is true. For example in Malaysia, rich people do not ‘know’ racism. They don’t feel the pressure or the injustice of the New Economic Policy? They don’t need to fight for their rights in education because they can afford education anywhere. The poors are the ones who feel the pinch. Therefore they are the ones who would complain about how the government gives the benefit to the Bumiputeras. I’m not trying to touch on sensitive issues here. But that is in some ways the truth. In America, people hate the Whites. Why? Because the Whites were the ones in power. They can create their own rules, do what they want because they have the authority to.

This theory actually applies to other stuff in life. For example in the movie, there’s this ridiculous male teacher (who I would really fire if I were the head of the school) who simply blame his students for the school’s plummeting reputation and results. See Wilson Highschool was a reputable school with great students until the government made it an integrated school. What made the teacher angry is he feels that students who want to be there couldn’t because they have to make way for stupid, useless kids who doesn’t want to or are forced to be in the school. You see, he’s again blaming others for his lack of responsibility as a good teacher. I don’t see Erin complaining.

I think that part of our lives and how it is depends on us. Like my dad always said, “You ride on what you have and for what you don’t have; you double your effort to keep up.” I really really treasure this advice because I find these words of wisdom. We don’t need to feel sorry for what we don’t have. We don’t blame others but rather work hard to compensate it. I guess in some ways, that is also what Erin is preaching.

Back to the movie, Erin then rode on this discovery (her students not knowing about the Holocaust) to teach her student by introducing to her students books like “The Diary of Anne Frank”. She feels that the character in the book has a lot in common with her students. She introduces her students to diary writing, whereby she asked her students to keep an account of their lives and their stories, just like Anne Frank. They can even write poems, songs, whatever, the only condition is that they have to write everyday. She told them she is not going to read the diary/journal, unless they wanted her to. And she wouldn’t grade them, because how can she said, “How can I grade an A or a B for one writing the truth, right?” Indirectly, she got her students to start reading and writing.

We also see how Erin in some ways challenged the school’s system. The school wouldn’t give new books to the students in her class because they feel that these children are hopeless anyway. There’s Ms. Campbell, (I forgot her post in the school) a lady who wouldn’t let Erin use some of the new books in the library even though they are just sitting there because she said the kids wouldn’t know how to read them and will damage them anyway. Why waste time? It’s like she didn’t even give them a chance. She just wrote them off. She said the school will only give them old, torn books because these students don’t know how to take care of books. This scene in the movie, I find Erin’s words extremely meaningful.

Ms. Campbell: “No, not the books…this is what we give them. It’s Romeo and Juliet, but the condensed version. But even these, look how they treat them. You see how torn up they are? They draw on them…

Erin: “Ms. Campbell, they know they get these because no one thinks they are smart enough for real books.”

And in a later part of the movie, she said: “ Dr. Cohen, why should they waste their time showing up, when they know we’re wasting our time teaching them. We tell them, go to school, get an education and then we say, well, they can’t learn so let’s not waste resources.
You don’t treat students with respect and trust…how are you supposed to teach them? Besides, the books are just SITTING THERE. At least try and let those kids, maybe somebody can benefit from them. Later, Erin Gruwell worked 3 jobs in order to buy new books for her students since the school is not sponsoring even though they have the resources. Later she also managed to convince the School Board Chairman to let her take her kids out on a trip to the Holocaust Museum, again using her own resources. During the trip, the students also got to speak to some real Jewish victims who suffered during the Nazi German era. The students stayed in a beautiful hotel. See, Erin treated her students like they were gentlemen and ladies, she didn’t see them as worthless students who cannot be taught or guided. You earn respect by giving respect.

Erin has another point which I totally agree with. How can you expect them to study if they have so many other things in life to worry about? We only see on the surface that they are students that wouldn’t care about their studies, but we never get to the root of their problems. They all wanna be somebody too, but maybe they don’t know how or they don’t think they can without someone to guide them. That’s when Erin comes in.

The students, inspired by their teacher later changed and started believing that they can achieve almost anything. For example they did fundraising in order to get enough money to invite Miep Gies, a kind-hearted soul who helped hid Anne Frank to their school.

What I really liked about this movie is that it is actually based on a true story. I didn’t know that racial discrimination was such a huge and disturbing issue in the US until I watch this movie. All the stories of the characters are real, based on the real-life students. And there is really this honourable teacher, Erin Gruwell.

So why “Freedom Writers”? Towards the end of the movie, Erin wanted her students to compile all their stories into one. And they named themselves “Freedom Writers” after the Freedom Fighters/Riders. The book was later published, so yes, we can actually read that book if we want to, if we buy it. In 2007, a movie was made based on the story. And guys, go check out the Freedom Writers Foundation website – www.freedomwriters.com. You’ll learn a lot more about their cause and also get to see the picture of the real Erin Gruwell.

Overall, I think this is by far one of the best inspirational movies I’ve watched this year. Well but then it’s only the 20th of January haha. Hopefully more good movies await me.

I have nothing much to say about the movie “Because I Said So” except that, well, it was a complete waste of time. I mean, it’s not even a nice family comedy to begin with. It is supposed to be about mother-daughter love but I just don’t feel it at all. It’s about a over-controlling mother who wants to find her youngest daughter a guy because she doesn’t want her daughter to end up alone, like her. So her mum enrolled in a match-making service, on her daughter’s behalf and set up her daughter with the guy she feels is right for her daughter. Of course the daughter then find someone else whom she felt that was more suitable but then had to in some ways please her mum. The dilemma…on and on…overall, it wasn’t nice at all. It stars my favourite Lauren Graham and Piper Perabo but other than that, nothing. I am not a fan of Mandy Moore and this movie doesn’t help me like her at all. So if you really really have nothing to do and you want to watch a love story, you can opt for this one. But don’t say I didn’t warn you guys. “Music and Lyrics” would be a better choice. ;P

That’s all for now. I hope I will find the inspiration to write about Idol Fever (yes, it’s Season 8 and a new hot judge in the panel…I’m loving it!) and “The Dead Girl” next. I’ve managed to download a few movies thanks to the discovery of Gougou.com and uncle KF (even though also for his own benefit) for helping download it. But I’m so so happy because imagine this…2 to 4 movies per day!!!!!!!

Okay I’m breaching copyrights here sorry but I’m just a poor student who wants some entertainment. If I get rich someday, I promise to get original DVDs or even Blu-Ray disc. Yeah..if I ever get rich. Then again, money is never enough right haha.
Okay take care people!! I’m signing out.

THE COLOURS IN MY LIFE

2009-01-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

19th January 2008

So far, everything has been great with life in KL after the last family confrontation we had. Everyone seems to be happy again, even though dad is still very stressed out with work. But he has been trying real hard to make us all happy and I know that. I really know he sacrificed a lot for us and therefore again, I also dunno how I can thank him. Everyday he comes home, late dinner, work load stress and also dealing with company politics – and sometimes, I think, maybe getting ‘sound’ by him is okay if it helps him release his stress. But most of the times, dad is very silent. He just doesn’t say anything and keeps everything to himself; at least with us he keeps things. Maybe he’s more open with mum. I guess he just doesn’t want us to worry and that makes worry about him even more. I think sometimes we should just give in to what he says, even though we might not agree.

Since we’ve moved here, we’ve been spending a lot and this has definitely burdened me dad. But he still manages to tell me that it is okay for me to continue hanging out with my friends. OH MY GOD! I suddenly have a huge rush of appreciation, love and gratitude for him. Dad is the best. Mum too! They both are in different ways…that’s why I love them haha… and make me remember that also, especially when I’m angry with them.

So today, we went to Jusco for our CNY shopping. Remind me again why do people even shop? Personally, I never like to shop. I like to buy things, especially for myself, but I don’t like to shop. If I want to buy something, I straight away go in the shop, see what I like and pay and chao! I am very very lazy to do my shopping. So today, I had a very very tiring and boring day. But at least I bought some good food to indulge in – Yogurt & I had a delicious McD sundae.

Since I was like so bored, I made full use of my resources – what I had with me – the camera incorporated into my phone. Thanks to media convergence! Haha….yeah, exam fever just over so my brain is still trying to purge out some Communication Technology knowledge. Anywayz, yeah, I took some pics of what I like and I’d like to take this opportunity to share with u my brilliant camera observations thru very lacking photography skills…

A trolley full of reds - CNY stuff & ahem...ya that...

Shopping also involve having my sister around looking as bulldoggish as usual...

SMILE LAR DUDE!

I think this pic is quite cool....not my sis...but the way i took this photo of her reflection ;P

Since i'm no shopper and i just am lazy to buy stuff that i am not interested in, i just followed behind my mum & my sis while doing what i actually am interested in...

...Like taking pics of them picking out some sweets...but SUGUS? OMG!! Who eats them anymore??

And also checking out some stuff on sale like biscuits, beautifully packed and displayed...

..Huge, big. large, gigantic & not forgetting expensive hampers all wrapped up for sale...

...Some other junks ...

and...what is CNY without a whole load of red mandarin oranges to grace the festive season right?

And look...what i found....YEE SANG PACKED FOR SALE! People are really getting creative with food...

I was also very engrossed with looking at the people walking around me...parents and their kids antics, couples, babies...etc.

And then i saw some really cute kids doing sand art. i think this is one of the most creative thing that shopping centres can have. Mums can do their shopping and dads can do sand art with their kids... plus i think it is a very good activity for kids.

Finally a shop that is more me! SPEEDY HOME ENTERTAINMENT - a one stop centre for ur home videos, DVDs, VCDs...that is, if you have $. i have a love-hate relationship with video shops. For one i like checking out the CDs, but i really hate the feeling that i can only touch them & not own them ARGH!

Just when i tot that i've found Speedy, the coolest shop in Jusco...I then found this...even cooler shop...C.M.Y. = CHan Mun Yi and dude....it's PINK!!!!!

The interior is even cooler...it's full of cool high tech audio & video equipments & they have Michael Buble singing on the big screen....if only i really own this place...

Well, candies also make my day...

Dont you just love stalls that are full of vibrant colors...they just brighten you up no matter how rough a day you have. I do believe that colours have therapeutic abilities...

More colours...

And even MORE MORE MORE COLOURS...

Yep, Barbie dolls are also still one of my fave things. And don't you think that Barbies are so fortunate these days, they have rooms, cars, kitchen, and a whole load of cool dresses...sigh...and of course a body that can never be achieved in real life. did you know that no one can have a body like Barbie...because if Barbie's body is converted into a real human body, she wont be able to survive - too thin.

They even converted HSM stars into dolls...talk about making money out of merchandises...

SOME OTHER REALLY ADORABLE STUFF INCLUDES:

A Pony riding kid

Two very adorable kitty dolls... i hate cats but when they are this cute & motionless, they are okay haha...

A sulking, crying baby...

A mr. smiley doll which i longed for...but it's RM49.90...

so i bought miss breezy (cute pink in colour) instead for RM 7.90...

The lollipop sucking kid...he's so cute. he was so estatic when he got his lollipop that he ran around showing it off to practically everyone haha...SO CUTE!

I guess you'll know how bored i was that day...i dunno, maybe i wasnt in the mood for shopping. And boredom can stimulate cravings...and suddenly i wanted these things so badly...

A McD Sundae (fulfilled)

Yoghurt (fulfilled)

Sushi-es (Yet to be fulfilled)

MY UNTOLD STORY ABT MY NEW YEAR & THE GOLDEN GLOBES

2009-01-12T08:20:00.000+08:00

12 January 2009

Before guys & even some girls go "EWWWW....", let me tell you that, YES i really like my new blogskin. Pink is definitely a color i love and i'm going sweeter for the year 2009! Kewl? Lol

Do not get me wrong, i'm still a huge Supernatural fan but since it's the new year, it is definitely time to start with something fresh. I've been so busy with moving and stuff that i actually forgot to share with you guys how my new year was. New Year was BORING!!!! Yup, you heard me. B-O-R-I-N-G with a triple G and a few exclamation marks...*ting*ting*

The only New Year excitement was during New Year's eve. My bunch of friends (YY, Lydia, KF, Eugene) and I were rushing their assignments. Yeah, can u believe it? Lecturers actually make them work on New Years' eve. But anywayz...we spent the whole day together, rushing and helpin each other out. So it was not much of a New Year eve for us.

And all of a sudden, my laptop just got stuck while i was abt to show my friends how hot the guy from Taylor Swift's "Love Story" video. And since i'm at it, plzzzzz check out how hot the guy is okay? He is super duper cute & very ...erm....Sinbad-ish. (tat means he looks like Zen Gesner from Sinbad) ANyway back to the original story. Yeah i was abt to show them my new man when suddenly my laptop got stuck. I remember the song playing at that time was "The Long And Winding Road" sung by David Archuleta. We actually thought he managed to hold his breathe singing the last note for so long before I finally ask, "is it me, or is the laptop stuck?"

Everyone starts pointing fingers to Mr. Fatt. Yes, he is a known virus spreader ppl. Think twice before u let his pendrive penetrate ur PC or Laptop. Hehe... He lets his viruses roam freely in his own computer and therefore, PRACTICE SAFE 'SEX' with his Pendrive hehehehe. But as much as i'd like to blame him, i know it's not him lar, so x payah guilty-guilty. My laptop has been a little nuts since the past few months - it shuts itself down sometimes without notice. that i think has crashed my HD.

I was super duper cool abt my laptop that day, i had no idea why. Even when KF told me i might have to reformat the laptop - and that means losing my thesis and more importantly ...my 3 generations of The Sims...ARGH!!!! I know i need to get my priorities straight. yeah watever... Sometimes, i think i'm nuts for being so laidback about such serious things. SOmetimes, i over-worry myself over NOTHING. Gosh! What am I? Oh yeah - a human being. Anywayz, in the end, none of us berani (dared) press the reformat buttons so we didn't reformat my laptop. Still i was super calm.

But as i always feel, it is always cool to have great & cool people around you hehehe. My aunt (thank u Laikuche), again came to the rescue and her engineer fixed my laptop for me. SHe saved my life because my final thesis was in there and yes, me being me, I DIDN'T BACKUP LAR WEI!~

So now my laptop is in perfect shape. I mean, at least it is functining again and i din lose anything. My Sims are still active and living. My thesis...oh well, it's handed in and forgotten.

Still on New Year's Eve....well i went home darn late that day. Late dinner too...because Hello?? we were WORKING! hehehe....and i had to wait for my other fren to pass me something and she was late. But we had a mission. After dinner at around 9, we still went to Eugene's to figure out my laptop. Then at ard 11, we gave up because we wanna go home & celebrate New Year with our family! I was worried...i was scared i couldnt make it for the countdown. So, we rushed...erm...i tried to rush, with the driving skills i have, i try to rush...and after tossing KF at his house...we sped home to Ketumbar Hill.

Cars were jam-packing the entrance of my dad's condo. PEOPLE~! I know that view is super nice lar...but plz let me go home too. I wanna masuk & enjoy the fireworks also. Sigh. Thank God we managed to reach on time. YY, Eugene & Lydia & Lace went to my dad's apartment to countdown. We remember counting down New Year last year in a pathetic car. We dont want that no more this year. So, yes, it was a final countdown to the countdown. Boy, it was a rush! And we made it....*we shaked each other's hands with tears of joy~confetti of love falling from the sky~we were hugging one another (hoping to see some people kissing but not happening)~exchanging new year speeches*.... YEah i know, i've been called 'dramatic' before. Thank you very much....yeah, we then countdown our own countdown since we could barely hear anyone counting down. But...THE FIREWORKS WERE AMAZING. From our vantage point, you can practically see 20 different fireworks from various parts of KL. So our fireworks session lasted ard 30 min.

Overall, it was a great New Year eve. New Year was...a bit slow. But still, a Happy one so that's good. So whaaattt are my new year resolutions??? Well, i only have one. To live healthier. 2008 was full of sickness....i was sick like so many times even my thesis teacher noticed. So 2009 will be a year of good health, prosperity and a full of OF FUN & HAPPINESS. I am tired of the resolution slimming down. Seriously i never make that resolution haha. cuz i think for me it's pointless. Whenever u put delicious, cheesy, salty and anything sedap sedap in front of me...give me 10 minutes - ZAP! So that is a new year resolution that I know I can never achieve. So save it! As for love & romance, i seriously hope that i'll be meeting either Chris Richardson, Jensen Ackles or the guy in Taylor Swift's video soon. Yeah....cuz i do believe that they were meant for me hehehehehe....okaylar...

Love & Romance for now is still not tat relevant. Dude ...of course i get pressures from me mum...yeah...i'm sometimes tired of her comparing me & her friends' daughters who are all happily in the arms of their bf...yeah thank you very much. but seriously, i know myself. i'm not them. i am currently in no position to have a bf because if i can't take care of meself, how am i gonna take care of others rite? See i'm so matured ahem...n mum always says i'm not...okaylar...my maturity depends on situations...Anywayz, i don't wanna be like those other girls. I wanna be myself. But don't get me wrong. i'm still a girly-girl...Love & Romance is not sumthing i reject, but something i think i'd embrace when the right time and the right person appears. (God...plz make it CRich hehehehe) Besides, i'm currently more career-driven and so GOD WHEN I GRADUATE PLZZ GIVE ME A GOOD JOB!!!!!! At that to my list *ting*ting*

What else? AHHA ~ Lydia's birthday!

Yes we celebrated her birthday at a cool steak house near my place. The food were good...well at least mine was. Again...my meal was loaded with CHEESE! Cheesy Chicken Chop....yeah...saliva dripping leh...? I know haha. I know...i said we wanna make it big...but in the end, we settled with only some close people, those involved with S.H.E. Balls! Something like a wrap reunion lar. It was overall a great day...we were all enjoying ourselves. at least i did.

OKIES...Golden Globe Awards~ Today is the day people give awards to people.

Truth be told, i'm never excited about the Golden Globes lar...even the Oscar doesn't have any effect on me. I mean, who cares who wins. I just know it if i ever come across reading about it. Usually i'll just find out who the Best Actress & Best Actor are. Oh and also best picture. The thing is, all the nominated movies are not even screened in Malaysia. So, it's like...why am i interested again?

So for this Golden Globe...i'll be rooting for....well Leonardo DiCaprio for his excellent performance in "Body of Lies" and "Blood Diamond". Yeah i know he's not nominated for that lar...but still i can grant my own awards here. As for best actress....hmmm...difficult, very difficult...can't pinpoint on yet. Leonardo is nominated for his performance in "Revolutionary Road" - a movie i'm also dying to watch besides "Australia" & "Bedtime Stories". So whatever it is...may the best man wins.

Instead of commenting on movies & TV...maybe i shall talk about something different...FASHION ON THE RED CARPET!!! I know....no one actually associates ME with FASHION, because maybe i dun really dress up like a fashionista hehe. but believe it or not, one of my ambition till i was abt 17 was to be a fashion designer. yep, i did considered the Fashion Designing course in TAR College for those of you who didn't know. I was designing paper dolls clothes till abt 17. I love to design and draw clothes. The only thing that held me back from actually taking that course is the fact tat i hated sewing, the job prospect in Malaysia and the cost of the course. Plus, i thought at that time broadcasting would be a better choice becuz of the broader job prospects. So here i am...in the final year of Advanced Diploma in Broadcast Communication.

I drew lesser since 2005 and now....i practically forgot how to hold a colour pencil. But i think if i ever have time, maybe i shall revisit those times again. So, yeah...now i'll try to comment on what i think abt the dresses some of the celebrities wore. Try lar...u dun have to agree with my taste. ;P

tamMY rating: 4/5 stars

Angelina Jolie - okay. if you know me, you'll know i HATE angelina jolie. NOT BECUZ SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME! sorry she's sexy...not pretty in my opinion. ALSO NOT BECUZ HER HUSBAND IS BRAD PITT OKAY! No, ask u already know, i'd choose Chris Richardson anytime. I dunno, i just dislike her. even her doing charity is like some sort of publicity. sigh... but i am not biased here. I like her dress. it's really simple, but elegant and beautiful. i like the free-flow texture of the skirt and the top. In fact, I think you can even wear this to a normal dinner. So i guess, it's suitable for different occasions, depending on how you wear it and style your hair. If angelina were to style her hair a little bit more, maybe the dress would look even more extravagant and red-carpetish. Well, maybe she's going for the simple look...*shrug*

tamMY rating: 3/5 stars

Amanda Seyfried - Love her in "Mean Girls". (She played the girl who can predict the weather by squeezing her breasts LOL) Love her even more in "Mamma Mia!". She's actually really pretty. I like the dress. I love dresses that flows. What i don't like is the red lipstick. but that's just my preference. if she were to go for a brownish pink - somewhat like the dress...i think would be really hot. the red is also matching, but not my style. The strap of cloth on her right shoulder (our left)...hmm...not that hot...if the cloth is sew into a huge rose shape, instead of a knot...i think it would look better. I think it would balance out her other shoulder. Love the hair...simple yet elegant.

tamMY rating: 4.5/5 stars

America Ferrera - GORGEOUS HONEY!!! I've always looked up to America. She's pretty despite comments about her size. I mean, i'm about her size and yes, when i see her, i feel that i ought to be happy with my size also lar...that's why i'm ahem....the way i am and still expanding in width. Anywayz...i love this outfit man! I can tell u, not everyone can pull of a skirt like that. i often thought that this kinda skirt (we call it 'tanglung skirt' here) will only look good on stick-thin people. Guess i was wrong. America proves me wrong. I actually think she looks really pretty in this outfit...better than some of her other outfits. I love the colour of the skirt and the whole way she presented herself in the outfit - shoes, hair, and make-up!

tamMY rating: 3.5/5 stars

Amy Adams - I've been dreaming of a True Love's Kiss! yes, she's the star of "Enchanted"...the happy ever after princess. okie...let's start with the outfit...i'm actually torn. i kinda like it and don't. its top is pretty boring but it's then again quite beautiful. Just boring. the skirt however is ...HOT! Love how the lacey patterns go on top of the inner skirt. Beautiful~ her makeup though made her look tired and distraught and somewhat old. Sorry but if you see the close-up, you'll know what i mean. i actually couldn't recognize her. i know nuts abt make-up but i'm sure it can do something about it...

tamMY rating: 2.8/5 stars

Anne Hathaway - One of my fave actress but this outfit doesn't make me go WOW! It made her look skinny...too skinny. Maybe if she had not tied her hair (or has she cut her hair?) and have some large curls, it would make the whole look nicer. The shinny shinny top is nice and the flowing skirt too...but for me, i think it's the color that ruined this one. Also, the cutting of the dress seems a bit weird for me. The make-up is as usual, very nice. i think Anne Hathaway matches red lipstick. I always see her in red lipsticks. i have no idea why. But maybe she should give the cool, neutral (that is...darker colours) a try, with the dress.

tamMY rating: 2.5/5 stars

Blake Lively - This dress accentuates the tummy, the fat and imperfection in curves. If i wore this, i'll look like a bursting fat pear, with a baby in the stomach. No No...i don't like this piece. It doesn't look good (at least from this angle) on even such a hot star. She shouldn't even stand/pose that way - slouching - NOT HOT! The dress is not ugly, but it is again quite normal....and Blake didn't wear it hot enough...sorry that's what i feel. Not to be obscene or anything okay but her boobs do look good in it though.

tamMY rating: 4.5/5 stars (~MY PICK~)

Beyonce - Beyond hot! LOve love love the design...see the patterns on the skirt...how the lines branch out like the patterns on seashells? Gorgeous. Incorporated with the shiny bits of jewels across the waist, the whole dress looks really simple but breathtaking. I also like the opening at the legs. Makes the whole dress look so good and it accentuates the body curve that Beyonce has. Love the make up and hair but if i can throw away one thing - it's the necklace. I'd go for a simple diamond pendant instead.

tamMY rating: 4.5/5 stars

Brooke Burke - Derek Hough's (my fave dancer) partner on the lastest season of Dancing with the Stars and she WON!! Very deserving indeed cuz she is good and Derek is darn good haha. Okay the dress. I actually like it...especially the color. What i don't like is the strap of cloth that circulates her waist. Why on Earth is it there? i ruins the whole design of the dress. The top - gorgeous, the boobs - hot, the flow of the dress - sweet...but that ergh...the strap of distracting cloth in the middle makes the whole piece unbalanced. The make up & the hair is also super duper approapriate...just that strap of cloth ....THAT STRAP OF CLOTH!

tamMY rating: 3.5/5 stars

Cameron Diaz - As much as i like pink...this is sssssoooooooo NOT hot! The design is actually quite nice but if i were to choose a color for this dress - it wouldnt be striking pink. Color is completely, in my opinion OUT! If it's black, or maybe lighter colors would help make this piece look alot more tolerable. The design however is, like i said, pretty nice. Again, we should consider who is wearing it. i wont be able to pull off something like this but some people can, without looking weird. I like the upper part ...how the strap goes over the shoulder. I also like the rose at the bottom. I like the way how the whole outfit somewhat like wrapped around the body. I think many might find this piece weird but i actually like it - BUT NOT THIS COLOR!

tamMY rating: 4.8/5 stars (~MY PICK~)

Drew Barrymore - Another Charlie's Angel...i love drew in Music & Lyrics. Don't get me started on Music & Lyrics...it's like one of my fave romantic movies & yeah i've loads to say....but not important here. The dress - I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEE IT!!! Love love the color, the design...everything abt it. I think Drew wore this piece beautifully, so beautiful in fact that i think this is my fave outfit so far. I also dig the hair man...i think it is complementary to the otufit. She could have at least wore a small, thin necklace around her neck but still i think without the necklace...the whole piece looks extreme divine anyway. I love everything abt this one.

tamMY rating: 4.2/5 stars

Elizabeth Banks - Well if you find her familiar, she acted in "Definitely, Maybe". Yes, she played Ryan Reynold's ex-wife. I'm not fond of her character in the movie but this dress... WAO! She looks good in it. I don't dig the overall design....but she really looks good in it. What i like about this gown is the color. I don't like the overall design. The sleeves - not attractive. It's a very traditional and old design, in my opinion. But what i also like is her hair and her make-up. i think the colour of the dress and her make-up and also her beautifully curled hair save this piece. Also, i'll lose the necklace if i were her. i'd maybe go for a cloth-based necklace - you know...those transparent ribbons you tie round your neck sort of thing, usually with a pendant - i dunno wat they are called but yea...i think that would be a lovely addition to the dress. Her necklace is not ugly, but i just don't like the way it goes with the dress.

tamMY rating: 2.8/5 stars

Hayden Penettiere - Hayden my dear, you are such a hot and pretty girl but this dress is not good enough for you. You can do much better. It doesn't accentuate the body, it just go straight down like a piece of towel wrapped around you after your bath. the only difference is that it's not cotton material and therefore you can;t use it as a towel. The color - BORING....the top - BORING, the bottom - BORING. I don't like it. Nope. But thank God you're beautiful hair and face still save you. LOVE THE HAIR.

tamMY rating: 3/5 stars

Isla Fisher - Who would have thought that BORAT would have a gal this hot right? Lol...but yeah, she is Sacha Baron Cohen's gal. And also one of my fave actress. She's really pretty. The dress - well...creative bottom...i like the layers....the upper part though...not interesting. Her make-up though complements the dress. Overall...okay lar...not overly wowed.

tamMY rating: 3/5 stars

Eva Longoria - SHE HAS THE BEST BODY AND BEST TASTE! So whenever i hear awards show, i wanna know what she wears. cuz she looks good in everything. She looks hot in whatever she wear, because she's a beauty. And she dare says she's the ugliest in her family. WHAT? I longed to see her sisters then. Anywayz...this dress is well...not my kinda dress. I was actually kinda disappointed. i tot she's gonna wow me again. Not with this one. i just don't like dresses like this. maybe it's just me, but i don't like it. The colour is nice but i don't like the whole design. Her boobs look weird in it. Her body - not fully emphasized....if the gown was a v-neck or haute...it would look a lot better. Dun like the top design. The colour though, i love. And i wish she would wear orangy-red make-up instead. it would go better with this piece.

tamMY rating: 2.5/5 stars

Jennifer Lopez - I don't like this GOLDEN, STRICKING, LAS VEGAS-Y outfit. It's like she's going to perform in some Las Vegas sexy strip dance show. Not...it's too flashy and fleshy. To me, inappropriate for such an award show. The only thing that goes is the 'Gold' colour for Golden Globe Awards. Hmmm...maybe she's trying to be the 'golden globe award'....i dunno if you get the lame joke or not, but it's not important. I mean, the outfit per se is good..it's just that for this particular occasion - it looks out of place. Too much!

tamMY rating: 5/5 stars (~MY PICK~)

Kate Winslet - First of all...what a couple. Leonardo looks so smart too...Kate's dress - BEAUTY PERSONIFIED! Love the tube-top design for this one and loved how the little belt with a dangling diamond is wrap around the waist. It makes the whole piece nicer. Yes! Unlike Hayden's towel....yeah Hayden should actually wear something like a belt around her waist like Kate Winslet did. It would make her outfit more outstanding. Overall, I think Kate Winslet's look describes BEAUTY with ELEGENCE! Her hair and make-up are all perfect...perfect for the outfit and the whole look. She is soooo deserving of an award.

tamMY rating: 4.8/5 stars (~MY PICK~)

Kate Beckinsale - OMG! WOWWWWWWWWWW with a million 'w'....She's like a flower. The top, is like flower petals...i love love it. The overall design is gor--gor--gorGEOUS~ It makes her look so stylish in a very elegant way. Everything about this piece i like. even the hair & make up. it matches the outfit. if she had drew barrymore's short hair, with curls but black, it would also look fab!

tamMY rating: 1.8/5 stars

Renee Zellweger - Why? Why? Why? WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! With a million 'w's but the wow is actually an expression of how shocked i am with the selection of outfit. Whoever thinks this is nice...plz....plz reason with me...I have noooo idea. I mean, the skirt is okay..but the TOP!? What in the world? At least wear a black bra it would look nicer...i dunno...i'm so not into the transparent netting that tries to serve as a blouse but failed miserably. If the black 'fishing' net is replace with real cloth, i think the design is not bad. Or...if you wanna stick with the net...i think she should wear a turtle neck, v-shape or haute blouse inside...at least it'll look more decent. This is like...half naked...why????! Maybe she is promoting the bra...

tamMY rating: 4.9/5 stars (~MY PICK~)

Madeline Zima - I actually have no idea who she is but I LOVE THIS OUTFIT! Love the color, i know it's orangy but orange is not the exact color. The top that is not too exaggerated and the flow of the skirt is so beautiful. It has a sort of Grecian look to it and i love that look. I find the style very sweet, elegant and beautiful. This lady here looks gorgeous in this piece and her make-up and hair also aptly goes with the outfit. Yes, this dress is very very simple, but for me, sometimes, some people carry simple very BEAUTIFULLY.

tamMY rating: 4.5/5 stars

Sandra Bullock - Last but not least, another favourite actress of mine. SANDRA BULLOCK!! I love this gown. LOVE LOVE IT! I like the top...it's very beautifully strapped on top of her shoulder. I'm not into dresses with layerings like the bottom part of this one, but i actually kinda like this one here. Sandra wore it very elegantly.The colour of the dress is also very nice. The kinda pink i actually like. She really worked it. She wore it sweet but not too girly. I wished she had bigger curls though and i dun like the strip of highlights on her hair. Everything else seemed perfect to me. Make-up, accessories etc.

Overall i have my own favourites and dislikes. You can differ anytime haha. why not you give your own comments in my c-box (under tag)...wanna see what you feel is the best piece of the night too. Also you can share with me some of your new year resolutions also..since i've shared mine hehe.

okie that's all for now. i've not been studying and can you believe it? this blog is even more important than exams...wat am i thinkin? sigh...but i m just so lazy..........

take care people

with lotsa love, kisses & hugs,

tammy the awesomist

Storm & the wind & of course T.T. Toom Toom

2009-01-10T01:37:00.000+08:00

One moment you have me saying “YaY! I’m so happy that my whole fam is now in KL” and the next…a hurricane storm just blows and crashes everything I’ve just ever said.

OH GOD! Why do family conflicts happen? I have noooo idea. I mean, my dad, my mum n my sis have all just gone berserk. Each related to one another. Dad, stressed out at work, came back angry at me sis for wearing her manly sandals. My dad has this resolution that he wanna transform me sis into a normal girl, who you know, dress up like a lady. Me sis, being as stubborn as a cow, just dislike that idea and insist on wearing what she wants to wear, and that means, retaining her boyish looks. (but not charm) Sometimes, I just don’t get her. I mean, she’s so rebellious and I don’t know… it’s not a good thing. I mean, when dad is in such a bad mood, can’t she just give in a little. NO! She makes everything WORST! Her stuck-up attitude is not gonna help things but makes it muddier for everyone.

I know it is unfair to say this but I really have no idea what is so hard about dressing up as a girl. Yeah I know some of you are going “Easy for you to say…cuz you are accostumed to dressing up as a girl”… I mean, it’s so cool being a girl (no offense guys) because we are the beings that get to wear both pants n skirts. ;P

Anywayz I know dad can be unreasonable sometimes, but don’t all parents behave that way? I mean, I am sure that everyone out there has issues with parents. We think we’re right, they think they’re right. Yeah, tat’s life. Even I have issues with my dad. But no matter how I disagree with dad, I’ll tell him what I feel and think and in a respectful way, so that I don’t stir his anger. Of course there are one or two times which I too am so mad at him that I wouldn’t bother to talk. But then again, I know what my dad has done for the family and therefore, sometimes, I feel that it is my responsibility to bear with his antics, even if he is unreasonable. My dad, though, I feel, sometimes does have a point. YEs, I mightt not agree with him and how he sees thing, but he does have a point and I see where he is coming from. It’s just that our personalities differ.

Mum and dad have different personalities. Now people, there’s this term called “Opposite Attracts” but seriously, please reconsider this term. You might be attracted to each other in the dating phase. Yes, we all know when we’re head over heels in love, nothing matters. Well, yeah….30, 40 years down the marriage then you’ll know. Sometimes my parents are so different that they see things so differently and they just can’t avoid arguments. They’ve been arguing practically everyday since we move here and all because they have different point of views. Seriously, to me, no one is right or wrong. They just think differently. GoD! As their children, it’s so tough for us man! We sit there, quiet as a quite thing and …listen to the verbal war. My mum & dad’s relationship is like me & me sis’s relationship – bitter & sweet. I don’t wanna swear to God, but from what I see, I’m gonna find a guy who thinks like me. Save me the energy of arguing over nothing.

So yeah, it just so happen that today, everyone snapped at the same time. Dad was stressed out at work (he worked till 8pm on a Friday), mum, tired from her trip back from ipoh, and my sis, well, who is always ready to snap at annoying people. Anywayz when we wanted to go out for dinner, my dad saw my sis’s sandals – everything started from there. Mum also can’t stand my dad’s roar…

Seriously, maybe now my bro n I are the only sane ones in the house. Maybe it’s because of our conflict-free attitudes. We feel very sad of course when the valconoes in our house erupt but we try to continue life with a smile. At least I know I am trying. I know that everyone has their own stressful moments in life, like now, I’m stressed out that I can’t study. Why am I allergic to the notes?

Anywayz I kinda pity my bro. I think he is the most unlucky one in the fam. I had 4 years of great campus life with my friends, and like he said, he is now stuck at home, with all these havoc and noise. He has no freedom. My advice to him is, (If you are reading this) enjoy life as it is. In every negative or bad situation, there is always a way to enjoy life lar…so…polish your driving skills so that next time you can lepak with your friends. Like Andrew Matthews say in his book “Being Happy”, we find happiness despite our problems. That is so true!

So despite the storm that hit my cheras home today, I still manage to find some time to take a pic of my new companion – T.T. Toom Toom. Well, it’s a bear keychain, now ornamenting my LG phone. It was bought by my bro n my sis. Both of them have one. My bro’s called JadooBella and my sis’s, Pleepoe. Mine’s cute and pink, my bro’s black and booorrrriiinng….and my sis’s, white with an England red cross (it’s like the bear is hospitalized or sumthing)…yeah, so mine’s the HOTTEST!

Check them out

(T.T. TooM TooM)

(Pleepoe)

(Jadoobella)

My NEW HOME!

2009-01-09T17:29:00.000+08:00

Finally, i've settled in to my new HOMIE in Cheras! It is a fantastic place. Yes, it is definitely smaller than the one in Ipoh, but having the whole family together makes the place so much warmer and a happier place to live in. Of course i'm gonna miss my days in the hostel and also my house in Ipoh, but i'm also loving the live i'm living now.

The first few days when we first move all the things here, everyone was stressed out. Seriously! Mum n dad were not the people you wanna go near. Trust me! The three of us were avoiding them the whole time lol...mainly for 2 reasons: 1 - we don't wanna get scolded; 2 - we DON'T want to get scolded (or for me, i dun wan extra work hehe)

Anywayz, once everything was clear up & in place, we started to enjoy the new place. Mum of course was still a bit unused to the lack of space in the kitchen. i totally get it; we had totally downgraded her 2 room kitchen in ipoh to a tiny store-room-sized little thing for her cooking. And i'm sure you guys know that when good cooks cook lol, they need plenty of room for their food stuff. If i were in that situation, i would say, i wouldn't even need a kitchen because, i DON'T COOK. The only thing i need in the kitchen is a fridge, for my cold, delicious, fizzy drinks ;P

Our bedrooms sizes are now 2 times smaller than the one in Ipoh. I personally have no complain now, but when we just move in...we were finding difficult because we need to decide what we need to throw away. I'm like my mum, we practically keep everything. EVERYTHING we FEEL is important (whether or not is actually is)

For example, i was going thru all my art folios and i decided to keep them. I mean, those are my work of art (though i'm no artist) and someday, i might wanna 'admire' them again. My room can barely afford anymore space to store stuff like these, but yeah, i'll always make room for them. My sister decided to throw away her folio and after i rummaged thru it, i decided to keep it for her. I know, i don't get myself either~

My new room is so comfy. I hv no idea why, but my bed is so comfortable, like real comfortable. My hostel bed of course can never compete with it. Even my previous bed in IPoh is not as good as this one. THis bed of mine, has magical powers. I just lie on it and....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As much as i love my room, I actually still have a problem now which need to be solved. My room is actually now packed, but i still have a tonne of stuff in the hostel which i havent moved to Cheras. I've been scratching and scratching my head, thinking of solutions. When i meet with situations like this, the only way out is ....leave the problem until the time comes when it is really necessary to solve it.

So far, i must say that i'm enjoying my new life with my family in kl. Maybe saying this too soon but i'm really feeling very happy. I don't feel so lonely because i have people around me. I have 2 annoying siblings - my bro whom i can ask to do stuff hehe, sis whom is there just to get on me nerves...yeah....and of course my mum who is always there to take care of me.

I'm having so much fun in my new house now tat i've been neglecting my studies. Maybe it's because you get TV and the Internet access everyday that I have stuff to keep me busy with. BUt then again, even without the Internet access, or even without my laptop, i think i won't succumb to studying. Okay i will start soon. I still have some conscience in me.

What have i been busy with lately? Well, haahahaha...i've been glued to YouTube watching a comedy called "Boy Meets World". It's really hillarious! The jokes are witty and clever. The program is educational yet it makes you laugh like there's no tomoro. Now everyday, i'm stuck watching a few episodes of it. It's like my daily dose of medicine. It's important. LOL...i've been so busy watching the comedy that i don't have time for any movies. Well there are 7 seasons of "Boy Meets World". Now i'm only at Season 2. I wanna finish all seasons first.

There are however, a few good songs i've been in love with. You guys know how much i love COlbie Caillat & Taylor Swift. Well, both of them wrote a song together and duh...that song is of course extremely good. It's called "Breathe" and it is beautiful. You guys should really check it out. It's about a relationship that has to end, because it has to end.

Next is Daniel Powter's "Next Plane Home". I've heard this songs multiple times on radio and no one actually can tell me what the title of the song is. So it was quite sometime before i actually found out what the name of the song is n now i'm hooked to it. The song is really meaningful and nice because it's about going home to the ones you love. Sweet~

Taylor Swift's "Hey Stephen", "White Horse" and "Love Story" are also wonders to the ears. I think her new album is also fantastic. Oh and did i tell you how much i love "LOve Story"'s video. The guy is so HOOOOTTT!! Again i'm in love. the lyrics of the song is so fun to sing with and i dunno....everytime i watch tat video, i just feel so touched...it's kinda romantic. It brings tears to my eyes (because i can't have the hot guy hahaha)

Anywayz...here are some pics of our new homie..

(The living room needs the most important thing - TV)

(Not forgeting some Mashimoroes for decor...cute eh?)

(The overall layout of the house)

(my stuff)

(more of my stuff)

(My cozy bed)

(Even my bolster, Stylo-Mylo is fitting in well)

(Each room needs a dog n i hv mine by the window - Mr Dog)

My first cousin is 'sold' (married), the second one on sale ;P

2008-12-29T02:38:00.000+08:00

THE WEDDING

I LOVE it when LOVE is in the air,

Two people's happiness, we'd share,

One the bride, one the groom,

From friendship, love blooms;

Today is their special day,

And for their happiness, we shall pray,

That they'll be united every single day,

Till all their black hair turns to grey;

Those 2 rings share a meaning,

Onto each other, they'll be clinging,

No matter what life is bringing,

Each other's hands, they'll be holding;

As the bride walked down the aisle,

I see the groom, with his happy smile,

The bride's father walking proud,

As they hand in hand, greet the crowd;

My uncle handed his daughter over,

The couple exchanged vow with each other,

They promised love and care forever,

Through happiness & sorrow, they still stick together

That's the moment I shall treasure,

Attending her wedding is my pleasure,

I felt touched by the love spread,

So, congratulations to the newlyweds!

(My favourite pic among the other wedding pix)

I would like to congratulation my cousin Shereen & her new husband (my new cousin-in-law), Sun on their lovely wedding. It's my first church wedding and I was a wonderful experience. It was beautiful. Everyone looked beautiful, all my aunts, my cousins and especially THE BRIDE! Of course my cousin Shereen has been always pretty, but the last two days, she was exceptionally stunning & gorgeous. Brides always have a certain aura.

When my cousin walked in, her hand in her father's arm, i felt so touched. I mean, in my mind, i was thinking, my uncle would be so proud and happy that his daughter is stepping into a new stage in life. I nearly wet my eyes again. It was so beautiful. And then, as the bride was walking in, and i turned, and i saw the groom...and the way he looked at her...i really saw his sincerity and love for his bride. I know it's lame but it's true. When i watched "27 Dresses" and Katherine Hiegl had a line which said, "Her favourite part of a wedding is when everyone turns to look at the bride, she'll look at the groom and see the way he looks at her bride..." i understand why. I thought it was really all bull crap, (even though i love 27 Dresses) but try it for yourself, i think you'll find that it's really true and very touching indeed to see a couple be united as one.

Of course these 2 days have been hectic but really fun. We got to eat a lot, laugh a lot and play a lot. We also managed to play a few pranks on the bride & groom. I think we need greater ideas; ours aren''t good enough...sigh. Any suggestions plz let me know so that i can pull it on my next cousin.

Overall, i think the whole family had a blast. Among the highlights was also a lady who say so well during the wedding. Her name - Jacinta, a wedding mentor and now apparently, a great singer. Her song "Household of Faith" was incredibly sung and very meaningful. i think all the guests loved it so much they asked for an encore. (She sung at the church in the morning and then suddenly, an unplanned performance during the dinner) But it was also embarrassing for me because i directed Jacinta to the wrong wedding before the dinner. Oopss.. we were supposed to be eating on 2nd floor of the restaurant but i told her to walk straight on at the ground floor. sigh...typical me!

Anywayz...weddings are always fun and great. Marriage on the other hand,...erm...well different story haha. The cuzzies committee (a bunch of cousins) are now waiting for the next cousin in line, DOREEN CHEW to tie the knot. We are now so in love with attending weddings that we might do anything to make sure that there's another wedding. hehehe Cousin Doreen, BEWARE! I can tell u that the others are now cracking their brains and praying to God. Haha!

Anywayz that's all for now and once again...

CONGRATULATIONS and ENJOY YOUR NIGHTS TOGETHER

*hint*hint*

~Tammy the awesomist~

the last of 2008

2008-12-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Like my cousin Shanice says in her blog, I’ve lost the ‘’blogging mojo”. Lol!
If you are wondering what ‘mojo’ is, well, I’ll like to see it as a magical inner power, some sort like that haha. Anywayz I’ve been so busy with so many things I just can’t find time to actually type words to ornament my blog.

So so many things had happened for the past few weeks man! And oh…before I forgot, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Yes, it’s not pathetic but yeah, I’m spending my Christmas at home, blogging~
Well, finally I’ve found some time to blog and I’m so glad to say that I’ve completed the draft for Chapter 5 of my thesis. Well it’s not brilliant, since I was half dead at 6a.m. yesterday completing it, but at least I’ve accomplished something that wasn’t in progress for the past 12 weeks.

Anyway I’m not here to talk about thesis…oh no! I mean, I just got rid of that. Since it’s Christmas, lets enjoy hehe…
A quick update on some of the events that happened for the past few weeks:
- Completed Ms Rasmuna’s Comm technology assignment
- Completed chapter 4 & 5 of my lame thesis
- Submitted my application for LJMU
- Went to the PR campaign on recycling in TARC
- Ate “Tong Yuen” at YY’s house
- Slept at 6a.m. two days in a row in order to complete the *beep* thesis
- Join the Hostel Not-so-Amazing Race

Days pass by so swiftly…and I didn’t realize it, but yesterday was actually the last day in class for our Advanced Diploma course. OMG!! And we didn’t even take pics to commemorate that special day! I didn’t even spend much time with YY and Lydia. Guess most time I spent with yesterday was with Mr. Big, KF since I sent him home. And since he is not going to the UK, I guess I was supposed to say a more meaningful bye-bye, rather than just dumping him at his doorstep haha. As for YY and Lydia, I know I’m gonna see them again haha…I can just drive to YY’s and make her belanja me makan haha…And speaking about Lydia and YY, it’s gonna be Lydia’s burfday soon!

Well let’s talk about Lydia a little then…she’s like the most adorable and blur friend I’ve ever met. Sometimes, when you spend time with her, her blurness just makes you laugh your butt off. But no matter how blur she is, she is so caring and nice and to have her as my friend is like one of the most wonderful blessings ever. I remembered once I had like a very bad fever, Lydia came down multiple times to check on my temperature. My little sis, who was then my roommate, just left me there on the bed to ahem…die. LOL…not that I care lar…but still~ then when see saw how nice Lydia was to me, she even asked Lydia why was she so nice to me. Well, Lydia is just so nice. Having her is like having a really kind and compassionate big sister. That time, I felt so grateful and touched by what she did for me. Lydia is a friend that must be treasured. This year…hehe…we’re gonna make her birthday a great one (I’m gonna give a huge KISS and LOTSA HUGS…Chris Richardson will find a way to forgive me hehe)…she doesn’t read my blog so no secrets are out yet. If you guys have any brilliant ideas in making her burfday a memorable one, plz let me know.

But seriously…IT’S THE END OF THE SEMESTER!!! And I’m gonna miss every single one of my classmates!! All of YOU GUYS!!! The next time we see each other, could be during the exams (or Lydia’s birthday cuz we plan to invite everyone)…and after that…yeah…a long way to go~

(Pic taken during last Christmas party @ Nic's)

Sigh…this semester was not satisfying at all. It just comes and goes like that. You get nothing out of it. Just 5 hours of class…I know I’m complaining again, but then, it’s true!

Oh…also something very important is happening this weekend…my cousin Shereen is getting married! YAY! Finally… someone is my family is getting married. I know I’ve said this before previously, but this weekend is it! The ceremony!!

And…this is an important announcement also…and it’s a change in my life that I’m really happy to go through. My whole family is finally moving over to KL. The 5 of us shall now be unified as one again. I guess my mum is still very uncertain and unprepared for the move, but I really hope she could fit in. I really like the warmth of the whole family being together. I mean, previously, I had like 3 places I call home (Ipoh, my dad’s place in Cheras & the hostel), which is cool, but then, sometimes, you just wished that there’s this absolute cozy place, in which you can really chill and settle in. And home is really home when you have your mum and your dad with you. Call me a pampered brat, but I really like mum her because she’ll clean up after me, which is always a good thing lol. Like today, haha, when KF was in my room, I was pretty embarrassed because my room was REALLY …ahem…messy. And not only that, the thickness of the dust on certain items in my room (such as the 3 in 1 milo packets, the chairs etc) I think scared him a little. Aiya, actually I prewarned that friend of mine about the condition of my room and I made him promised he won’t comment because I know he’s like my dad – he likes things clean and tidy and organized *slaps head*. You should hear what my dad told my mum about me and my room. Lydia prior to this has also nagged me a couple of times about the cleanliness state of my room haha. YY, well, she is in no position to say anything since her room is somewhat like mine, except the fact that she has got now a 12-hour maid (sorry Eugene) to clean up for her lol. But anywayz…I thank all my friends and family for being honest la...
But I still feel that messiness is actually a form of identity. Identity is very important okay~

Anywayz…ALL ME FRENZ READING THIS…my new home has been officially reallocated to Cheras on January 5th and of course you guys are welcome to visit ;P...
If you don’t wanna see my face, then plz stay away from Cheras then lol…I’m serious!

Recently, to reward myself for the endless hours of burying my face in laptop in order to complete the assignments, I watched 3 movies – “The Midnight Meat Train”, “Wild Child” and few hours ago I watched “Number 23”. My favourite among the three? - “Wild Child”.

Okay I’ll admit that “Wild Child” is another teen flick – yes, with the same standard storyline that you’d basically get to watch in most teen flick. Themes – love, school, hot boys, friends, rebels…biarch, biarch and yeah, more biarch… that’s about it. But if u don’t like teen flicks, well, just watch to check out how hot Emma Roberts is.

I don’t think that i need to tell u in detail the storyline. Basically it’s about a rebellious American girl who was sent to boarding school in England by her dad. Yes, as the story goes, she hated the school…bla bla…then met some friends and then…impressed the hottest guy in school…and yes, finally realized how much she actually liked the school. Needless to say, it’s very predictable. But then again, who says PREDICTABLE cannot be equivalent to NICE right?

So overall, I like that it’s simple and in some ways very inspirational, especially the last part, when you see how proud her father was with her. I personally was holding back tears when watching that part. Overall, I’d definitely recommend this movie to you, especially when you’ve had a rough day and you just want to watch something not too heavy. Plus, the lead guy, Freddie, is so sweet. He's not like the super handsome kinda guy, but he certainly has a certain charm that makes girls adore him.

My next pick would be “Number 23”. Yes, I am aware that many reviews have only bad things to say about this piece of work by Jim Carrey. I mean, Jim Carrey in a non-comedy. To me, it’s always weird. Well I love movies with twist, and this one has got one. It is somewhat similar to “Secret Window” actually…it’s just that it sort of links everything with the number 23. In the movie, number 23 is like a curse. So if your life is in any way connected to this number, you’re cursed. Actually, I think it’s all in your mind. In the movie, Jim Carrey is too obsessed with the number and therefore, he just keeps linking stuff to number 23. But I dunno, if there is a number that is linked/related to my life, then it has to be number 11. I was born on the 11th, and my house number is 272 = 2+7+2=11, and in every way, I just love the number eleven. But 11 to me is more a lucky number than a curse.

The problem with Number 23, for me, is that it’s too draggy. There were a lot of elongated sex scenes in the movie that are unimportant. I mean, I understand that in some ways, sex (or violence) sell and usually both comes together. However, when u inject too many of these elements inside that doesn’t contribute to the movie, the movie automatically become seen as trash. One thing effective about this movie is definitely, I think, the sound effects. Many times I was shocked by the sudden thuds and crashes. Either it’s because I have a weak heart, or because the effects were really good. The good thing about this movie though is that it has a good ending. At least to me it is good. But overall watch it when you really have extra time to waste.

Lastly, “Midnight Meat Train”. For me, I would advice you to watch this movie only when you are DESPERATELY BORED and THERE IS REALLY NOTHING LEFT IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD THAT YOU CAN INVEST YOUR TIME ON.

Ok, is it that bad? Well…sadly, in my point of view, yes! It is a psychoanalytic film that fails in terms of a worthwhile storyline. Psychoanalytic movies are all about extreme violence and sex. I could be immune, but I think that the violence in the movie just doesn’t work for me. I mean, yea, some parts are definitely ghory and bloody…and not to mention, revolting. But for me, I don’t really get satisfaction watching scenes like these. They say psychoanalytic movies fulfil your pleasures because when you watch those actions, it somehow releases your inner desires to commit such acts in this world, but can’t due to the moral institutions set by a realistically driven world.

I would say I’m biased because this is not exactly the kinda movie genre I like, but, I’ve watched psychoanalytic movies that at least have better meaning than this one. I mean, the ending of “Midnight Meat Train” seems so… forced. It’s like, something that is suddenly created just so the movie has an explanation for the ending. Nothing at the beginning of the movie provides indications that lead to the ending. It’s like, anything can be the ending. I don’t know but I just don’t enjoy that the mystery behind the killings is such a lame and uncreative. But then again, I guess psychoanalytic movies all have simple storyline and meaning because the main point is to excite viewers, not inspire or awe. Truth be told, if you just wanna see this movie based on how exciting and brutal this movie is, I can tell you that you can find many more violent and insane movies out there – eg: The Dentist, Silence of the Lambs. You don’t need this one to excite you at all. I don't like this movie, no! But yeah, you might have a different opinion.

And most lastly, comments on JT’s blog on S.H.E Balls!! (I really wanna make it clear that it’s S.H.E. Balls! With an ‘s’ ya…it adds another meaning to the title)

JT’s BLOG LINK: www.jiatengmovie.blogspot.com
(Read it to understand where I’m coming from)

First of all, I wanna kudos to JT for his fab reviews on all our works. I think JT could be one of the best movie reviewers in future haha. But every review is a statement of personal opinion, and even JT himself agrees to that and has made it SO CLEAR in his blog. So I guess I am also entitled to counter-comment his comments right? Well, basically, when I give comments, I’ll usually end up writing lenghty grandma stories (yes, since I have not written for so long, you have to expect this to be a long post)…so I would therefore provide my point of views here, in my own personal state, instead.

Let me start by saying this…wrong poster! Sorry but our team dislike that poster so much because it kinda represents our IDENTITY (again, like I say haha identity and image very important) There are also grammatical errors there which are intolerable.
The yellow poster just reminds us of those ciplak Bollywood movies and therefore, we have a better one, which is red in colour…REMEMBER TO UPDATE YA JT! And together in this blog…*TA DA* the final poster! At least better than the yellow one…in my opinion, so no offense.

(The Poster/CD Cover)

(CD Back)

I would also wanna take this opportunity to give credits to my lovely cousin, Doreen Chew, who is a professional graphic designer-artist-illustrator and I’ll just call her pure creative-genius. She did this poster in a few hours, last minute due to my desperate pleads and the results were already good. If she had more time, I can assure you that you’ll see a definition of beauty.

Her website link, if you wanna see how cool some of her other works is:
www.doreenchew.com

Anyway let’s get back to JT’s comments. Like I said, he’s short and precise = good. No wonder Ms. Ras also like his answers ;P
I appreciate his comments on S.H.E. Balls…I truly do because they are honest.

I agree with JT on the editing. Maybe we didn’t realize it but yeah, we did repeat the editing techniques multiple times.
The beautification scene (in which KF was turned into a horrific version of Rainie Yang) and the training scenes were supposed to be montages. It was basically my fault for wanting so many montages. But the reasoning behind it i– 20 to 30 minutes short drama, too many things to convey – so packed it into a montage. Besides, that’s how teen flicks usually do scenes like this.
But then again…I think the editing team is fantastic because they managed to come out with a product like that, seeing that we really have very limited shots.

I think JT is right when he says that we are greedy. I totally AGREE! Haha…we are a bit too ambitious in the sense that we wanna do everything. I guess, in some ways it’s a good thing because we really got to try various stuff, which was indeed an experience for us – for example, Bollywood style, love & romance, comedy and though we failed, we did try to do sports oriented film.

We failed because we really should know that a movie’s theme should be simpler and more focused. A good movie maybe just needs one or two themes, which should developed in thoroughly and comprehensively to make the themes more memorable. And usually meaningful movies do not need fancy fancy editing to compliment the storyline, because it stands alone. That I know because I love movies with simple but inspirational and momentus storyline – such as Kite Runner, Music & Lyrics etc.

I’m really glad that you like the twisted ending because Mr. Jerry didn’t. We all wanted an unexpected ending because we know S.H.E. Balls is very predictable all the way. Mr. Jerry wanted the lead actor & actress to end up together, (according to YY since I wasn’t there for the evaluation) which in my opinion, would make S.H.E. Balls PREDICTABLE ALL THE WAY & IN OTHER WORDS BORING! If I was there during the evaluation, I’d make that super clear to Mr. Jerry.

S.H.E. Balls was definitely a risk. And to be honest, wouldn’t be able to succeed if not for the bunch of people in the group. I can honestly tell you that I am not a person who can come up with comics like that. If the whole project were solely mine, it would have been on social issues…because as much as I like comedies, I know I can never pull out a funny movie. Only my friends, with their talents, can.

And also, I’m really sorry but I really dislike the fact that everyone keep saying that SHE Balls is funny because they know the cast members. Not true at all. We’ve run tests around with our other friends and family, who has no relationship what-so-ever with the casts and they actually laughed too. I just want to make that clear. Most of them liked a few parts – YY’s fan scene, Bollywood scene, KF vomit scene.

If you ask me, it would be much more accurate to say that only Malaysian audiences will laugh at the show because I can assure you the ‘kwai-loes’ (foreigners) won’t understand the comics in the show, because of culture differences. We laugh at different things. I’ve experienced these a couple of times. I realize that Malaysians are sometimes more lame and goofy in their presentation of comedy. Some American and British comedies are wittier, but for those that are not, they are even lamer and stupid. But no matter how lame, if the comedy makes people laugh and had entertained a few good people, I think it’s good enough lar. Like “Don’t Mess With the Zohan” is one of the most repulsive, lame comedy I’ve watched this year, but many liked it. I like Zohan because of its meaning, but some like it because they were humoured. The conclusion – different people, different opinions.

“You laugh because you are entertained by their make up and acting, in fact, there is nothing to laugh with”

I want to seek some explanation from the person who made this comment. I’m sorry and no offense ya but I think when you watch a comedy you’ll be entertained by one or all of these - the lines, the acting or the make-up. We’ve fulfiled 2 out of 3 criteria.

I don’t see what is wrong with making people laugh using make-up and acting. A comedy aims to make people laugh, regardless the means, if it makes you laugh, it’s a comedy.

EG: Last time during my intern, I was working on set of “Duhai Si Pari-Pari”. The fairy’s father appeared everytime in ridiculous outfits. Like once, he wore an alfro hairdo, once he was Elvis, once he was a cowboy…etc…I thought “Wah lame betul! Wat’s so funny about that?” Then, I saw everyone passing by laughing. It could be because of the bounciness of the alfro hairdo when the father came out from the cab. No one expected an alfro dude inside tha cab. For me, I was immune because I saw that shot like multiple times that day, but I realized that comedy can be as simple as that. It made people laughed, it could have made somebody’s day better.

It can be an extremely stupid method, but I don’t see any problem with making people laugh using make-up and acting? In fact, I thought if the acting makes you laugh, then the comedy worked. I admit though that the lines weren’t exactly that chic and clever, but I can say we tried our best with it. ;P Maybe there’s nothing to laugh with (actually not sure what that means…sorry I’m so shallow), but there is, hopefully, something to laugh at. Haha…

I agree with JT, and I believe that the whole group agrees that the match part was too long and draggy. Personally, that I know is the truth, but I really credit KF and Eugene because I know that doing that part is not easy at all. It might look easy but that part was the most screw up part because we really have very very limited shots. And with what we have, KF managed to arrange all the shots to make the whole match come together. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m impressed because if you ask me, I wouldn’t have the patience to do that. The match scene itself took almost 3½ days…

Though it turned out to be one of the worst parts in the movie, I still credit KF and Eugene for making the best out of what we have. Everyone can criticize that part, but since I know how hard they worked to make that part work, I think for me, their efforts had made that part great in its own way.

We had taken some time to re-edit some parts of SHE Balls during the beginning of the semester, and mainly what we did was try to cut short the match scene and do some minor lighting adjustments.

Lighting is something that I don’t like at all. I don’t like studying it, and I don’t like applying it in theory. For extremely good lighting – you need good lighting equipments. For us, it’s difficult because we don’t have that. The production crew I worked with has an entire truck packed for all lighting equipments, and all we have was…well 2 small 800 W lights. But then again, lighting is again something so subjective. An extremely bright scene can be criticized for its bad lighting, but also can be credited for its ability to create certain moods in a particular scene. There’s nothing perfect about lighting, just how you see it and of course, who is directing it haha. If Steven Spielberg includes a blindingly white scene in his movie, viewers will perceive it as good, brilliant technique used to enhance the scene etc etc…it’s usually like this, even in other situations – when a person of authority says or does something, usually people will highly credit it.

In the industry, producers usually make a movie for commercial reasons and that is to make $$$ (My company’s producer always wants that).
Personally, from a producer’s point of view (I dunno abt my other groupmates), my aim with SHE BALLS is first to challenge myself. Secondly, I want to do something different from the artistic movies that our senior present to the lecturers each year. Plus, I know that with the group members we have, an artistic movie is not a good choice because we are not good at Cinematography and other related aspects. For example, you can’t expect Steven Spielberg to direct an artistic movie too right? They can try and therefore we also can try that some other time but that was our only project then and we wanna do something we’re more confident and comfortable with. And I think our group is more suited with the comedy genre. Thirdly, I just feel that I’d want to produce something that can make people laugh because I always believe that laughter is the best medicine. No matter how sad you are, a good comedy can wash off all of your troubles. For me, when I’m sad, I just go to the comedians in my class haha.

But also, with SHE Balls, even though it’s a comic all the way, I just hope that people would see the implicit meaning in it. Believe it or not, I tend to less stereotype transvestites after the production of SHE Balls. Really! I somehow understand how it feels to be stared at and discriminated because I have somehow hung out with a few (Sexy, Easy and Honey) of them myself. And even when we were shooting SHE Balls, you see the public’s reaction towards them. That’s why we usually let them hold the camera, so that people know that they are acting. It’s so sad because Malaysians still finds it hard to accept this group of people. I hope that SHE Balls does help change our perception on Transvestites also lar, even though, yea it’s like we’re making fun of them also in the movie, but we really mean no harm.

The idea and script I suggested to my group was for something meaningful…a love, friendship story which touched on various social issues…because like I said, that’s the kinda movie I’d love to someday make. Mr Jerry banned it because the scope is too wide. We won’t be able to compact everything in 30 mins. Again we were too greedy. I’d either make a movie that inspire and touched (something like “Who Will Care”, but more complicated and the issues I’d touched on would be on social issues) or one that would really entertain. So we discussed again the idea and Eugene was joking about this ‘ah-kuah’ and volleyball idea. The girls realized it! We wrote the script and handed in to Mr. Jerry. Lol…and the guys…well, as you can see in the short film, they are stuck in ‘chick-suits’ for a month hehe. They hated it, but no time to write a new script…sad but good~

My advice to guys out there:
- Never suggest stupid and lame ideas in front of just for fun, because girls might like the idea and then finalize it
- Never mess with the girls, because when we say we’ll do it, it means we’ll do it. Dressing up you guys in chicken outfits is not easy, but we can still manage hehe

So, yeah, really sad to say, if I ever become director or a producer, I don’t intend to invest my time on artistic movies, unless they are easy to understand and inspiring.

One more thing though, why the term artistic film for those boring movies with 10 minutes of long shots? No offense, but then, I consider every movie artistic because all are works of art, right? Even chick flicks or superhero movies are all works of creative people. So let me rephrase,
“So, yeah, really sad to say, if I ever become director or a producer, I don’t intend to invest my time on movies with 10 minutes of long shots, unless they are easy to understand and inspiring. I’ll never do ‘What Time is it There?”

I personally liked “Who Will Care?” (a production by another group of friends of mine) most. Why? Because it is inspiring and meaningful. Okay, some parts don’t make sense, because of continuity factors, but still overall the story is simple, yet able to touch hearts. I learned from this movie that, some themes can be presented in just a very simple storyline. It doesn’t need expensive props or any fancy costumes. Just a camera and some human beings haha. Beautiful!

It was a touching story….but didn’t manage to tear me up. Maybe I’ve heard so much and was hoping to be really moved but it didn’t happen. Maybe because I can’t relate to it. But whatever it is, it is one good film as it is meaningful and funny as well. Love it!

JT…my comments on ur group’s short film. Ehehehe…..”Jad…” opps….”PERFECTION”
One thing I really really like about this film is THE THEME! I love how the theme revolves around perfection…because yes, nothing is perfect. And even when you put everything that you think is perfect together, the outcome wouldn’t be perfect, or in fact, it could be a disaster.

I am the first to say that I am not a perfectionist. I know nothing is perfect. I like to do things as it goes, because I believe that life is about going with the flow and in the process, enjoying it. The good thing abt not being a perfectionist is that you are happy with basically the most fundamental of things. But if seen negatively, you are a person who isn’t motivated to go further and challenge yourself. You settle easily with mostly everything. I really hope that I’m somewhere in between lol….

Anywayz ‘Perfection’ is basically a film that basically expresses what I feel about perfection. To be honest, I really dislike people who seek perfection all the time. I mean, what you want could be beyond other people’s ability. Besides what is perfect? Everyone has different viewpoints.
For example, Chris Richardson is the perfect guy for me…but ahem…NONE of my friends think so. Sigh…

I don’t really like hanging out with perfectionist, because they stress me out but sometimes, being overly obsessed with perfection is actually a mental illness. So I do pity people like this. Anywayz, back to “Perfection”. Nice theme – very good acting. But stunts are a bit …sorry ya JT…fake. Like when Pai Wah hits the guy from behind…cud be more convincing. Sound Effects also DARN GOOD!! The beginning of the movie…the intro to the movie is my fave part! Very very effective. The combination of everything is fabulous. It makes people want to watch.

The first two killings were good. But then later, like I’ve told you before, the story becomes predictable. You will know that she will kill guys for their ‘perfect’ facial features. Towards the end, no more excitement. The ending where Pai Wah kills her bf was a bit unpredictable, which is good. But I knew that her piece of work won’t be perfect even after all the killings. That I can predict after the first two killings. The poster though, I’m not so into. Well it’s a really beautiful poster, but it doesn’t represent the film. When I look at the poster, I think of a movie like Superman or something about space. It doesn’t go - “Perfection”.

But overall, CREDITS to you guys for doing such a challenging movie, since it involves violence haha. I like it. If that day during the preview I wasn’t so worried about my SHE Balls, I’d enjoy it even more.

“Jaded” I can’t really give comment because I was two times late for the previews, so I actually missed the whole front part of the film both times. Maybe after I get it I’ll comment on it.

Today is Christmas and I thought it would be also nice to think about those people who are not as lucky as us…
This song is called “Nobody’s Child”. This song brings back memories from my childhood. When I was young, I listened to loads of oldies, thanks to my dad. I love oldies and this song is one of my favourites. The lyrics are extremely beautiful and it reminds us to help children who aren’t as lucky as us.

“As I was slowly passing, an orphan's home one day.
And stopped there for a moment just to watch the children play.
Alone a boy was standing and when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see and he began to cry.

I'm nobody's child
I'm nobody's child
I'm like a flower just growing wild.
No mommy's kisses and no daddy's smile

Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child.

People come for children and take them for their own.
But they all seem to pass me by and I am left alone.
I know they'd like to take me but when they see I'm blind
they always take some other child and I am left behind.

(No) mother's arms to hold me or soothe me when I cry.
Sometimes it gets so lonely I wish that I could die.
I'd walk the streets of heaven where all the blind can see.
And just like all the other kids there'd be a home for me.”

Yes, I know this post is too freaking long. So before I stop, (FINALLY! I hear some cheers) I think we should all take sometime today and in fact, everyday to ponder upon this. We should be grateful that we’re all warm and happy. Everyday is a blessing, and to me, that’s so true. Count your blessing and stop complaining. (or maybe just complain less lar hehe)

TAKE CARE EVERYONE
~Tammy the awesomist~

Long time...

2008-12-25T22:07:00.001+08:00

7th December 2008

It's been a while since i last penned ya...well i've been really really engrossed with my activities...and i guess you guys wouldn't believe it but yes, i'm stuck reading a really really good BOOK! Yes....b.o.o.k.

Well the book is super dooper nice. It's called "The Book Thief" and its setting is in Germany during the Nazi German era. Therefore, if you actually read this book, you'll actually learn a few German words. (Especially very rude ones, because it involves a lot of cursing and swearing haha) But it's a story abt family, love and basically the cruelty faced by the Jews. Also it’s about the importance of ‘words’.

I love to read and watch stuff on war history and stories that touches on human rights. I guess these are the stories that made you feel grateful that you are actually a life that is actually a LIFE. Imagine being a refugee and everyday you live in fear and your purpose in life is just to make it through another day. Sometimes it makes you think, if you live a life like this, wat is the purpose in life anymore? Just to make it through another day for what? So that you can suffer another day? Maybe, because of the believe that there would actually be a better day, i don't know.

Towards the end of the book, when I fought out that no one lives, except the little girl who is the Book Thief…I spent like ½ crying my eyes off. I know it’s stupid but if you actually read the book, you’ll understand that my tears are of reasons okay. I have a few favourite characters, and when I know they die, I just can’t accept it.

Well the book is about this little girl Liesel Merminger and her little brother, who was sent to a foster family – The Hubermanns when she was I think 10 because her mum can’t afford to take care of them. On the train to their new home, Liesel’s brother died. They buried her brother and during the burial, the gravedigger left a book. She then took and kept the book, making it the first book she stole.

Alone she began her adventure in her new home during the World War 2.

My first favourite character is Liesel Merminger’s foster dad, and I actually forgot his name!! Let’s call him Mr. Hubermann…He’s like the greatest father that one can ever have. (Besides my dad of course) He’s gentle and understanding; he loved Liesel so much and had been there for her at night when she had nightmares about her dying brother. In fact, he was the one who had discover that Liesel had stolen a book and he then reads to her every night when she woke up from her nightmare. He also gave her reading lessons in the basement. He got her to write the words she learned on the wall multiple times so that she remembers them. (Exactly how my dad taught me last time. But instead of the wall, we incorporated papers and pens haha)

Besides that, he is a very kind-hearted soul. Later in the book, he hid a Jew in his house basement. He also got wiped by the German soldier for giving bread to a parade of Jews marching to the concentration centre. I also like Mr. Hubermann because I think that during that time of such adversity, Mr. Hubermann was the character that makes everything seemed ok. I think in some ways, he is also similar to my father. When he’s around, everything seemed under control and problems can be resolved and settled.

Mr. Hubermann died in a bombing, together with the every single living object in that town because the raid sirens were too late to warn the people. Only Liesel survived because she was writing in the basement. That was what saved her.
The part where Liesel talks to her father’s motionless dead body…that’s the part that tore me up. Even as I’m writing this, brings back my teary eyes. I think I understand how Liesel felt when she actually saw her father’s dead body that day. If I were her, I think my heart will feel like it is being sliced or crushed into pieces – someone you loved so much, and yesterday was still here, at this moment, is gone. It’s like, what had been the times we had together are now all faded into memories that you have to hold on for life, afraid that you would lose grip. Plus for Liesel, she had to deal with the death of every single one of the people she knew in the town. That’s like even worst.

Another character was Liesel’s best friend/kinda like boyfriend, Rudy Steiner. Rudy is a boy who loves Liesel and deep down inside, Liesel knew she had loved him too. (even though they are just kids). Rudy always tease Liesel, vice versa, but at the end of everyday, they are the closest buddies ever. They tell each other almost anything and they are there for each other, to console each other when one is down. Rudy also died in the bombing. Rudy had always asked Liesel for a kiss whenever he does her a favour, but Liesel had always denied him that pleasure, even though she had wanted to. He finally got his kiss after he died. But this ain’t a fairytale – the prince doesn’t wake up after the princess kissed him. His body was the first Liesel saw and … again… the pain that I felt when I read that part was unbearable. So imagine what Liesel had to go through at that time.

So basically, she had lost everyone that night. I picture myself in her shoes. I think I would have cried myself to death.

The thing I like about this book is, the director actually writes very beautifully and a lot of metaphors are incorporated to make this piece so interesting and a picturesque read. For example, he used phrases like, “Tears fight for room in her eyes” (because she’s trying not to let her tears roll down); “redstripped by thorns”; “Ribbons of snow”, “face decorated with constant fury”…Nice huh?!
The writer, Markus Zuzak also writes his story in a very interesting sequence. So he will tell you that something will happen in the future, then he moves back to the current situation and later only he further elaborates on the things that he told us had happen earlier. Yea, so you really have to pay attention to the storyline to understand it. Overall, this is one book that I’ll give 10/10 stars! MUSSTT RRRREEEAAADDDD!!!......

Anyway since i've been trying to finish the book asap...i have neglected my thesis and most of my other work, but of course i still have to make time for some other things like movies and hanging out with friends haha. That's just how undiscipline i am.

Well let's talk abt the events in my life these few days. Just yesterday was my mum's birthday and a pre-wedding/house-warming party organized by my cousin, Shereen. Yup, finally...my first cousin to wed. I'm happy for her and of course, who doesn't love a wedding rite? haha...yeah...erm...(*think*think*) Well, okay, if you don't believe in wedding, (which is a completely different story) i'm sure you'd enjoy some sort of gathering or celebration rite? I can't wait for the real day. i bought a dress ages ago for her wedding and now, finally i will be able to wear it. FINALLY!

Okay back to movies

Yesterday midnite, i went with my cousins to rewatch Twilight in the cinemas. Yes call me crazy but i have a bunch of crazy cuzzies...we all are watching it for the 2nd time except my bro. is it that good? Well it is good...the first 40 mins was kinda a drag i must admit becz i just dun get the silent eye contact between the two lead characters, especially edward. (the lead guy) Edward is like weird; not becuz he's a vampire, but becuz one min he wanna be close to the girl and another he acts cool and tells the girl to stay away from him, when in fact he was the one who always go to the girl. But then, you hv to watch the front part to understand the movie. And the movie starts to get interesting when they start dating. To tell the truth, i'm more in love with Edward's father, Carlisle n his bro, Emmett. They are sizzling HOT!! My two cousin sisters on the other hand was crazy over edward....especially my cousin shanice...you hear her gasping everytime edward comes out..OMG, embarrassing lol...but when Carlisle came out...you hear the whole cinema gasping....like shocked by his good looks...yes, i'm not kidding! I also contributed ...haha...The thing i love most abt Edward and Bella's love relationship is that they can just sit together and talk to each other all day. They look at each other with that deep affection, that great depth of love. That's so romantic! But then my other cousin Doreen, who, well is not the romantic lovey-dovey kinda girl, had me listened to her harsh criticism for the movie “Twilight” the other, even though she hasn’t watch it. LOL…Well her criticism were quite entertaining though, I must say. She’s very artistic…so maybe that’s why she has weird tastes, I don’t know. Haha...WEIRDO! ;P Only kidding. But then artistic people are always different from the crowd.

I also rewatched "Definitely, Maybe" for the second time. Well, it's a feel good romantic movie. I really love Isla Fisher. She's so beautiful. I also love Rachel Weist, even though in the movie, her character isn't one that many like. I mean, she plays a really strong, flirtatious career driven woman. She is a journalist who wants to expose the truth and becuz of that caused her bf's career. Well, i think i admire some parts of her character. The headstrong and determineness, plus a successful writer image, I really like!

I like Isla Fisher also. But I just don’t like her directionless characteristic during the beginning of the movie. Overall, though, I like her live-life-as-it-goes thinking and I like how she always smiles so sweetly. However, one quote that i remember most from the movie by Isla is:

"It's not the person, but the time"

This is a quote which i have to agree, even though i hope is not true is. So, it's like sometimes, even you love someone with all your heart, if the timing is not right, you won't end up with tat person. You will end up with someone you meet when you feel you're ready. So SAD...I really hope that the person i truly love will appear at the exact time when i'm ready and also when he is ready. If you are in actuarial science, maybe could you be kind enough to tell me the probability of that happening? Lol

Anywayz, 2 days ago, i went to watch "Body of Lies" starring Leonardo Dicaprio and Russell Crowe. I must now say tat Leo Dicaprio is officially my fave actor whom i think is brilliant in acting. I mean, of course i still like Jensen Ackles, James Marsden, but Leo Dicaprio is different. Jensen and James, i'm half biased becuz i was focusing mainly on their good looks, so i dun really pay attention to their acting. They can act but Leo Dicaprio CAN ACT! I find myself drawn to his expressions, his movement and acting, instead of drooling over his hotness. Leo often acted in movies that required him to speak in various accents, for example: African accent in "Blood Diamond" and with a middle east accent in "Body of Lies". And i tell you, he did it perfectly. He's darn good! "Body of Lies" is abt terrorism...abt tracking down a jihad group. and of course it's abt manipulating people in order to achieve your goal. I really like the movie cuz i think it's meaningful and touching. It's also surreal, mainly thanks to Leo Dicaprio's fantastic portrayal of the torture scene at the end. And also, the message delivery was good. And this is one of those movies that don't have a kissing scene. Yes, due to Titanic, many see Leo as a 'salty wet' (translation - pervertic) guy, but Leo is just a pro. In "Body of Lies", Leo's love interest is a sweet Muslim girl and they can't even hold hands. Haha...pathetic i know haha. but wat to do? one have to conform to culture. Overall, i think it is a good movie, if you are those who love more serious and analytical, political movie..i'll give it 3.8/5.. Make sure u bring a clear mind because to understand movies like this, you have to concentrate. it's not like Madagascar 3...haha...But the fun part of this movie is that you can see Russell Crowe as a fatty. He is really FAT in the movie. I have nothing against ahem…larger size people (cuz I’m one myself)…but still…it’s just interesting to watch a man who has a body to star in “Gladiator” and “Cinderellaman” wear an extra extra extra extra extra few pounds.

Anywayz that’s all for now. Til next time…wish me luck in completing the testis…ooopssss….thesis I mean. ;P

Criminal minds

2008-11-23T02:02:00.000+08:00

Today's "Criminal Minds" was great! I only get to watch repeats of the show on saturday nites becuz in the hostel, the reception for 8TV is really bad.

Today is abt two best girl friends who were kidnapped by some teenage guys. Well, one of them died while the other survived becuz she was trained to be tough, trained to face violence becuz her dad used to be in the mafia. The ending of today's episode was brilliant.

Agent Reid (my fave) was persuading the father to not kill the kidnapper. It goes something like this:

" Your daughter is persuading you to kill the guy. is this wat u want? her future will be violent if you act violently...you promised ur wife be4 she died that you'd take care of your daughter...is this how you take care of her? when will violence stop in your life?"

then...the father has this really great expression on his face...he successfully make u anxious to find out if he would shoot or not and then he said...."Tomorrow" and he shoots!

"Criminal Minds" is a great show. It's not like any other crime solving tv shows. it always try to get to thinkin at the end of every episode. It makes you think abt life - what is right, what's wrong - or is there just a fine line. The show doesn't focus on finding out who the criminal is...sometimes u'll know who the criminal is at the beginning of the show...they focus on how the profiles of the criminals are made and the reason behind each violent or insane act...

I love psychology..i love studying people and that's why this is my kinda show. but of course CM focuses more on those criminals with twisted thinking - unlike the psychology of normal ppl. they give explanation on why certain people act certain ways and the environment that might cause the act.

For example, last 2 weeks episode was also one that had made its mark in me. It was abt a comic artist who witness his gf being raped and murdered by a gang. he doesn't realized it, but after the incident, he was mentally affected. He calls his gf everyday and because she doesnt answer the phone, he tot tat she was mad at him, when in fact she is already dead.

He draws comics - showing how a hero murders evil wolves, without knowing that during the nights, he actually re-anacts his drawings; he as the hero and the gang members as the wolves. the gang members were all brutally killed. The artist has no idea tat he was behind it.

Towards the end, he was caught but sent to the asylum. Everyday he calls his girlfriend just to hear the voicemail. I really pity him. An agent said in the end of the episode - this was one guy she caught that isn't evil. He just doesnt know he's sick. He was a successful comic artist 2 days ago and then suddenly, just because of an incident, he just cracked.

Scary to think that this could all happen to us just like tat. v will never know wat incident can just lead us to insanity.

In terms of the editing and production, CM is very creative in its techniques. It's hard to explain but from what i see, the directors love to try out different techniques in editing, in conveying time and space etc. They use sometimes different colors, different percentage of grain in the film...

It is very difficult to do TV shows, harder than movies and i'm really really impressed with U.S.'s tv productions. TV drama can be so interestingly done and with such tight budgets. "Heroes" and "Supernatural" - these are 2 dramas that i think is really awesome both in terms of storyline and the shooting techniques. I actually got to watch the making of "Supernatural" on youtube and if you see da process of making the show, you'd be really impressed.

It would be so wonderful if i can one day be part of a US production and see how they actually work. i mean, i have been lucky enuff to be part of 2 local film productions during my internship and if possible, i'd really wanna go to the states and compare the production methods.

Anyway back to Criminal Minds...i hv to also mention two of my fave actors in the show - Matthew Gray Gubler and Shemar Moore....Matthew is such a cute geek. He's, i think, the only skinny guy that i'm into haha...Shemar is hot. I just love to see him...This two characters deliver some of the best funny lines in the show...their jokes are very natural and complementing the storyline...i just love them both

These days i'm in love with an old song called "True to your heart" by 98 degrees n stevie wonder. i'm sure u guys know this one from Mulan, the cartoon. i dunno but this song really gets me going haha...

also "in the ayer" is nice and catchy. It just gets u in the mood to shake ya body haha....

anyway got to go now...til next 2 weeks

cya ppl...

tammy the awesomist

p/s: if u r my college mate n if you are actually reading this... go to Youtube and type "With Love from Eugene to YY"; "What if your boyfriend is not around" and "Derique's advice on going to the toilet"...some of those funny moments....;P

Me

2008-11-22T15:53:00.000+08:00

ME

Clumsinesss rhymes with me
I walk as if I can’t see
Prone to different kinds of injuries
Misplaces all my keys
Sometimes even my IDs
That God I’ve never fell from a tree

Forgetfulness rhymes with me
It’s what I call my short-term memory
I would forget where I parked my “Kenari”
Sometimes even how to count to three
Thank God I still remember how to pee

Laziness rhymes with me
I can be as laidback as can be
I can sleep all day under a tree
And wake up only in the afternoon around three

How can I let this be?
I tried very hard you see
Try not to be clumsy, forgetful and lazy
I get nags from my family
But it’s just hard not to be me

But Happiness also rhymes with me
I always feel lucky as can be
I always have people watching over me
Even though there are times I feel lonely
God still gives me my friends and family
So even though I can be silly-Tammy
I’m still me – HAPPY!

Nov-2008

Destiny

2008-11-22T05:18:00.001+08:00

DESTINY

I believe in destiny
I don’t know if you agree
That all good things happen
Especially when you least expect it
With a twist of fate
And like I said
Fairytales and dreams will come true
When you least expect it

I love the word serendipity
A Pleasant and fortunate discovery
Imagine finding your one true love in the city
And finding happiness on the road towards eternity

I don’t want to push some things
But does that mean I have to stand and wait
Sometimes things don’t work out either way
So I guess I’ll make decisions, not hesitate
When things happen, hear the voice
Hope I see the signs and make the right choice

I do believe in life and fate,
That good things come if you wait,
Everything happens for a reason,
So when you’re down,
Just borrow a shoulder to cry on,
For after one road bump, only then will you see the sun,
After losing, only then will you find the right one.

So, never stop believing in wonders,
For they are out there waiting for you,
I know I can’t live everyday with laughter,
But at least, know that hard times will pass through,
It’s that leap of faith that keeps us going sometimes
But what is wrong with believing in good during the bad times?
The waters you sail on might be rough, bumpy and tough,
But if you look back…
Those would be the times you’d share a good laugh.

20- November-2008

rough waters

2008-11-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

21st November 2008

i was actually pretty gay today...i mean, come on...it's the ipoh weekend again! i'll get to taste the sweetness of home after a long 2 weeks wait.

but then my sister have to ruin it for me. I mean, sometimes, the person i cant stand most in my life is my sister. it's like ...we have to end up arguing abt things practically every single day...

My sister and i are complete opposites of each other. Basically, we have nothing, and i can tell you, NOTHING in common except the same set of parents and genes.

We usually never agree on anything. That's the problem.

I am the kiddy type, who loves to take things as they come. i usually follow my heart and my motto is happy-go-lucky. i'm not afraid of taking myself lightly or embarrassing myself sometimes - like jumping around and making a fool of myself just to make ppl laugh.

My sis on the other hand usually takes things seriously. She is always rational and she lives with the word "rational" embedded on her forehead. THings have to make sense before she does it and she feels that decisions must and MUST be made using brains. I mean, i'm not saying that it's wrong to think things over. i do agree that some things have to be mulled over before decisions are made, but for her, it's just a mandatory step in every situation. She hates being embarrassed and if you embarrass her, you're so gonna get from her.

If you just wanna share a gossip or opinion with her...my advice is ...FORGET IT if she's in a crappy mood. and mind you....she live 90% of her life in a crappy mood.

I love to talk...communicating is essential in my life. My sis hates my talking. she always thinks that the things i say are crap. Whatever i say, she'll disregard because she thinks that i'm always wrong.

i think she feels that she's better than me. and the truth is, she is, in so many ways. but i just feel that i shouldn't be treated disrespectfully.

Sometimes...when i talk to her, and if she's in a bad mood, she just won't answer me. Do you know how that feels like? It's like talking to four walls when actually there's another human breathing in your room...

i remember her first day in college. She came back and i was happily asking her about her first day....She didn't answer me. And i was so stupid... i pressed on. She then just scolded me for bugging her and told me that she had a rough first day becuz she can't find any friends.

I was pissed...i mean...GOD! It's only your first day and i remembered my first day. I had no friends either and i had to deal with everything alone. And does that give me the rights to just throw a tantrum at others...especially those who are caring for you?

Sometimes i really do not understand. She gets along fine with my brother...she just doesnt get along with me. Is it my problem?

I treasure my best friend YY alot. It's because that deep inside, i feel that sometimes, YY is like a sister to me. One who understands me even more than my own sister. And she also knows how my sister's attitude is towards me and YY was the one who was always there to console me.

My mum always say that sisters should stick together and not argue...but mum doesnt know...she always ask me last time, why don't i spend more time in the room with my sister. She asked me why do i always spend time in YY's room.

if your sister always think that what you say is nonsense and gives no feedback, would you rather be in a place where at least there are people who would talk to you?

since young, i was like the baby in the family...even though i'm the eldest. this is mainly because of my personality. I am always the 'manja' one and usually i get wat i want because of my ways of getting on the soft side of mum. therefore, my sis is definitely more independent and she is in a lot of ways better than me.

but then i just feel that even though i might be kiddy at times, it doesnt make what i have to say stupid.

today we were arguing abt blogs. Apparently bloggin abt movies is stupid. Well to her! Gosh...i mean, you might wonder why i am so angry just because ppl criticises my blog...i should disregard them right. Correct...! but this is not the first time my sis kept criticizing wat i do. plus it's the way she says it...

she has her own interests and i have mine. I love to blog about movies and music. I love to write. SHe doesnt. So be it. I'm just mad that she just disses my stuff. i know my blog is not great and to tell the truth....my blog is like my personal space...what i have to say and i dont expect people to love reading it. it's just my expression of ideas. it's how i want it to be. it can contain as many words as i want it to have. SO JUST DONT SAY THAT IT'S LAME OR WHATEVER THE EXACT WORD IT IS THAT YOU USE TO DESCRIBE IT. (she always say i manipulate her words. she is particular abt blueprinting the exact words used in a conversation. she is darn particular abt using the exact word for the exact meaning. if you have ur own interpretation of a word that she doesnt accept, then you're wrong. For example, If your interpretation of dirty is 'illegal' in certain context, she might not except it. Maybe she doesnt know the meaning of metaphors. but dont argue with her. pointless - i always lose)

She always compares my blog to another girl's blog, which she loves to read... Well fine! I mean no one is stopping u from reading that wonderful blog but just dont compare us. She told me that the girl say that giving movie reviews are a waste of time... i'm not her and like i said....it is my blog. it's my life, my stories. and i'm different from that girl. Plus, it's not like i force you to read my blog.

I mean you can joke once in a while but today i just feel that it has gone too far and i just can't stand it anymore. Everything i do is wrong. Nothing i do is worthy in her eyes.

Her rudeness is also unbearable. can you believe that even my friend notice that attitude? i mean she is not only embarrassing me in front of my friends...but i think, she's embarrassing herself even more, though she dont realize it.

She is a person who thinks that she's always right...and she never listens becasue she always think she's right. Even my parents say so. if there's one thing that i can say that i'm better, it's that i smile more and i think i hv slightly better attitude. But yea...everything else, i lose.

she's prettier, smarter, more matured, better in sports, more ORGANIZED and CAREFUL and everything....

but then i also hv to admit my weaknesses. i'm not an angel (though she always say i think i am)i'm egoistic as well...and sometimes very selfish when i am dealing with her. becuz when she treats me that way, i tend to not give her the things she wants because i feel that watever i do for her, she wont appreciate. that's y i hog the net when i'm home, and even though sometimes i know she is right, i'll just continue to stand up for my points.

I am probably most unfair to my bro...well i hog the net. but to be fair...he has the net for like 11 days a week and i only get my chance during weekends...so? haha...my sis...well let her rot! hmmpf...

whatever it is ...i just wanna make it clear...

no one has to read my blog if you find it annoying. if you think it's too long, too wordy then don't read it. i know it's wordy..that's y i hv a warning "CAUTION" in the first post. i know i'm a grandmother when it comes to writing...i write crap yes! but that's how i want my blog to be...tat's how i like it. besides, there's always 'treasures' among the crap. ;P (*winks*) it's just how you see it.

and yea, you don't have to like the reviews either. everyone has their own opinions...their own ideas....their thoughts. I know that my sister doesnt like my blog, i accept it. but it's just that today, her repetitious comment was the last straw of other accumulative events.

So people have a nice day while i try to cool down...

but like i say, today is a great day for me despite the drama...i'm so happy to be home!

tomoro will be a challenge...time to start chapter 2 of the thesis....sigh....wtf..

-tammy-

Movies still...

2008-11-22T02:58:00.000+08:00

17th November 2008

The first 1 hour of “Atonement” was boring. It wasn’t that interesting at all for me. In fact, there were moments where I was so lost and had no idea what was going on, or rather, I know what’s going on but I just wouldn’t believe that the storyline is actually that simple. I wanted something more complicated I guess.

Basically “Atonement” is a love story between 2 souls – Cecilia and Robbie. However, due to naivity and jealousy, Cecilia’s sister, Brioni, told a lie about a crime that Robbie did not commit, which caused Robbie to be sent to jail. Brioni had a crush on Robbie and she was just 13 when she saw her sis n Robbie had sex in the library. She thought that he was a sex maniac. I guess she doesn’t understand what was going on and she was also partly angry that Robbie chose her sister instead of her. So, later when her cousin was raped, Brioni, who was coincidentally the witness, pointed the finger at Robbie.

Brioni grew up to understand the consequences of her lies. She had prevented the happiness that her sister, Cecilia and Robbie had supposingly deserved. She wanted to atone for her mistakes, her lie, her sin, but it was too late.

The movie I would say is not that bad if you actually struggle through the first hour. After the first hour, towards the end, things become clearer and you’ll understand why the movie is in chunks – flashback here and there. Sometimes, certain scenes are slotted in, and you just have no idea why the scene suddenly appears at the moment.

At the end, you’ll understand that the movie is actually a true story told by Brioni Tallis in her final book – Atonement. The last scene sees Brioni in an interview, talking about the book. In the book, she wrote about her regrets of what she had done to her sis and Robbie. The couple didn’t get the happiness that they dreamed of – both died early and separately. Brioni basically had lived her whole life in misery because she knew, she caused the pain and the separation of a couple that is in love. Therefore In her book, she gave both of them a happy ending, she said, the happiness that they deserved. That’s how she tries to compensate.

Her quote from the movie, which I loved so much is …
“What sense of hope or satisfaction could the readers derived from an (sad) ending like that? So in the book, I wanted to give Robbie and Cecilia what they lost out on… I like to think this isn’t weakness or evasion…but a fine act of kindness…I gave them their happiness….”

By the end of the movie, you’ll know which part of the movie are fiction, made-believe by the author and the parts that actually happened – the truth. So it sort of unraveled the “frizzles” I had in my head regarding the storyline.

In fact the few minutes at the end of the movie, during the interview with the old Brioni is my favourite part of the whole movie. The old lady who played Brioni is fantastic… she is so brilliant in that part. When she speaks, her blue eyes reflects the sadness and remorse… it’s so expressive that just hearing her talk and say those beautiful words makes one feel her pain.

Yes, she may not be an angel because of what she did, but then again, everyone makes mistakes one and everyone had lied before for their own interest. I’ll be the first to raise my hand in admittance that I too had told lies due to my own selfishness. Of course her lie was in fact more serious but she did bear the consequences of living a life so agonizing. The guilt that she felt, I guess was some sort of punishment.
“Forrest Gump” opens with its signiture score, so beautiful and lovely to the ears. I find myself constantly repeating the opening – not to see the feather fly but rather to hear the music. Anyway, yes, it’s the end of 2008 and only now did I watch this critically acclaimed movie.

So sorry all “Forrest Gump” fans, but haha I guess I expected too much from it so, after watching it, I wouldn’t say it is as brilliant as it was known to be. I mean, it’s a good movie, in terms of storyline. Maybe cinematographically, it’s brilliant. The story is just, hmmm….simple but I guess inspiring to those who feel different, like Forrest. I guess “Forrest Gump” is how the Chinese TVB drama – “Fei Mau” got its English name – “Forrest Cat.” Did you know that the series is called “Fat Cat” (though “Fei Mau” means fat cat) but rather “Forrest Cat”? “Forrest Cat” is also about a man who is a bit slow (you know what I mean) like Forrest Gump. “Forrest Cat” however is funnier if u ask me haha.

I must really give credit to certain scenes though. The sceneries in the movie are very beautiful indeed. The most memorable one would be the beautifully captured reflections of the mountains in the lake while Forrest was running. Also the techniques used to combine the current Tom Hanks with those former US Presidents and John Lennon were really something.

So, now i know that one should watch movie with no expectations. When you have no expectations, you will tend to enjoy it more haha. Whatever it is, i have no regrets watching "Forrest Gump".

I can't wait to watch "Mamma Mia". I love musicals and this is one i know i have to watch. Thanks so much lydia for lending it to me...

Til next time ya...

_tammy the awesomist_

p/s: it's Zouk KL by the way ahha....and my harddrive...=( sorry yy, eugene, kf, lydia n nic...i know it's my fault

~The things I love~

2008-11-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

13th November 2008

Recently I had a chance to watch “The Shawshank Redemption” starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. This movie is basically about the lives of the prisoners in Shawshank prison. Well interestingly, I do notice one thing about prison movies – they always portray those inmates as nice and good people, usually treated unfairly by the prison guards.

I recently also watched a documentary on an American Prison (I forgot which one) and apparently, the most ruthless and dangerous criminals inhabit that place. I guess everyone knows that prison isn’t what you call a fancy place. You get beaten up just like that if you are in the wrong place, wrong time or just because you’re in the wrong gang. According to the documentary, the inmates all say that it is important to have a gang, so that ur butt is protected. And also, it is important to do whatever the gang leader tells you to, if not you’re dead. So basically, if your gang leader asked you to beat someone up, you have to, even though you risk being caught and then be sentence to a few more years in prison. In prison, you have to get your hands dirty for survival.

Also, there are transparent lines in the fields of the prison. According to the prisoners, each gang has their own areas, and they have to stick to their own areas. If they cross the invisible border, they will get beaten up, and that’s when fights among tribes happen. For example, the basketball court belongs to the African-American, the baseball to the Latinos etc.

Basically when I watch “The Shawshank Redemption”, it does give a similar depiction of what a real prison is like, except that in the documentary, the warden is kind but in the movie, the warden is evil. Well, usually in all prison movies, the warden is the villain. Remember “The Longest Yard” and “The Last Castle”?

But at least justice is served at the end of “The Shawshank Redemption”. Yes, although we all know that in reality, sometimes there is no such thing. People with power and money usually control the weak and the poor. If injustice is really going on in those prison, who knows right? In the movies, yes, the lead actor manages to escape from prison, with a new identity and a luxurious life in some beautiful island. Well, we still watch shows like this to feel better about life, to give ourselves hope. In fact, the most memorable line from the movie is actually the lead character saying to Morgan Freeman “Hope is a good thing.” Believe or not, I really believe that. Even though sometimes, when hopes get to high, you’ll feel a much deeper hurt. But sometimes, when we wish or hope, we might just get what we want. Sometimes I guess, we should never stop believing. Besides I really like these prison movies. It shows us that there’s a thin line between evil and good. You think that the cops are good people? Well they can be as merciful, or even worst that the criminals. People make mistakes and I guess that these movies also remind us to understand these inmates. They too are normal human beings, and sometimes, they deserve a second chance.

I truly admire how smart the lead character is in the movie. I mean, it’s his preserverance and his wisdom and intelligence. That’s what got him out of jail. He might be the mysterious, quiet type, who doesn’t know how to express himself, but deep down is a darn intelligent man. And to think that he was in jail for a crime he did not commit, that’s just so unfair. Sometimes, you watch those crime & justice shows and it really makes you laugh. They create the stories as though justice is served everytime. The characters talked as if they would do their best to find the truth and evidence. I’m so sorry but the truth is, sometimes you just get tortured during investigation and you have to admit it just because you can’t take it. Or worst, you are just freakin’ unlucky and all evidence just happens to point at you. Whatever it is, I just pray that I don’t have to land myself into these situations. I’ve heard stories about lock-up. Cops ain’t friends.

“The Shawshank Redemption” is also about friendship. Let’s just say that, I think that some of the best friends are made with those who had actually gone through hard times with you. And true friends are also those who don’t run away when you are in trouble. I think that I’m lucky enough to have a few of these really good friends. But anyway i really really love the ending. Thank God Morgan Freeman didn’t kill himself like Brooks.

The part which made me cry like hell (excuse me for being such a loser, but I can’t stand watching old people sad) was the part when one inmate, Brooks who was release on parole, committed suicide. He was old and he just ain’t used to the life outside of prison. I guess I can totally understand that. He has to try to fit into society that is new to him, he goes home to a lonely four-walled bedroom, lonely and I think also missing all his friends in prison. Plus it is true when they say, in prison, he is a librarian, but outside, he is really nobody, or worst, perceived as an ex-convict. Even for me, fitting in a new place and being lonely is hard to bear, let alone an old man, like him. I can totally relate to Brooks though I am maybe multiple years younger than him. Let’s just say for me, loneliness is my biggest fear haha.

15th November 2008

I guess I’m certified a boring person or maybe couch-potato is the better word that should be tagged on my forehead. Yesterday, or rather this morning, I went to “Zuok (or Zouk, no idea…see I can’t even spell Zuok *slaps head*) KL” with a bunch of friends to celebrate my friend, Siew Lai’s birthday. This isn’t my first visit to clubs, before this I had been to Maison, so ya…this is my second only la…haha. But of course there was excitement before the party because, come on! I mean, it’s Zouk, it’s like one of the most popular clubs in town lar…at least one I’ve heard of. It should be classier.

The moment I reach the entrance of “Zuok”, the first thing that came to my mind is – “I’m going die of chills tonight man!” It’s so cold and these women are wearing practically ahem…nothing. Strapless tubes, barebacks, lowcut haute, shorts, micromini skirts… you name it. I suddenly have great admiration towards these beautifully gorgeous women surrounding me who can look so hot and sexy despite the cold.

The 2nd thing was that, “please please, I just recovered from fever and cold, so please don’t let the cigarrette smoke get the best of me – I DON’T WANNA BE SICK AGAIN!!!!” You might also wonder why do I have to go in the first place if I’m sick…well that’s because I PAID RM30 beforehand and whatever it is, I have to at least consume something from inside or just smell the contaminated air inside Zuok just to get the RM30 worth of money. But at the end of it, it’s to celebrate Siew Lai since she wanted to go to Zuok. (And also to buy the privilege of being able to say “I’ve been to Zuok KL” haha)

Anywayz when I’m in Zuok, I felt like a little kid who’s out of place. I wouldn’t say that it’s culture shock because I have seen all what it’s like in clubs on TV before, haha, but experiencing it is a different thing. Well, Zuok is definitely a nicer place compared to Maison (I also dunno if I got the spelling of this club right) but basically everything is the same. It’s just that I think Zuok plays better music and there were a lot more hot Eurasians there. But sorry la, I’m true to Chris Richardson. ;P

Jokes aside, I must say you have to be extremely confident and extremely open-minded when you visit these clubs. I mean, you’ll be dancing on the dance floor and people will be all around you, watching. Guys especially are fishing for girls and suddenly they’ll just dance by the girl of their choice and have their hands all over. I actually embarrassed myself when I tried to save a friend from being... erm….the better word maybe is ‘admired’. The guy gave me that freaky look, as if I’m being the obstacle of his delicious ‘meal’. Sorry dude! How would I know? I saw him behind her and I pulled her away just like that. I didn’t know there’s a more not-so-obvious way of saving a friend. But then I ask my friend if she was ok with the guy behind her and she say it was fine so I just glide off la… I don’t wanna be the light AGAIN haha.

At around 2 a.m., I felt the exhaustion creeping over me. Usually 2 a.m. is the peak hour of my life, that is, if I’m in my room or house haha, on the Net or maybe watching movies. In the club, it’s like I can’t wait to head home. Okay lar…some might say I don’t enjoy it because there wasn’t any action going on for me haha…true lar, but then, those are not exactly stuff that you would want going on for you right? Not something you can be proud of, right? Haha… Besides, there were some great actions going on for others which I can watch okay…haha…like how JC and Nic got drunk. It seems so easy for the liquor to defeat them haha… Then there were 2 guys who almost fought in the club, and there were some lovey-dovey couples in the club also. IT’s like going to the movies…but it’s just that the storyline is not as interesting as “Tropic Thunder” haha…

Since I’m from a very conservative family background, it’s really hard for me to suddenly transform myself into such a socially-open culture. I mean all girls love to have guys admiring them, of course, we can’t lie right, but then I don’t think being groped by strangers is a form of admiration, at least not in my dictionary. I don’t know the facts, but I think more than half of those who after visiting the club get laid. Girls get drunk just like that. I see them all around, and next to them – the ‘nice’ guy. It’s so dangerous for them and they don’t know it. But that’s just how I see it, my opinion. Some would love clubs for the music, the freedom to express themselves through dancing, liquor and also opportunities. I love to dance and I love music but I think I’ll save all this within the confinement of my room.

If you ask me, it’s pointless bringing your date to clubs. I think I would be a whole lot better and SWEETER if a couple can talk about music or movies or just about life, somewhere by the beach or under the stars - just somewhere simple and quiet. In clubs, you can’t even talk to one another. This morning, I woke up losing my ‘beautiful’ voice due to excessive but futile screaming in the club trying to communicate with my friends.

2.30 a.m. and I’m starting to think that I’d rather be in a book club. See how desperate I am. The music in our room was “house music”, (if we want good music we have to go to the public room, which is packed and we don’t have seats there) and therefore, it was very boring. Then I start to think, (I think I was crazy then) if Chris Richardson likes clubs (which I’m sure he does), I’m not going to like him anymore haha. All ridiculous stuff just crawls through my head at that moment of desperation to leave.

When the clock strikes 3 a.m., I heard something… “HALLELUYAH!!!! HALLELUYAH!! …I see the lights of hope ….few more minutes left and I’ll be home but my throat hurts like hell. DARN IT! Don’t be SICK, I prayed! 3 a.m. and we still had time for mamak. Sometimes I salute myself for the courage to take my health to the next level. But thank God for the Teh O Panas…it kinda saved my poor throat.

We reached the hostel at 5a.m., half dead. I want to say we had a blast, but even though I can’t say that, I can say that I had an experience. At least now I’ll be able to tell everyone that “MUN YI’S BEEN TO ZUOK!!!” For many years, I’ve been known as the goody-two-shoes and as green as the green green grass of home. Now, officially I’ve been to Zuok. (APPLAUSE!! APPLAUSE)

Next time, maybe you guys can have birthday parties in book clubs instead, so that I can compare. Only kidding haha. But more importantly HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SIEW LAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, whatever it is…maybe clubbing is not that bad, just not for me. Different people have different idea of fun. For me, fun is just chatting and laughing with a bunch of friends, watching some DVDs with a cup of my own made iced-Neslo (yum-mee) and my baby bolster, Stylo, around my arms, blogging (also with my baby bolster, Stylo, around my arms) about my favourite things, music and movies, just loafing in the cinemas (unfortunately can’t bring baby Stylo), watching the latest movies, going for an adventurous outing with a group of good friends or just by hanging out by the beach to some good music in tranquility.

The good news…I woke up this morning…perfectly ok!! Except for the usual sinus, I think I should be good…*touchwood*

So I have energy to write about my favourite things in life! MOVIES!!!
I’ve watched like a few movies these few days but so little time to write about them. Don’t ask me about the progress of my thesis because it is not in progress, that’s why I have time for movies still. Sigh. I know…I’m sorry for being lazy but i still can’t do anything about it. But this is important. The most recent one that I love most is “Kite Runner”.

“Kite Runner” is a movie set in Kabul, Afghanistan and also parts of it, in America. SO the film is in 2 languages. The movie opens in San Fransisco, California, with kites in the skies. Then we see our lead, Amir, finding a box in front of his apartment. Inside the box is his masterpiece – his stories; his book. Then Amir receives a phone call from Rahim Khan.

The film suddenly enters a flashback…with kites again in the sky. We see a few kids playing with the kites. The flashbacks were about Amir as a young boy, with his best friend Hassan. Hassan was Amir’s family servant’s son, and also his best friend. However, they have different status. Nonetheless, Amir’s father loves Hassan and Hassan’s father, Ali, a lot. In fact even more than Amir because he felt that Amir was too timid. Amir is therefore educated and loves to write stories, which to his father, is a total waste of time. The only one who enjoys his story and supports him was his father’s best friend, Rahim Khan. (The caller at the beginning of the film) Also, he always reads his stories to Hassan. That’s what they both enjoy doing together.

This is one film in which you really dislike the lead actor. Amir is really a character that I dislike, for his cowardice. Hassan on the other hand, is what a call a man’s man. Hassan stood up for Amir every single time and he would do whatever it is for Amir. Amir on the other hand…was too afraid to stand up for anything, or anyone. He usually just runs away when he sees trouble.

So, apparently kite competitions were very popular in Afghanistan. They have this competition in which you fly ur kites in the sky and you cut down as many kites as you can and if you are the last kite standing, you win. Hassan was the best kite runner and together, he helped Amir won the competition. After you cut the last kite in the sky…usually your friend would run and catch the falling kite and then pass it to the kite runner as souvenir I guess.

Hassan, after getting the kite, was blocked by the village big bully and the bully ordered Hassan to give him the kite. Hassan was beaten up and also sodomised for not handing over the kite to them. Amir, who saw everything just stood there and watch. And said nothing! His friend was attacked and he just watched there….and even ran away. I mean, at least go get some help! Hassan always stood up for him when the bully tried to hurt Amir but this Amir did not do the same for his friend. After that incident, Amir didn’t mention anything to his father, and neither did Hassan. Hassan just became quieter and though Amir knew the reason and truth, Amir told no one about it. In fact, he wanted to get rid of Hassan. He tried many ways to kicked Hassan out of his house. He accused Hassan of stealing his watch. And because Hassan knew that Amir wanted him out, he admitted. Though Amir’s father forgave Hassan and asked them to stay, Hassan’s father, Ali said they are embarrassed to stay. From that day on, Amir never saw his friend again.

Then suddenly Afghanistan was at war and Amir’s father took Amir and both of them fled to America. 20 years passed, and then we see a grown-up Amir. He then got married and then his dad passed away. The story then continues from where the flashback began – when Amir was on the phone with Rahim Khan.

Rahim Khan then told Amir about the death of Hassan and his wife (because they refuse to listen to the militant’s order) and how he had a son, who is now in Kabul, Afghanistan. Rahim also told Amir a secret about Hassan. Let’s keep the secret a secret. Maybe you should watch the movie to find out. Amir was at first, AGAIN, afraid to go to Afghanistan because of the Talibans. But after he read a touching letter written by Hassan to him (Hassan had learnt how to write for him)…he changed his mind. And for the first time, you see a little courage from this Amir. At least he went all out for his best friend’s boy this time.

In the end he managed to bring the boy to America, and give him a good life.

The most touching part in the movie is definitely when Hassan told Amir, “Do you want me to run the kite for you? For you, a thousand times over…” and at the end of the movie…which once again tear me up….when it was Amir’s who told Hassan’s son…”Do you want me to run the kite for you? For you, a thousand times over…”

If you ask me…the “Kite Runner” isn’t about Amir…it’s about Hassan. It’s about a friend who stood up for another friend. It’s about bravery and integrity. Hassan is the character that carries the movie forward. His character develops Amir’s character and inspires us. I might be critical of Amir, but I mean, maybe I’m as timid as Amir, who knows? When face with war and inhuman militants, how many of us would actually dare to stand in front of a gun just to stand up for righteousness? I think most of us would prefer to save our butts haha. But whatever it is, I know one thing, if my best friend were beaten up or bullied, I won’t just sit there and watch okay. Even if I can’t fight the bullies myself, I’ll get help. The film also gives us an insight of the Muslim culture in Afghanistan and the Taliban laws, which can be ridiculous.

Anyway, “Kite Runner” is of course based on a very popular novel, of the same title. I’ve heard of the book before and I know it is a great book. Then I found out about the movie and I know it’s a must watch. I haven’t managed to get hold of the book but Thank God my friend Sze Too has the film. IT’s a fantastic movie. One I shall never forget. Now, I’ll try to find the book in the library. I’m sure it’s gonna be even better.

So, my 3 movie recommendations for now – “The Shawshank Redemption”, “Kite Runner” and “Tropic Thunder” (It’s hillarious).

Since I’m talking about my favourite things this week…haha…I actually wrote a list of my favourite things:

(In no particular order)
1. My Bed & my home
2. Chris Richardson
3. My Music
4. My movies
5. My Bolster
6. My laptop
7. My Friends
8. My Family
9. KL View
10. The Beach
11. The Stars
12. The Television

We’ll see what I can talk about next time. But definitely not football la…my sis was watching football just now…Arsenal vs. Aston Villa and Arsenal lost 2-0. That should explain my sis’s mood but what’s more important is there’s a new hottie in the club. My sis told me his name is Aaron Ramsey… Sorry la but sometimes I just watch a few minutes of football to check some of those hot people play. I know typically useless b***h haha. Anywayz til next time ya.
Take care……..

~Love ~

tammy

Lucky me...

2008-11-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

I was walkin with my best friend in matching outfits yesterday - going to the cinemas. It rained suddenly as i went downstairs to her room. Then after we got all our stuff & walked out...it stopped raining. We walked & was discussing that we should actually get a cab. in case it rained again. We were near a shaded passageway suddenly it start drizzling...we ran to the shaded area & it poured! We started worryin about how to go to the LRT station..there's a long journey of open area at the end of the shaded passageway. When we reached the open area, the rain miraculously stopped n we quickly got a cab and then went to the LRT station. We tot of eating so we walked to a nearby shop. We were about to reach & suddenly the rain started pouring again...but we were just a few steps away so we managed to escape - dry. Then after eating the delicious chicken rice, the rain stop.

I guess u guys are wondering wat the hell am i talking about - rain & all. Well me & my best friend then discussed how nice God is to us actually. We are so lucky. Tat's how i usually feel. I mean, i know that i complain alot, because everyone complains...but at the end of everyday, i really consider myself a really lucky girl.

I get myself into trouble a lot of times, mostly because of my clumsiness & lack of organization. But at the end of everyday la...i wish to look at all those things that happened to me positively - like how those are all chances for me to learn & hopefully mature into someone better haha. Like the harddirve...because i need to fix the hd, i had to go all the way to damansara & had a chance to go to IKEA (my first time). However, the hd issue is still unsettled but the company is willing to exchange a new one. the data is the worrying part but hopefully my trusted computer geniuses (NORYO Computer shop) in ipoh can help me fix the problem at a cheaper price lar.

I remember crying when i found out i was chosen for National Service - how i hated my destiny of being chosen to go for some stupid military training. I hate camps & i hate leaving home! Why me? But today, i can say that i have no regrets going to camp because there i was destined to meet some of the greatest people & also met 2 of my best friends there - Huey Ning & Ah Chin, whom i treasured so much. God has always been nice to me...well usually nice. Every hardship He had me go thru...he would in the end help me thru. Just that, it's not complain-free.

Anywayz...back to movies - one of my fave things in life besides music. As i've already mentioned, i went to the movies yesterday with YY, YY's other half, Eugene & Lydia. I chose to watch "Tropic Thunder" over "Highschool Musical 3:Senior Year" for 2 reasons. One - to give YY & Eugene some alone time (i'm very considerate, see); two - becuz i think that "Tropic Thunder" is more worth the money hahah...it's star-studded!

Any regrets watching "Tropic Thunder" - my answer - no!

Would i watch it again? Yes.

Would i encourage u to watch it in the cinemas? - NO, why?

my advice is just get the DVD. (i'm not mentioning whether it should be pirated, downloaded or original, you figure urself) The DVD is good enough. It's not one of those action or horror movies that you need to spend money on in the cinemas for the sound effects etc. But overall, it is an entertaining watch. It's hillarious, but lame hillarious. The jokes & humor are not distasteful, which i like.

Plus, it stars Ben Stiller & Jack Black - 2 of my fave comedian besides Adam Sandler. They were saying that the movie has some subtle meaning or lessons in it...i however have yet to understand the hidden meaning though. I guess at the end, wat i get is tat one should not try to hard to be someone they are not. Be happy with who u r. maybe a second watch shall enlighten me more. one of my fave scenes is the ending where Tom Cruise dances haha...but then the whole movie itself was nice...

I also had a chance to watch "Premonition" on Astro last Saturday. "Premonition" stars Sandra Bullock & Julian McMahon. I actually like that movie a lot, and i was shocked to read all the negative comments on the movie. it was rated very low on RottenTomatoes, and Rebecca Murray wrote about it negatively in her movie review on About.com. It wasnt tat bad. I mean, ya, it's not like fantastically written or has brilliant cinematography but it has quite a nice twist.

The thing is, people think that it was a time-wasting movie. The movie is abt Sandra Bullock having a premonition abt her husband's death. Now the movie is interestingly arranged in a very confusing timeline. The movie starts with Wednesday...when Sandra found out her husband's death...then she sleeps...she wakes up & she finds her husband alive. It's Monday. Then she goes on with her day...then she sleep...she wakes up...she found that it is Thursday....her husband is dead. Her mum was there to console her.

Then she sleeps, she wakes up...it's monday. She sleeps - comes Friday, which is her husband's funeral. She then wakes up again and it was Saturday & on that day she was sent to the asylum because her mum feels that she is insane due to the stress of her husband's death. Basically the whole story happens in a stretch of one week...Sunday to Saturday. Sandra Bullock has no idea of what she is going thru until Saturday, after being sedated in the asylum. She then wakes up & found out that it's Tuesday. She then get organized & arranged all the events that happened according to the days. Soon she realized that Wednesday is the day her husband died. She can stop it. But because she found out abt her husband's affair, she was in a dilemma of whether or not to save her husband. Sunday came along and she tried to make amends with her husband & their relationship which was falling apart.

Then she sleeps & wakes up to the real Wednesday. She decided to save her husband. She calls her husband while her husband was travelling on the road he was supposed to die. Whether or not he survived...u might have to watch. But from the reviews, maybe u would have an idea already. In the end....most people find it time wasting. I find it quite interesting because the arrangement of the time & space is quite different from other movies. You really have to be attentive to understand the story. However, most people feel that the movie failed to bring out enough anxiety to the mystery elements of the story. I hv no idea why, cuz i was basically jumping off my car in the last scene...over-excited on whether or not her husband will make it. Maybe it's just me haha.

Anyway, i just managed to secure a few other movies from my friend Sze Too. I cant wait to lay my eyes on them. Also next time i wil talk abt "The Shawshank Redemption" - a fantastic movie. Thanks to J.T. Til next time ya..

tammy the great!

Criminal Minds

2008-11-03T16:33:00.000+08:00

1st November 2008

Things have improved since I dropped my hard drive. No, I am still as clumsy as ever, and my hard drive issue had yet to be resolved. But at least now I don’t feel as sad as I was a few days back. See, the good thing is, I get over stuff quite easily, which is good and bad at the same time. I learn things the hard way haha…and I sometimes, NEVER LEARN~! But I am really glad to learn that I have friends who understand and are forgiving. I mean, they are people who know who I am and accept me for being me, though of course they would hope that I change my ways a little too.

Anyway why am I so estatic and happy lately? Well I got to go to the set of Latte@8 at Starbucks Sunway Pyramid last Friday and I got to meet Jason LO!!!!!!! (Will post the photos soon maybe on Facebook) He’s like my fave local artist and though I’ve met him once before, it’s just great to be able to see him live on set. Plus it is a bonus to get to see how a live show is conducted. Basically, it is not much different from what we see on TV, but then of course you get to see the various camera positions, the lighting and the crew members involved in it. It actually reminds me a bit of my internship shooting, just that that was a movie production and is not live.

College has been as slow as ever. The 5 hours of classes per week is not fun at all. I guess all of us missed the multiple hours spent together last time. I’ve been so desperate that I’ve actually visited the library a couple of times this semester. Believe me, it’s desperation in search of activities to fill time (especially when you’re broke). See, I never go to the library – yes, very sad indeed but that’s a different story. Lately, I actually would walk all the way to the college library in search of books. Usually, I am so unmotivated to read because it is so hard to find good books that have a magnetic function but thank God my previous few visits to the library were fruitful.

I’ve just finished “Profiles in Murder”, which is a fantastic book about criminal minds. The interesting part is all the crimes in the book are true stories told by a former FBI agent, Russell Vorpagel, who pioneered the Behavioral Science Unit. Now if you actually watch the TV series “Criminal Minds” (starring my fave Matthew Gray Gubbler) then you would actually have an idea of what this Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI is all about. In the show, the department is known as Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU). I’m a huge fan of the TV series (it's on 8TV) because I enjoy crime solving shows and therefore this book really appeals to me. It’s like translating the show into reality because the stories in the book are real.

BSU or now known as BAU is a department that deals mostly with psychotic criminals and they do profiling of potential murderers. It involves studying crime scenes and clues and then trying to solve the murder by producing a list of personalities or characteristics of a potential murderer. Of course, they not only solve murder case, sometimes they are involved with rape cases as well as prevention of murder. These agents delve into the minds of the criminals, trying to understand why they do certain murder. You’d find the craziest and insane true murder stories in this book. Believe it, there are really some disturbed people out there. They are just ruthless and cruel, but mentally unfit. Sometimes, as much as you want them punished in hell, you really don’t know if you can blame them.

Wikipedia's definition: "The mission of the BAU is to provide behavioral based investigative and/or operational support by applying case experience, research, and training to complex and time-sensitive crimes, typically involving acts or threats of violence. The program areas addressed include Crimes Against Children, Crimes Against Adults, Communicated Threats, Corruption, and Bombing and Arson Investigations."

There were a few memorable cases, but it would be difficult to tell them in details here. One involved a guy who kills just so he can feed on human blood because he thinks that his blood is intoxicated and he needs fresh blood to survive. Then there is one about a guy who sodomises little boys and then in the end his fantasies with little boys drew him to murder.

The most insane thing that I’ve learned in this book is autoerotic deaths. Autoerotic means sexual feelings or gratification self-induced without having sexual relations with another human. It can be categorized into dangerous and nondangerous. The nondangerous type is familiar among us la – pornography, masturbation etc. But it’s the dangerous types that stunned me. The dangerous types involves inflicting tortures on oneselve to get the sensation – like hanging oneself to get the suffocating sensation or stiffing carbon monoxide.
This is one interesting and ghory case in the book. It’s about a male victim seated on his chair and in shorts and socks. He had his 2 fingers and an ear cut off. His penis was on the floor and scrotum in his mouth. Looking at the scene, authorities would definitely suspect foul play = murder. However it turns out to be an accidental death. What led Vorpagel to think that it was an accident was because this man was wearing his shorts. According to Vorpagel (the agent), it is uncommon for killers to put the victim’s shorts back on. An autopsy was run and it revealed that the fingers and the ear were in the man’s stomach and also drugs. This man is into autoerotic behaviour – which explains everything.

Another interesting part of the book is how the agent uses clues in the crime scene to determine whether the case is an accident, murder or suicide. Sometimes, some scenarios may look like suicides but are actually accidents. Some looks like accidents but could be murder etc. The case above was an example of how sometimes crime scenes can be misleading and we cannot judge a crime scene just by looking at it. We have to go deeper and think. Why does it matter you ask? Apparently it does because if it is suicide, the insurance company doesn’t pay. So usually the insurance company will try to push that the incident is suicide. Also if it is suicide, the family members usually feel tremendous amount of guilt and pain. They usually would blame themselves.

Vorpagel’s motive of writing this book is to get people to train coroners and authorities involved in crime scenes (Police officers etc). According to him, a stylist goes through more training than coroners or law enforcement personnels. Some coroners mistaken small animals as babies, pronounce homicides as suicides. To him, if they are not properly trained, crimes cannot be accurately solved. I think it’s so true. I mean, after reading this book, you just feel that investigating a crime scene is just not as simple as it looks. We really need trained, professional people with logic and brains in the field in order to correctly decipher the happenings of the crime. The book is a really good read and if you are a TARCIAN you can borrow it from the library haha. I’ll return it soon.

Anywayz that's all for now...gonna post about a few movies i've watched in the next installment

take carezzz....

With lotsa love & hugs,
tammy the awesomist...
;)

2008-10-27T02:29:00.000+08:00

Time for some music! ~Wicky-wicky wang wang~ (Sound effects)

It seems that everyone hates my songs selection. Hmm...i wonder why? I mean, i understand i love songs that are not mainstream, and actually, very un-Malaysian songs. For those who doesn't know me, i'm a huge fan of American country music. i have no idea why but i love 'country' stuff - the Texan accent and those hottie cowboys hehe....just so you guys know la, jensen ackles is from Texas hahaha....Chris Richardson too is from Virginia. I am starting to think that i could be from the South in my past life. haha...

Currently, i am so into Martina McBride, Taylor Swift, Rascal Flatts, Sara Evans, Jessica Andrews, Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley, Kellie Pickler, Keith Urban and the not-so-country ones i love Jon McLaughlin, Colbie Caillat & John Mayer. And recently, i just found a new liking for classical songs and oldies, i have no idea why.

My bro & sis and now even my cousins are dissing my music selection. Well now i'm known as an old soul stuck in a young body. But then again, it's not like i dont listen to modern, contemporary songs okay. I like hip-hop & RnB too okay. But i prefer those songs which can actually be sung la haha i.e. slower ballads and country music. Actually wat's wrong with a 21-year-old liking slow or older songs ya? I dunno but i kinda appreciate those meaningful songs. Like i mentioned before, i admire those songwriters who can capture the essence of life in just a few lines. i mean, just 4 to 5 words, but deep in thoughts.

Some songs that you might wanna try listening to:

Martina McBride's songs are brilliant. I love those very motivational ones like "Anyway" and "Blessed".

"Anyway" is a song about doing things anyway. It's about taking that extra step even though you think that things might not work out the way you plan or want it to. I guess this song motivates one to act. Personally, this is the best advice for me, because it is always difficult for me to take that first step. Sometimes you can be very excited and fired up about doing something, but when it actually comes to doing it...i'm, sadly, usually more talk than action la. Sorry to say, but it's kinda true. So now, i am trying my best to take a tiny, itzy bitsy step into taking actions.

"Blessed" - the title says it all. Well i love this song becz i can relate to it too...i always feel blessed in life even though i know i'm not perfect and i usually screw up. but for someone like me, i feel tat God has given me practically everything. I mean, there are of course times when i am very ungrateful and i complain la...but still,most of the time, i'm glad to have the people around me and usually, i'd like to think that the things that happen around me are blessings in disguised. But Martina McBride sings about her husband and children - if i were to rewrite the song - it'll be about my family and my friends.

Mayberry by Rascal Flatts

this song is about our fast paced life in this modern society. the song reminisce the times where everyone is close-knitted in their villages and how today, all people think about is work. Then there's pollution etc. Chris Richardson actually sang this song on American Idol on Country music week...He always sings my fave songs haha.

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

When a man found out that he has not much time to live, he told his friend that - he went skydiving, rock & mountain climbing, he loved deeper and spoke sweeter....he gave forgiveness he had never been able to give and he became the husband and the man his wife had always wanted him to be...so his advice is - live like you were dying. i think it's true. That's wat i always try to do now. I eat watever i want now, because if i die tomoro, i dun wanna missed out on my fave ice-cream or my fave pepperoni flavored pizza. Sometimes it's applicable, but just don't overuse this theory. haha...like i'd always like to think - why study? if i die tomoro, i dun wanna be buried in a stack of notes, and have the thought that i actually bullied my brains into mulling over those thousands of little wordings. But then again...when you fail, you'd also think - i dun wanna die failing my papers la...so u guys do the judging. But watever it is ...the song just reminds us to appreciate life!! Live life to the max!!!

Try to listen to all Taylor Swift's songs. Taylor Swift is by far one of the best songwriters. But she writes mostly love songs, which actually relates to teenage girls (like myself) very well. I mean, she always writes about her crushes and how she won't be able to be with that guy, stuff like tat. I guess a lot of girls can relate to tat. Plus her lyrics are so simple but yet can describe a situation so aptly. That is truly amazing.

My 3 most favourite Taylor Swift songs have to be "Tim McGraw", "Our Song" and "Stay Beautiful".

Tim McGraw is not about the singer Tim McGraw, but rather asking the guy to think of her when he think of Tim McGraw. When i hear this song, i picture a romantic situation of a girl and her guy dancing on a hill, under the stars, with a pick-up truck behind them. Okla...forgive me, but girls are still girls ok. We still like a bit of romance ya. And secretly, i hope that Chris Richardson will also think of me when he hears Tim McGraw hahaha....*slap* slap* (=.=) ok i'm awake!

Our Song is so fun. The irony in the song is she is in search for a song that can be the song for her & her bf, but in the process of searching, she actually wrote a song for her and her bf....and "Our song" (a song abt not knowing wat song to make it "Our song") became their song. I dunno wat i'm crapping but nvm..it's a very fun song which i totally enjoy. Brilliantly written.

Stay Beautiful is very descriptive of what i wanna say to all my previous and current crushes (CR, JA) haha. It's tellling them that watever it is, they are wonderful people, and hopefully one day they'll end up in front of my door haha. But then if you and I are a story that never gets told, or they are just daydreams that i'll never get to hold - just stay beautiful haha.

I have so much more cool songs actually but now can't think of it ....

Once again, i have to stand by my songs. I'm so fed-up, so i told my bro n sis - i'm gonna marry the guy who actually likes my songs!! Haha....

Since my cousin Shereen is getting married soon, i wanna give her a present

So here are my Top 5 Recommended Wedding songs

(though some might once again consider them boring)

5. Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts

"Every long lost stream, Led me to where you are,

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars,

pointing me on my way, into ur loving arms,

This much i know, it's true...tat God Blessed the Broken road that led me straight to you"

4. I Do (Cherish You) by 98 Degrees

This is a typical wedding song...just watch the video

3. I'll Take My Chances by The Click Five

Marriage, to me, sad to say, is like a gamble. No matter how badly we want a fairytale ending in a relationship, sometimes, reality still sinks in. Even the Click Five agrees that every relationship is a gamble. So..."I'll take my chances with you" hehehe...I mean, hopefully, we can make it through together, through the hard times and the happy times. But then again...take it positively haha.

2. A Love Song You Might Hear in a Wedding by Jon McLaughlin

The title itself suggests tat it is a song for a wedding
I really love this track but it is super darn slow and for those of you who really dislike slow monotonous song - beware! Stay away from this song. My bro actually feels that all guests would run away if u play this song in ur wedding....but then again...it's stil a beautiful song, so i think it should make my list

"I need love, i can't see,

i'll be alright now, with you by my side,

and if tomorrow, you're gone, and i still go on,

i promise to spend the rest of me on you...

People say we are where we belong,

we hold each other's hand as if we are holding on,

And to me, a little of your you,

Is like a little bit of sun makes the moon..."

1. From This Moment On by Shania Twain

"From this moment, i have been blessed, i live only for ur happiness, and for ur love i'll give my last breath, from this moment on...

I give my hand to you with all my heart, I cant wait for to live my life with u, can't wait to start, you and i will never be apart, my dreams came true because of you..."

This is the most beautiful wedding song ever. I think if this song is played in a wedding, it will stimulate tears...or maybe it's just me?

The list is just for fun la....dun trust me cuz i'm "boring" haha. but seriously, give those songs a listen. there are pretty good.

Til next time....c ya

i hope u like the new Supernatural skin ...

2 hot guys to adorn my blog hehehe....i wish it had some pink though...

With lotsa Love & kisses & hugs & pepperoni cheese pizza,

Tammy the awesomist!!

p/s:

dun bully ur brains by trying to decipher who my crushes are haha...

CR = Chris Richardson; JA = Jensen Ackles

2008-10-26T01:01:00.001+08:00

25 october 2008

I'm freakin' useless!

Okay...the thing is, i dunno how well u know me...but if u actually know me very well then you'd actually know how clumsy and messy i am as a person. YuP! And i always screw up! Yes! That's me...just a few hours ago...once again i messed up big time....I DROPPED MY HARDDRIVE!!!!! it's kinda new and it cost RM300!

I cant even understand myself...how can i be such a clumsy person...it's not like i dun try to becareful...but sometimes, the more careful i am, the worst case scenarios happened. but yea...today's incident was really my fault...i was letting me parents view some "cool" pics of me n me pals in Penang when suddenly i remembered the lovey-dovey pics of YY n Eugene which i haven't filter...so i just grab my laptop and pull it away from my parents' view and forgetting completely that my laptop is connected to my hard disk. the whole hard disk just fell to the hard-cold merciless floor =(....thank you. that's how it all happened and that was when i realized that. all my drama footages could be "vapourized" ....ZAP!! Gone just in that minute or rather second...the "best" part is...it happened right in front of me dad. Yep! 300 bucks just flew right out of the window right in front of him....Dad knows me well enough and he is just fed-up with me hahaha....he didnt even bothered to scold me...it's like he just give up. I am so ashamed. God!! i know!! i'm 21 but still am a kid. i still need people to take care of me and jaga my stuff. but wat can i do really?? i mean, it's not like i dont try....maybe not hard enough but really i've tried so hard to do things right. and the times when i actually did things right, no one notices. They only see my faults (which of course i admit happen quite frequently). But i am not blaming anyone but myself.

I remembered during my internship, i lost my dad's proxy card to his apartment. The first time i lost it, it was 3am in the morning and i was darn tired so ....yea..s*** happens....i got hammered by dad but was forgiven. SO the next time, i made sure that those cards were hung around my neck like the bells around the cows' neck, you know....but still i had no idea how it can just slipped out from that ring of keys right without me noticing. i search the whole Putrajaya for that darn card that day. i fret my destiny if i drive home to dad telling him tat i've lost the card for the 2nd time. This time though, dad again was fed-up. When dad is fed-up, he doesnt scold you....That's the best part...he talks very nicely to you but with that kinda "wat-do-i-do-abt-this-kid look"...which triple or multiply ur guilt level. that's when you feel so ashamed and useless - like how i'm feeling now.

mum always remind me that i'm already a big girl - 21. I understand...But i just enjoy being small and a kid. and my brain has some kinda disability. it cannot think ahead sometimes and tat makes me say stupid stuff and do silly things which messes everything up. So to everyone that i've offended or feels that i'm too idiotic...i take this chance to say i'm sorry becuz most of the times i have no idea what i'm doing and usually there are times tat i really regret wat i did or said. i will try my best to grow up and be more matured ....it's really hard but i'm still trying to upgrade my system.

but now my brain just cant stop processing the problem of my not functioning-anymore-harddrive which is now silently sitting inside my laptop bag...sigh...i only have myself to blame. Now i just hope my group members would forgive me for ruining all the footages. i think those who will be pissed would be my best friend YY (though she won't scold me, but i think she would be disappointed), Kim Fatt (who reminds me of my dad most of the time so i am very scared of him now...), Nic (because he still wants the footages and now tat it's all gone...i hv no idea wat he would say), and Lydia (she could be silently mad, i hv no idea). Eugene, whom i am most NOT AFRAID of hahahahhaha....should be okay with it. but watever it is...I AM SO SORRY GUYS!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully when monday comes along, i'll be able to go to the headquarters and get the hard drive fixed! Hopefully the warranty is valid yea....and hopefully i can lie my way thru....sigh...GOD PLZ HELP ME....see my pitiful eyes <=.=>

i'm now not even in the mood to watch movies because of this...plus, i still have to do my thesis, which is a drag. it's tough because i dunno where to start....so i'm kinda stressed out here....

but yea....hopefully i'll live through this few days and the sun will shine brightly as ever again on my working hard drive...yay...let's look at the bright side lar...if not cannot sleep...

Besides, fife is too short to not enjoy it, especially when you're still full of life and energy...maybe next time...when i'm in the mood...i'll share with you my aunt's love story - which after hearing it, girls you just feel that you have to make sure you choose the right partner. or else, you'll end up very lonely and miserable; like you're not worthy of living anymore. I don't know why but i guess i kinda know how my aunt feels right now. But at least i still have my parents with me and my friends...plus all i hv to worry now actually is not getting a partner, but rather getting my hard drive fixed (without having to chip in cash cuz i'm broke)!! See how my brain keeps dragging that issue back to the main part of thinking system....

okay no point dwelling here anyway..

i just took some chinese herbal crap tea....which fortunately is working...and now i'm actually feeling very dizzy and therefore i think that it's time to rest. It's just tat today is really quite a terrible day becuz i had to wake up early....drive 4 hours back to Ipoh and waited at the "singshe" (is tat even a term for the chinese doctors? no idea) for like 2 hours....so my whole afternoon was spent in the clinic, adoring how cute those little children were...i think i even fell in love with on of the cute little boy there...but that's another story la.....yea..basically my whole afternoon, which i am supposed to have my beauty nap was just gone like that...i was actually reluctant to go to the clinic, but since my dad n grandma was insisting and since i'm such a 'filial' kid ;P, i just couldnt say no to them...

Okay so then i came back home, had a bath and thought yay, finally can enjoy - go online and stuff...then came the harddisk incident which completely top the chart for the most terrible incident of the day! It beat missing nic's birthday party! Sigh...life...!!$&#*Q$ totally unexpected....

Nevermind...life must go on! I will now sleep

Good nitezzzzzzz

Tammy the not-so-awesomist

2008-10-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

21 October 2008

Love is in the air!

Well I started with this quote because I feel that the cupid is working its magic on my friends. Yup it seems like many are in love. It’s so weird. One of my guy friends is in love with my best friend, another best friend of mine is in love with another guy friend of mine and then there were a few other rumoured couples in the class.

Love is such a complicated thing ya…I mean, first there are so many definitions for the word “love”…then there is the question of what type of love and how does “love” feels like. Then some people would confuse you further by asking you to differentiate love and like. What the Hell?!! I for one don’t know anything about love. Yes, I love my parents. That was easy to say, but, how to prove it? Does love need proof anyway? Is familial love is easier to understand? I guess. If you ask me, I guess it’s like you just want to see that person happy and you try to be there for that family member that you love when they need you. Or, sometimes, just because you lie to them because don’t want them to feel sad. I admire most the love and sacrifice a parent give to their child. I’m 21 now and if I were “lucky” enough to be a mum now, I don’t think I can even do half the things my mum or dad had done for me. Just simple examples would be how mum would eat less so that we can have an extra share of our favourite dish, or maybe make some delicious juices or beverage for us when we are stressed out with exams, plus then she has to take care of the whole household, cook and clean the house (The things that I dread doing) My dad has to work everyday, regardless of his mood. He has faces so many challenges at work, without complain. Sometimes, it’s like he has to keep all his problems to himself just because he doesn’t want us to worry. SO I’d really want to take this chance to say a HUGE HUGE Thank you to my parents for being such great parents.

I then ask myself…is love as in boy-girl relationship’s love the same? If it is then, how can people differentiate their love for their guy & gal friends from their love for their special guy/galfriends? WAH!!!!!!! Very de complicated!! Maybe I feel confused because what I write is coming from a brain of an immature 21-year-old who knows nuts about love and relationships. I mean, seriously, I’ve never been in a relationship before but I’m very very idealistic about love hehehe. I’d always like to think that I’d find the guy that has all the qualities I want. I don’t expect the guy to be perfect in other’s eyes, but just in my eyes. I guess that you can always imagine how that someone would be like, but when love strikes you, I guess that person might not be what you have in mind. As I grow up and look around me, I hate to admit that the chances of me getting my dream guy are near zero. I mean, I noticed that many people usually ends up with someone who is a complete opposite of what they initially want in a partner. Let’s see, I want a guy who is buff and hunky and witty, and has a lot of similarities with me. So I guess I’m getting something opposite – skinny, boring and not compatible with me. ARGH…

But whatever it is, love is still a complicated feeling, which I have yet to understand. I mean, I’ve had crushes, but then again, are crushes = love? And even if you fall in love, you can fall out of love. Can love be forever? In today’s era, getting married is just like a game. People get married and sometime later, they file for a divorce. Marriage is not permanent and could be just a false promise. It’s not that I don’t want to get married or that I don’t believe in marriages, but they is definitely a slight concern because, sad to say, I don’t trust guys la (no offense, but it is true)

Whatever it is, I’m really happy for my bestie, YY; I hope she had found the right guy in Eugene. Maybe they still need time to develop their relationship becuz they just started the dating game, but I guess if everything goes on well, I’ll be wearing my bridesmaid dress soon hahaha…..YY remember! I’m ur bridesmaid! Well, when your best friend starts dating, you have to make a lot of adjustments too you know. Like me, I have to do a lot of things differently. Last time, I was usually glued to YY wherever I go – movies, shopping, sight-seeing or late night chattings. Now, even though YY say that I can still stick to her, but a considerate friend should know how to leave some time for her and her new bf right? So I find myself left alone and had to join another group of friends. I mean, it’s okay, it’s just that sometimes it’s kinda weird… just not having the best friend who practically knows everything about u around. Thank God Lydia (another best friend of mine) is still around, but Lydia has her own set of love issue, waiting to be solved. Well…yeah, like I said, very complicated. Let’s stop there. Haha

Well talking about college, it’s like our fifth semester and college life is actually coming to an end. These few days had got me thinking about all the stuff that I’ve been through so far in college. This semester is so boring. We only have 3 days of classes and I don’t really get to hang out with many of my college friends.

I so miss the times we did our assignments – shooting and, especially editing together. See, I’ve developed a brother-sisterly affection for all my group mates. This is because they were the ones who had gone through the hard times with me, under very very stressful conditions. I guess if you can actually work with or stand someone under those pinning situations, then you know that person is one that you can work with. I mean, when we were actually working on the assignments, our stress level is very high and many times, we get on one another’s nerves. But when everything is over and you recall back, you actually missed those times. During our shooting, we hate that we have to go back late practically every night – sometimes 2 a.m. but now, I sit in my hostel room, with nothing to do and I wish I could go back to those days where we had to work till 2 a.m. The 5 days of editing in See Yeong’s house will be the highlight of my life for quite some time. The 5 days there was tortorous as we had limited resources for editing and the amount of pressure was pressing against each of us. There was no time to waste and my best friend had shed quite a couple drops of tears. But I guess those are the times that I reminisce and would actually go through again. To be fair, I actually had the least to do during the editing stage haha. I just helped out very little, cuz I have to leave it to the pros. I was there just to mess things up a little haha. But those five days created a stronger bond between us. I got to know YY even more, you know, what are her demands when she works (she’s quite professional and she works darn hard to achieve what she wants) but she can be quite fierce and bad-tempered under stress haha…but she will only scold the guys lar…KF is the most laidback and calm person I’ve ever met. He was the one who was there to solve problems when everyone is in confusion. Once YY thought she lost one whole part of the drama, and she started to cry (I totally understand why – we are running out of time) KF was the one who searched the files one by one and managed to recover the file. Honestly, haha, KF was the one, who got on our nerves the most during shooting, but I can’t believe I’m saying this but he is the best when it comes to editing. One thing I’ve learnt about this group member of mine is that, even when he says he doesn’t know something, it means he knows. He knows stuff but he doesn’t say it. Plus his lame jokes sometimes can get u through stuff. But sometimes you just wanna slap him on the head. As for Eugene, hmmm….haha…he was in love with YY during our editing, so it all makes sense now that at that time when we were editing, he tried hard to impress YY. Eugene is very patient and during the shooting, he was the best because he listens to everyone’s opinions. But of course, during editing, he wasn’t shining because he doesn’t know the editing softwares well. He has been trying hard (sometimes TOO HARD) to learn and improve though and one thing about Eugene is that he will change if he wants to. Eugene now has to learn how to be more confident because whoever dates YY has to be very confident because she’s a guy’s girl. She has many guy friends and Eugene has to now learn how to overcome his insecurities. But I guess Eugene can do it. He’s really working hard for YY, which is good. I hope they can last. Lydia has learnt to stand up for herself and became more confident when working, so I guess it’s a very good thing. Before this, during editing, I was always pairing YY and KF, Eugene and Lydia…hmmm…I guess I got it wrong. I am not born a match-maker indeed. Hahaha. Whatever it is, I treat this few friends of mine (YY, Lydia, KF and Eugene and even See Yong) as sisters and brothers (though they might not treat me the same) Plus, among the bunch, I’m the youngest and I love being the little sister for once, since I’m the eldest in my family.

As for me, I also discovered that I can be darn relaxed and lazy even when the dateline is approaching. I was the one who jumped and played around but I tried to calm the others who were stressed out okay. I had no fear the first 3 days and it was until the 4th and 5th day that I started to panic a little. Anyway all these were some memories that I’ll keep forever in my mind.

That's all for now ya ;)
take carezzzzzzz

(A group pic of the crew of S.H.E Balls!)

From left: Elyssa,Nic,YY,Eugene,Lace, KimFatt, Lydia & ME!!!

Something to ponder on...

2008-10-05T15:00:00.000+08:00

5th October 2008

First of all, I have to say this…I can’t believe that I actually did not watch the greatest war movie (in Hollywood that is) until now. I’m talking about “Saving Private Ryan”, which I guess many of you guys out there had already watched it. Well to be honest, I’m never a fan of war films, sorry, but they are kinda boring. I mean, guns, tanks, weapons and ammos (which are supposed to be bullets, right? is that even the word?) are so not my thing. Haha… I mean, wat we see in war films are all the soldiers in war, and them bombing each other. But war films are usually very touching and inspirational, and that’s the only thing I like about war films. (Besides all the darn hot, macho and good-looking soldiers tat is) So of course not being a war film fan just subdued my drive to watch that movie. When it was broadcasted on TV, I chose to go online and watch Youtube. But come on, it’s “Saving Private Ryan”, an Oscar-winning film! People talk about it and being a broadcast student, how can I not watch a movie like this rite? Plus it’s by Steven Spielberg, one of the greatest and most brilliant directors to ever grace our planet…

Okay so no regrets watching, though yes I still stand by my point of view that there were some really boring fighting and bombing sequences that I feel like fast-forwarding haha. Okay, so I’m a peaceful person, alrite…but then again the storyline was brilliant and the war scenes were perfectly portrayed to mirror the real war situations. I also watched the making of the movie and I can’t believe that all the actors actually went through a boot camp and was trained by a real Captain. Apparently, boot camp was hell! Yeah, wat a ‘shocker’! haha… but yea…even Tom Hanks had to go thru those training, when he can in fact pull out. I guess these actors are really committed. One thinks that being an actor/actress is all about glory and fame, but I guess there are some really brilliant and professional actors/actresses out there who take their professions seriously and as a form of expression. Unlike Paris Hilton...ahem…did I just say tat? Oops! Anyway when I hear them describe boot camp, I know for one thing that …I can never attend boot camp haha. Imagine sleeping outdoors, even under the rain and eating watever there is to be eaten and still have to undergo tremendous hardcore physical training, plus learning abt weapons! Definitely not something I can imagine myself surviving. Then you think, last time, men were forced to undergo these training, whether they like it or not. All of them hv to serve their nation, whether they are willing to or not. In war movies/films, there is always one character who is strugggling because of their timidness. It’s like they are angry at themselves because they just can’t go out there and do great things like their mates. I guess I can somehow understand that feeling. I mean, how can you be one of them if you are not like them? You try to be brave but the truth is, how? Some people are just not born to fight. The movie also almost accurately portrayed war because the director really did his research and the veteran soldiers actually helped with the description of war. The opening scene at the Omaha Beach was the highlight to many because of it’s intensity in depicting the real Omaha Beachhead assault which happened in June 1944. When I saw the making of the movie, they showed a clip of a doc which showed the Omaha beach event, and it was so similar to how Spielberg made it. Spielberg then combined this incident with a true story about the Niland brothers, which in the movie, is altered to the Ryan brothers. Well briefly, it’s about how 3 Ryan brothers were killed in combat and the authority plans to save the 4th and last brother of the Ryan family so that the mother wouldn’t have to lose all her sons. The authority made this decision becuz prior to this case, there was a case of the Sullivan brothers, in which 5 brothers in battle were on a same ship, and when the ship sank, all 5 of them drowned and died. The grief bore by the Sullivan and the Americans were so deep that a rule was initiated to not allow brothers to serve under the same company or mission. In the Ryan’s case, all 3 brothers in all 3 different companies died in 3 different battlefields. Therefore the Army General orders that the 4th brother be brought home to the mother safely, if possible. It’s what they call a public relations mission – very aptly named.

I am a broadcast student but honestly haha, I’m not good with all those cinematographic aspects (yet I hope). I prefer to explore the themes and meaning of one particular movie. The making however gave me an in-depth insight into the whole production of the movie and I am truly awed. It is definitely a huge huge production, one I believe that is hard to find in Malaysia. The largest one produced in Malaysia was Puteri Gunung Ledang, but still, I think nothing compared to this. I saw how there were so many extras involved, the costumes itself were all made especially for the movie; then there were the firearms which were a combination of real and rubber weapons which looked real. Then there were also the explosive, stunts and wow! To ensure safety of every cast member, the crew were only able to take a few shots a day and I kinda understand how that felt. During internship, I always hope they can finish taking their shots so that I can go home early. I think working in a movie like “Saving Private Ryan” would be far more exhausting than “Duhai Si Pari-Pari” (the one I was training in). But I guess seeing how amazing the whole production was is so interesting that I guess I’d really wanna be part of some of these productions. The great thing about this movie is that everything is so particular and precise – from the set design to the sound effects. I mean, these people really studied the sound of the firearms, the environment, and even how each *ping* sound of the gun matches the scene. Also they reference from documentaries and other movies to try and make it more surreal for the audience. It’s Crazy! Then there’s the set…the actually went to France and select some buildings and built the models in England. Then they carve the shape of the ruins and stuff. I truly am amazed! They even have an original score composed for the movie. Every single detail of the movie is done based on research, even the Abraham Lincoln letter. The preparation for the movie itself I think can take months or even a year. If I’m doing it, probably it can never be completed since I’m quite the “hangat-hangat tahi ayam” type haha. Tat means I am enthusiastic in the beginning, but the fire just mellows half way thru haha.

The opening scene at the Normandy memorial in France was breathtaking! Notice how the crosses are perfectly aligned and straight. That is actually my favourite scene because of the breathless view and the emotional delivery from the old man who plays the old Ryan. The look in his eyes is so significant and you can tell the pain and gratitude through the eyes. I think anyone who actually visits that place, whether or not they hv relatives buried there, will shed a tear or two. Even I can’t hold back my emotions when watching the last scene. I hate to cry when watching movies. Sigh but had to. Anywayz, in my opinion, this movie also questions one issue besides the insanity of war. Tom Hanks said in the movie…that when he kills an enemy, his rational is, he kills one to save 10 or 20 or maybe 20 times more. But when he sets out on the mission to save Private Ryan, he is sacrificing his team and himself for one. He then adds of course that saving this Ryan will earn him his rights to go home. But then again, as soldiers one cannot actually question the orders of the authority right? Private Reiben played by Edward Burn also said is this private worth risking 8 men’s live for. Even Matt Damon who played Ryan was curious. Why he deserved to go home and not any of his brothers? (meaning other soldiers) I guess he was partially right. But when you come to think about it, it is difficult to determine right and wrong when making these sorts of decision. For one thing, the Army has to consider the private’s mum…the consequences if she loses all her sons. But then, did they consider James Ryan’s decision; he doesn’t want to go home yet. He feels he has responsibilities as a soldier and he wants to fulfill them. He cannot leave his remaining ‘brothers’. But then according to Steven Spielberg the main theme of the movie is how you find decency in war. I guess it’s true. It’s hard to be human when in the battlefield. If you don’t kill others, others might kill you. But to the Tom Hanks who plays Capt. Miller and his rangers, maybe saving Private Ryan is the decent thing that they can do. but i think the mini series "Band of Brotherhood" (which is also produced by Steven Spielberg, together with Tom Hanks) explores that theme even deeper. Everyone thinks it's cool to hold a gun, but i think it really takes guts to actually fire the gun at someone. I can only imagine how it would be like to be in a situation in which u'd have to stay alive under desperate conditions, plan ur next strategy to defeat ur enemy while having to carry a heavy load of weapons. Then when the time comes, you even have to shoot someone. THen when u think back, it's like, the person u shoot could be just like u, desperately afraid and want to survive. but u hv to shoot or die. War brings out the other side of human, i guess one that u urself don't know. i reckon that war is the time that propels one to do things that they can never imagine themselves doing in a civilized world....it's beyond civilization.

But if we concentrate for a moment on hot guys in the movie rather than the warfare, i recommend u girls to pay attention to Edward Burns. He is so cool in the movie...haha....i dislike him on "27 Dresses", well just becuz i prefer James Marsden. Anyway Edward Burns is so stylish and he really has got attitude in this one. There was also one funny joke he told in the movie...abt boobies hahah....hillarious. It's something like this...he was telling his troop mates abt the most meaningful thing a woman had said to him before basics...she has very large breasts and she was trying on a very tight corset (if i'm not mistaken, i forgot) and she was making her breasts look very ..ahem large. He said he can't stop staring at those things and she caught him staring at her...and she called him over. She told him...when u go to war, and when u are experiencing the most trial and upsetting times, do me a favour...u think and picture "these" (meaning her extreme boobs). so now he says whenever he faced the hardest of times, he will think of that...and now i bet i will too....hahaha...but dun get misleaded here...i'm not tryin to be dirty...i'm just sharing a joke

(Oskar Schindler - the man!)

Oky back to serious...I've just finish watching "Schindler's List" also directed by Steven Spielberg. It is another very touching movie, about the holocaust and Nazis. I think that movies like this are the most inspiring and they give us something to ponder on. We should sometimes look back in the tragic historical events and only then will we feel the gratitude of being here today. After watching this movie, i think that this man -Oskar Schindler is truly a hero, not only to the Jews, but i guess to many as well. the sacrifices and the things he had done to save the lives of the Jews at that time - there is no bigger word to describe the kindness of his soul....so let's take some time to pay tribute to this man, who has rescued 1,100 jews and now there are actually more than 6000 of Schindler Jews. It's a black and white movie n i must admit that it is so difficult to hear the words becuz of the German accent. But it would be helpful if u actually go to Wikipedia and search for they brief synopsis first, if u don't mind it spoiling the suspense.

Poldek Pfefferberg is the name of the man who brought up Oskar Schindler to Thomas Kenealley, who wrote the book "Schindler's Ark" and also persistently persuaded Steven Spielberg to make the film. He was the advisor for the movie "Schindler's list". And i love Pfefferberg's quote:

"Schindler gave me my life, and i tried to give him immortality"

Pfefferberg has definitely done so...like how Steven Spielberg put it in his Oscar acceptance speech - he owes Pfefferberg such a debt becuz Pfefferberg has carried the story of Schindler to all of us....very very true indeed....

Til next time

Tammy d awesomist....

Some thoughts on my head...

2008-10-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

Before I continue, I’d first wanna thank God for saving my ears. Yes, an issue that I have been worrying about since a few days back and I’m so lucky that the doc managed to extract the earring that was ‘buried’ in my ear lobe. It was a pretty scary experience to actually have to go for a very minor surgery but the relief after doin it was worth it. I now shall never pierce my ears again. It wasn’t a pleasant experience and I look just fine without earrings anyway. Haha. Also I’d like to thank my aunts for their concern n my mum for being there.

Anywayz, since I am now on my semester break, I have loads of spare time to kill. And if you know me, I’m not the kind who would fill it with beneficial or educational stuff. I don’t read much haha, unless the latest Harry Potter book is out – now Harry Potter is the only book that can magnet my eyes to the pages. It’s like it wouldn’t let go. I feel so hard-working when I’m reading a Harry Potter book. People also think I’m hard-working. That’s a very good feeling to have haha. Okay but let’s not drift away to the books. So am also supposed to start with my thesis, but me being me, is still procrastinating. Well I have a good reason okay. It’s Hari Raya and I don’t wanna disturb my lecturer during Raya. I’m just being understanding and considerate; or maybe it’s another excuse *oops guilty* But whatever it is, I’ll make sure I look into it soon haha. Just don’t let me dad know about this laziness syndrome. He still thinks that holidays should be spent wisely and constructively. That’s why he’s always figuring out ways to get us to do some housework like painting and cleaning etc. Sigh, not that I mind but sometimes, it’s really really not fun. =( I guess that’s how he train us.Maybe a few incentives *hint hint* could help. But then again, he never wants us to work for the cash, but rather to know that it is our responsibility to help out in the family. Guess I understand that but just cannot shove out the ‘couldn’t-care-less’ or the ‘lazy-to-pick-up-a-broom’ attitude. I mean, if you have a choice, would u choose to do housework or would u choose to relax and play some computer games? I know, most teens would say…DUH! Some really nice and hardworking teens would say help with housework. I’m in the first category by the way. To be fair, my siblings are also in that category. We are not proud of it, but we still are in that category.

So what I did during the hols was played a lot of The Sims 2 and watched a few movies. First I watched “You don’t mess with the Zohan”, starring my fave comedian Adam Sandler. Now I enjoy most of Adam Sandler’s work because they are all subtlely meaningful. For example, “Click”, “Waterboy”, “Big Daddy”, “Chuck and Larry” and even this one “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan”. However with Zohan, it’s not that I don’t like it but I just feel that the jokes are a bit too distasteful in some ways. Like how Zohan just ‘service’ all the makcik-makciks (old ladies) with his “birdie”. There were a few other disgusting ones like how he catches his fish in between his a**. Well maybe it’s just me but I am not really into these comedies. But I have to admit, they are some funny parts that cracked me up. But every Adam Sandler movie has got its values. This one as well has a beautiful meaning despite some unpleasant comics. I have heard about the Israeli-Palestinian conflicts over land before…I don’t remember them since it is very confusing, but one thing is for sure, the consequences of these conflicts are tremendous. People kill people from other tribes…ruthlessly and some torturously. Zohan of course highlights this issue subtlely, using a light-hearted approach. The most memorable one character actually said was, in America, we’re all the same, which is so true… These people look the same, you can’t even tell them apart but they differentiate each other through their tribes or ethnicity. This is similar to the Tutsis and Hutus in Darfur. It’s so ridiculous. Why can’t we live as brothers (or sisters) and help each other? And the movie also indirectly criticize those autocratic countries, I feel. When these Arab people are busy fighting against each other, their real enemies are taking advantage of the distrust they have for each other. They should be working together to fight their enemies (in the movie, it’s a company who wants to tear down their city to build a mall, but in real live I guess it kinda is representative of the countries with authority). Of course in the movie, all ends well, but in the real word, there are still some on-going conflicts. I think Tun Dr. Mahathir once pointed out at the OIC meeting to all the Islamic countries about working together, and not fighting one another. Going against each other not only provides an easy advantage for stronger countries, but also, these Islamic countries continue to be poor and undeveloped. Then they shall continue to be under those ‘Big Bosses’. Anyway I guess it is true that war is not a solution to many things. Even a strong commando like Zohan hates war. But then again, it’s just a movie la…but let’s just be a bit idealistic and consider the positive hehehe. Also Zohan subtlely highlights how Americans misjudge these Middle East nationals. America especially, portrays them as terrorists, which is very unfair and i guess Zohan in some ways enlightens the people that people, no matter where a person is from, sometimes, we are more similar than u think. Maybe they are like u and me; they go to America becuz they need to earn a living. some of their people might be terrorist, but u cant stereotype that all of them are. I'm glad that there are some Americans who hv more sense and many of them are writing movies which in fact criticises how shallow some of the other Americans are.

There was an episode of CSI if i'm not mistaken, in which the police had to investigate a murder case of an Israeli teenager who was tortured and raped. The police first suspect was her father becuz they were stereotyping that Muslims usually are conservative and strict. THey thought the father had to murder the daughter becuz she was a disgrace to the family. (She was pregnant before marriage) The truth is, the daughter was murdered by her boyfriend, who was an American. After the boy was arrested, the girls mother said something very meaningful...because of the stereotypes, they never once suspect their own people. they say that Israelis are heartless and called them terrorists but some of the Whites are also as ruthless. So why aren't we afraid of them? That means, i guess it reminds us that it's not ur ethnicity or where we come from that determines who we are, but rather what we do that identifies us.

Anywayz, I then went on Youtube and watched a few other movies. The first one was “Addicted to Love” starring Meg Ryan, Matthew Boderick and Kelly Preston. This is quite an old romantic comedy but still very nice. Well, it’s the kinda mellow, relaxing movie you watch when you just want to have a good time without having to think about anything. “Addicted to love” is about how Sam (Matthew Boderick), whose gf (Kelly Preston) left their small town to go to New York to be a teacher. And soon she fell in love with another guy in NY and breaks up with Sam. Sam then went off to NY in hopes of winning her back. He then resides in a wrecked storeroom-like room below his gf and her new bf’s apartment. Suddenly one day a very feisty woman (Meg Ryan) who rides a cool motorbike just invades his so-called new house. He soon found out that she was his gf’s current bf’s ex-gf…very confusing? Read again to get the pic. So Meg Ryan convinces Sam to work with her in her plan to break up the couple. THough reluctant at first, Sam finally agrees in order to win Kelly Preston back whereas Meg Ryan continues to seek revenge on her ex. She was angry tat her ex, which is a French man, had used her to get a Visa to reside in the States. To cut a long story short, I’m sure you’d hv guessed that Sam and Meg Ryan end up falling for one another. This is a must-have plot in every romantic comedy. It’s a nice movie though. Not one that ur boyfriends would enjoy if u ask me haha, unless ur bf is really sweet and has a softer side. but if u are having a girlie night…u can consider watching this one.

“Serendipity” is another nice romantic comedy. The word itself is so meaningful. “Serendipity” means a fortunate accident or a pleasant discovery by chance. I guess this word is linked to the word “fate” as well. I guess when I watched this movie, the question that comes to my mind is….do u believe in fate? If u asks me, YES! Without a doubt but, I’m not those person who will just leave everything to fate. Kate Beckinsale put it very nicely in the movie…fate are signs…we have to read the signs, which will determine what happen. I totally support that. I always believe that things happen when u least expect it. Sometimes I keep wishing for something to happen, and when I just let it go, it happens. I guess when people are meant to be together, be it in relationship or just friendship, sometimes you really have to leave it to fate. Like me and my friend Huey Ning. She’s this really hot chick in my national service camp which I was intimidated to talk to. And little that I know, she would become one of my closest buddy ever, even til now. Music just suddenly connects the both of us. Yuin Yue, my college best friend – I feel tat we have a lot in common when I saw her first time in class. Well for one thing, we ahem…both are short and have almost the same hairstyle. So from far, we kinda look like twins. But I didn’t really talk to her until 1 year later and now we’re besties. I have a strange chemistry that I felt with both of them. I don’t know but I really believe that if things are meant to be, it’ll be in place sooner or later. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work for it. Back to “Serendipity” though, it’s a movie in which Kate Beckinsale who plays Sara leaves her love to fate. It’s like she doesn’t give Jonathan (John Cusack) her number after their first encounter (in which they had a great time together) because she thinks that if they are destined together, they will meet again one day. She asked Jonathan to write his number on a one dollar note and she then use the money. She told him that if that bill returns back to her hand again, she’ll call him. She also wrote her number on an old book, in which she would sell to a bookstore the next day and if the book lands in the hands of Jonathan, then he could contact her. Years past and both of them were supposed to get married to someone else….and suddenly they thought of one another and plan to search for each other again. Of course the girl would have to search for the note and the guy for the book. In the end after some ups and downs finally they found each other. So, I guess fate brought them together…but they have to stil work for it. She has to travel from England to NY in search for Jonathan while Jonathan has to find that book, in whichever bookstore in NY. To wrap things up, “Serendipity” is also a kinda nice, relaxing romantic movie. My favourite character though is Jonathan’s best friend a.k.a sidekick in the movie – Dean. He’s freaking hillarious. Some of his lines were the best!

I’d really love to talk about “Little Nicky” and “Anger Management” but that’s all for now since this post is too long haha…
Anywayz post again soon but not so soon I guess becuz the new semester is starting soon and I will be back in KL with no Internet connection. Life goes on though. I still have mamak stalls and a lot of catch-uping to do with my friends. Till then…take care peepzz…

Muax
Tammy